A guilty conscience needs to confess. A work of art is a confession. ~Albert Camus
During a coaching call last week, a client asked a fundamental question that I think at one point or another we’ve all asked ourselves– consciously or unconsciously – Is it bad to want that?
Essentially what my client was asking is: Is it bad to want MORE? More joy, more beauty, more meaning, more experiences? More expansion?
What’s perplexing is– there are some folks who feel guilty and wrong for wanting and craving more and then others who don’t feel guilty about wanting or craving more.
The question remains – why do some have no issue with not only wanting, but having more, and others who feel bad, guilty or unable to manifest MORE?
As I wrote about in this article, having not only more – but more than enough – can be a very difficult concept to grasp, let alone claim and own for yourself.
If you struggle with the concept of having MORE – not only in terms of material things – but emotional feelings and experience, consider that you may have some “shadowy” aspects to your personality that you need to claim.
In other words, there are aspects to your personality that you don’t want to be – or can’t be with.
For example, when you were growing up, you may have witnessed others around you being what you’d consider greedy, selfish, and uncaring. You may have made a decision that you’ll never, ever be that.
Therefore, you become the opposite of these aspects – generous, kind, and compassionate…all beautiful traits for sure. Yet, you may find these beautiful aspects need to be balanced in order for you to learn how-to RECEIVE and have MORE in your life, work and relationships.
Check-out the Worthy Work below to learn how-to re-claim certain aspects that will help you feel less guilt about wanting and having MORE in all areas of your life.
To Your Worth!
If you identify with being a giving, kind person – yet struggle with an unbalance of also feeling resentful because you tend to over-give at the detriment of you being able to receive – consider how you can claim more balance for yourself:
Claim A Little Sally you’ve most likely watched the movie When Harry Met Sally -if you haven’t, I highly recommend it. It’s not only a great movie about life and relationships but it’s a great example of a woman who has a strong sense of Self and isn’t afraid to express it. If you study Sally, you’ll notice how lovable, interesting and kind she is – and also how strong she is in not only knowing what she wants, but actually claiming it. She wants what she wants and asks for it – but isn’t selfish, demanding, or obnoxious – it’s actually adorable how she asks and Harry falls in love with her for it!
Command vs. Demand to express authority over your life and what your heart really yearns to experience is very different than demanding what you want and feel entitled to. I see commanding as powerful and adult-like, and demanding as a child having a temper tantrum. Consider that you’re yearning to have and experience MORE is simply a healthy, adult feeling that will allow you to expand yourself in all areas – and demanding as keeping you stuck in lack.
Balanced Entitlement entitlement often gets a bad rap especially when you hear someone say – he/she is so entitled…they are so selfish. So, in order to not be selfish, you may have made an unconscious decision to be giving – but giving to a point of people pleasing or over-giving. Know that there is such a thing as balanced entitlement – giving from your heart and ALSO learning to receive with your heart. The two aspects go hand-in-hand – if you give, be ready and willing to receive as well.
Give these points time to marinate and keep an open mind. Your mind will most likely try to shut you out from experiencing MORE but in that case, allow your heart to guide you – it always knows the way!
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