The Seesaw of Self Worth Trap

Posted on Jun 28, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

“Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence.” ~Hal Borland

A couple weeks ago I was out on my daily walk – and noticed a few patches of what looked to be new potential grass the neighbor hoped to have grow-in. The rest of the grass on the lawn was healthy and green, but the patches were cut-outs that were placed on the outskirts – near the road – where cars and foot traffic may have damaged the original grass.

Each day, I walk by the patches and would notice that they were still yellow and no grass had cropped through. Yet, yesterday on my walk, I noticed that long blades of vibrant green grass seemed to have grown overnight.

Normally I wouldn’t think much of this – but I intuitively thought about all the rain we’ve had over the past several days, especially the downpours we’ve endured.

This realization made made me realize that in order for the grass to grow so vibrantly – it needed to endure – and soak-up – all the elements – the so-called good (Light via the Sun) and the so-called bad (Loads of Rain and Darkness).

I use this example because in our lives we must, at some point, realize that the chase for more, the chase for perfection, the chase for all the pieces to perfectly fit, and for everything to be ‘just-so’ – and ‘perfect’ – is fleeting.

As I’ve mentioned in past articles, in order to grow and evolve into our most radiant, strong, abundant, worthy Selves, we must develop the awareness of the Truth that we live in a world of duality. Each day we’ll witness so-called “good” and so-called “bad”.

It’s how we respond- and learn from – these ‘elements’ that make all the difference.

This is why it’s so imperative to NOT have your perception of your self-worth act like a seesaw would – where it goes up and down, up and down. But to rather see that – you’re given various elements (just like the grass) to help you grow – and realize that whatever comes your way – ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – it has value – and it contributes to your Self – and your perception of yourself and your innate worth.

The danger in staying on the seesaw, and viewing your self-worth in this way, is you’ll stay stuck in the ‘not enough’ and lack mentality, indefinitely .

With the seesaw of self-worth as your base, you’ll realize that:

  • The bank account will never be where you want it; you’ll always wish it was more
  • You’ll lose a client here and there and worry about if you’re worthy of “success”, and then begin to doubt yourself and your abilities.
  • You won’t get the contract or the raise you were hoping for and feel like it will never happen for you – others can progress, but you can’t.
  • You’ll get rejected by a loved one and be hurt – possibly devastated – and wonder why you aren’t worthy of love, etc.

    The list of how your perception of your self worth can/will seesaw – goes on and on.

    There is a different way to view yourself, your circumstances and what happens to you however – and it’s seeing the Truth that just like with the grass- it’s ALL worth-while. It ALL builds-up to who you become and what you have to contribute – and this is what builds tremendous character and resolve, and also, what contributes to you feeling deserving and worthy.

    Believe it or not, your ability to endure – helps with your sense of self-worth! You begin to feel more deserving – and won’t sabotage yourself – because you know – that you can handle whatever comes your way!

    Because in Truth, you’re being prepared for new experiences – and you’ll need that character and resolve when the big-moments come to step-up and stand-out.

    Check-out the Worthy Work below where I challenge you to look at your life, your circumstances, and what you’ve been given – and ask you to see where there is a blade of beautiful, vibrant, colorful, authenticity yearning to get birthed through.



    If you’re at a point where you’re yearning to do more meaningful work in the world – but are stuck on what that looks like, the first step I always advise clients is to start with your life story.

    I often get faced with lots of resistance when I ask clients to delve deeper into the past so they can begin to mold their future – but resistance is only there because major growth is forthcoming. So embrace it and then move onto the next step.

    This week challenge yourself to look back at your life in 10-year increments – and see what you remember about those times. Years 1-10, 11-20, and so on.

    Consider if there were there certain experiences you had a hard time embracing. Then, look to see how you’ve overcome these, and how have they contributed to who you are today – and what you’re most proud of? Where are the gifts? What can you see you’ve been prepared to teach others – that has had value in your life?

    If you’re committed to being a leader, in your life, work, and relationships – someone who is a power of example – and makes a difference by being who you really are vs. what you do – then you’ll begin to welcome whatever life hands you.

    You’ll begin to view yourself and your innate worth very differently – because you’ll know that whatever comes your way – that you’re being groomed to BE a much better, more effective, more authentic, strong, influential teacher.

    A teacher whom, rather than feeling like an imposter – who reads about what true strength is – and how others have it – you’ll realize you’ve been given the stuff that contributes to that strength – and can teach others how to endure certain circumstances as well.

    Now, doesn’t that make for a worth-while life? To know that what you’ve been given (Good and Bad) can be shared for the common good and the evolution of humanity?

    If you’d like a one-sheet I share with clients, to give more process around this, simply email and we’ll be sure to send it off to you!


    To Your Worth!

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