Your Sense of Self Worth

Posted on Jan 17, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

“Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.”
~ Wayne Dyer

There is something that I would augment to Wayne Dyer’s statement above and that is –“Self-Worth comes from two things: knowing and believing that you’re worthy” – because we can try to convince ourselves all day long that we’re worthy, but if you don’t feel it in your gut and your heart, it’s really difficult to convince yourself of it.

So, what’s the secret, the magic pill to experiencing what Claim Your Worth!® really means and what it really feels like?

Well, the first step to the process is exactly what’s mentioned above which is raising your awareness of your worth so you can know and believe that you’re worthy. But the question remains for most, how much are you really worthy of? How much self-worth are you supposed to have?

To help answer that question, I’m pulling out an exercise I gave to a class I taught a couple years back and it goes like this:

Take out a blank piece of paper and place it horizontally – and then draw a straight line across in the middle of the page – as if you’re going to cut the page in half equally. Then, on the far left-side of the line I want you to put a slash with the #1 and underneath it I want you to write the words: Undeserving Person. Then, to the far-right, you’re going to put a slash with the #100 and underneath it note – Totally Deserving Person.

Then, take a few minutes and think back over your life and all your experiences. Think about your relationships and your upbringing and all the circumstances you had at school, home, work, etc. You’ll remember good, great, and some not so good experiences but simply take inventory of your life as a whole.

Then, I want you to rate yourself on the scale you drew and note where you see yourself falling on the scale. A score of 100 would mean you deeply believe that you are totally good and deserve everything you desire, and a 1 would mean you believe you don’t deserve anything! Then, write down your score on the page underneath your scale.

Now, the Truth is – most everybody that does this exercise the first time, chooses a place smack dab in the middle. Was there where your score fell? If it did, you’re totally normal, yet you’re not totally aware of your innate self-worth.

Most everybody believes that self-worth is correlated with self-esteem – and the two are very closely aligned. Some would say they are the same thing. However, the way I teach within the Claim Your Worth!® community is based on a totally different scale – which is: your self-worth doesn’t waiver or move – it remains at the far-right of the scale and that place is 100%.

See, your self-worth, has nothing to do with your human capabilities, your ‘mistakes’, your relationships, what you have, what you don’t have, and what success you’ll achieve and what failures you’ll endure. So, regardless of what’s been done to you, or what you’ve done to others, your self-worth doesn’t change. Your worth as a person, as a soul, doesn’t waiver based on actions, circumstances, etc.

However, what does waiver and shifts that scale to go from 100% to lower percentages, is a result of loads of limiting programming that went into your little mind at an early-age. Things that you were told about yourself, your capabilities – or maybe weren’t told anything – and that resulted in you believing you didn’t matter or that others were better – or more capable that you.

Whatever the programming was, it stuck in your brain like imprinted messages – that forced you to conform to what others wanted from you so they would accept you and love you. Because, after all, if you didn’t do what you were told, you’d be punished.

So no wonder it can be so difficult to feel worthy of 100% on that scale because after-all, weren’t you told that you aren’t 100%? And if you’re coming to looking out at an ocean of possibilities and a future you’re yearning to be different than the past that includes all kinds of new experiences, can you see how you may stop yourself from not only moving forward, but even getting started on the dreaming process?

Check-out the “Worth Work” below where I give you some questions to ponder to dig-down a bit into some areas that may be making your ability to vision for your future cloudy!

 

WORTH WORK

When you go to vision for your life and what it is that you and your soul long for – do you have a hard-time even taking the time to put pen to paper? If you do, check-out the exercises below that can help you get out of your head and into your heart:

Imagine for a moment that you are mentoring your child with an exercise that they need to do for school (if you don’t have children of your own, envision a child you care deeply about.)

Then, when the two of you sit down with a big white poster board in front of you, they tell you that they’ve been tasked to dream 20-years into the future – and need help with thinking up all the fun-filled, adventurous possibilities available to them – where they are able to live their purpose, enjoy their days, do work they love, and help loads of people in the process.

They also tell you that in this visioning process, their teacher instructed them to not hold-back, or think of any of that “practical adult-stuff” like responsibilities and especially money. Basically, their teacher instructed them to dream as big as the sky – and to really claim all that they deserve to experience in this lifetime.

Now, they look-up at you with big, beautiful, precious eyes and say, how about we do this for you next?

The point of this exercise is: we can see for others the endless possibilities – especially for children that we love and adore. Yet, when it comes to yourself, you may have a much harder time.

The question remains is: why are they worth it and you aren’t? It’s a bigger question that deserves much contemplation – but I encourage you to shelve the question for now and get to work on this exercise as if you were mentoring a child that you love and adore – because In Truth – YOU ARE.

 

To Your Worth!
Brenda


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