Valuing Yourself: A Real World Example

Posted on Mar 31, 2014 | by Brenda Stanton

“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” ~Malcolm S. Forbes

Last weekend, I bought a new car – a Jeep in fact – and I couldn’t be happier with my decision – or the entire buying process.

I wanted to share this story with you because after sharing it with a very good friend, she said: “Wow, you really valued yourself through that entire process huh?”

I hadn’t realized at the time, that the process I instituted was a tangible, real-world example of valuing myself. But, looking back, I can see now that it absolutely is/was, hence the reason I want to share.

For starters, going into this car buying process, I took the time to document all that I wanted with my new vehicle. It helped that through my experience with my lease, I knew what I didn’t want which gave me lots of clarity on what I wanted.

I knew for sure that I needed to buy a car vs. lease one, because I drive way too much for a lease. I also knew that if I was planning to keep this car for quite some time (which I am), that I wanted the interior to be classy and comfortable with all the fixings.

Based on what I wanted, I then narrowed my search down to 3-4 cars and had one brand– Jeep – kept winning out. I looked at some other SUVs, but Jeep kept coming to the top of the list each time. I can’t tell you why necessarily because all the other brands were comparable – but there was something about the Jeep brand that resonated with me.

So, then, I went to work. To motivate me and keep myself accountable, I made an appointment with a Jeep dealership – so that I would have to do my research and prepare thoroughly for the appointment. I knew I had a month to make a decision, but I wanted to go into my first appointment prepared.

I spent the entire morning, before my appointment at Jeep, crafting a spreadsheet. I had each vehicle I was interested in columns and had all their features and benefits lined-up against each other. I also had, most importantly, the research I had done with Kelly Blue Book and Edmunds on the manufacturer’s sale price and fair market value for each vehicle.

I realized mid-way through that I was treating this purchase just as I would with a project at work. I hadn’t realized at the time, that what we get really good at through practice, can be taken and applied to any area of your life!

After my research was compiled, and I had my spreadsheet printed and neatly folded in my purse, I headed to my appointment. I felt no twinge of nervousness because I had never expected to buy a car that day (isn’t that what everyone says?), and knew I had over 30-days to make a decision anyways.

I walked into the dealership, asked for the person I was to meet with and was greeted by a nice guy named Larry. I told Larry exactly what I was looking for and he listened. We then went for a test drive and he continued to listen. After listening intently, Larry offered me some nice solutions to take care of my lease which had aspects to it that were stressing me out!

Then, we sat down to negotiate price. He wanted a number from me, but rather than give him a number (a key thing to avoid in negotiating), I asked him for a number. He went back to his sales manager and came back with 3 numbers with three different scenarios.

I remember looking at all three columns and wiggling my nose and saying to myself and him – “Nope, you need to do better”.

Larry was surprised but said something key which I appreciated: “I’m willing to earn your business”. “That sounds great!” I thought – and in that moment, I felt valued.

Now, of course, that may be a sales line they tell them all to say, but who cares, I felt valued and I was valuing myself and my wallet!

Larry came back with some other numbers that I continued to wiggle my nose at. Each time I sent Larry back to his manager’s office, which had to of been 6 times, I relaxed and detached. I knew that I had time to get a great deal – and wasn’t worried one bit. Honestly, again, I had no intention of buying a car that day!

Finally, the manager had to come out to finish the deal on the exact Jeep that I had wanted with all the fixings. I negotiated the monthly payment I wanted in addition to some other key things – such as 3 years of free oil changes! – and walked away feeling happy, satisfied and valued.

I share this story because there are some “worthy nuggets” about the process of valuing yourself that I didn’t realize until my good friend pointed them out!

To learn exactly what these Worthy Nuggets are, check-out the Worthy Work below.



Below are three Worthy Nuggets that you can use in any area of your life to help you get what it is that you not only want, but rightfully deserve:

Worthy Nugget #1: Know What You Want & What You Will & Won’t Waiver On: I realized that I could treat the car buying process exactly like I handle things with my work – methodical and very specific. I knew exactly what I wanted and what I didn’t want and documented it all. I had an absolute yes list (things I couldn’t and wouldn’t waiver on), an absolute no list (things I wouldn’t deal with again) and a maybe list (things I’d love to have but could live without).

Worthy Nugget #2: Prepare, Do Research & Know What Is Fair: Then, I backed up my strong intention list with action. I did my research. I knew through the use of internet research, the three numbers I had to know about getting a really good deal. It’s true that buying a new car is truly easier than buying a used car now-a-days – because all the data is out there – you just need to find it. I had a great understanding of what the dealer paid for the Jeep I wanted, what they could sell it at to still make a profit, and, probably most importantly, what is fair market value based on what others had paid for the same vehicle in my geographic area.

Worthy Nugget #3: Relax & Detach: Upon entering the dealership, I had my spreadsheet in my purse which was for my eyes only. I felt empowered and prepared. Then, once I told Larry what I wanted, I let go. Yep, I let him handle it. I sat back, relaxed and didn’t worry. Then, when he came back with less than attractive numbers, I sent him back again – until we got to a mutual deal that I felt was fair. : If you can look at the past and see how it’s been perfect for you to live-out your life’s calling, but don’t commit to evolving your sense of self, you may find yourself retracting back to your old habits and old ways of being. It’s so easy to know deep within that you have purpose and that there is so much potential to be realized. What’s not so easy is believing that YOU are the person to realize that potential and do your life’s work. You may find yourself knowing clearly what to do but you’re just not doing it. If so, it’s time for you to work on your sense of self and realize your true identity. To claim your God given rights – to Claim Your Worth!®

These three Worthy Nuggets sound real simple, and they are! But it’s so important that you include all of them in your process of going after what you want – because so much of it is about the relaxation and letting go part. The key is, I knew I had time and I knew that I still had a car to drive home. There wasn’t any desperation to the process and I think that is the most important part.

So, for whatever it is that you’re looking to change or bring into your life, try instituting these nuggets and remember, value yourself and then, value yourself some more! It works!




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