The Secret To Change

Posted on Oct 28, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”
~ Carl Bard

The hardest thing that I’ve found for all of us to continually learn is: realizing what you can control and what you can’t. At the end of the day, I believe it always comes back full-circle to the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

I always take a deep breath of relief when I recite this prayer to myself, especially when life feels out of control and I feel powerless to change the circumstances.

I recently saw a commercial where the message said: Coping Isn’t Controlling. At first I didn’t think much about it, but then it struck me, it’s true!

When you’re in a trial, or simply trying to understand what’s next for you – and you’re trying to cope with “what is” when “what is” isn’t what you want, the natural tendency is to want to control circumstances and get them to change.

But what if, the secret to change is to know what you have control over and what you don’t. What if there were a way to know what you can control and what you can’t.

Often without even realizing it, we all feel powerless to change anything at times. Life gets very shaky and the future feels incredibly uncertain.

In these times when you feel uncertain, the tendency is to want to control things in order to cope. Yet, what if the desire to control the future is the one thing that keeps the future you want from you?

To help you cope without controlling and realize the future you truly want, check-out the Worthy Work below where I provide some tips on how you can break free from old habits of wanting to control and learn to allow your future to take shape.


To Your Worth!



So..what if that is true, that the secret to change is to know what you have control over and what you don’t, and the key is to be able to take inventory of this and make the distinction. Below are some tips, inspired by the Serenity Prayer, to consider as you look to embrace change without the struggle:

Step 1: Know what you can control: If you are feeling powerless to change your current circumstances and create a better future, start with taking inventory on what you can control. Give thought to what you have power over to help you feel more empowered. For example, you have power what you wear, what you eat, what you think, etc. – and if you take inventory of all these things, you’ll feel more powerful, and more hopeful about the future, in an instant.

Step 2: Knowing what you can’t control: Knowing what you can’t control also helps you feel more powerful because you realize that you have a Higher Power whose hands you can turn everything over to. At any time, especially when you’re feeling powerless, you can take your hands off the wheel and state: “Thy Will Be Done” – and then allow your Higher Power to take over. Even the things that you have control over can feel as if they get out of your control – so if this happens, simply hand it over and ask your Higher Power for assistance. I promise you’ll receive it if you remain open.

Step 3: Learning the difference: And being able to decipher the difference between what you can control and what you can’t is certainly a skill to be learned and it takes practice and prayer. Hence the reason this is part of the Serenity Prayer. To help you decipher what you can and cannot control, first start with Step 1 taking inventory and then default to Step 2, relying on your High Power for what feels totally out of your control – and in no time, you’ll be in a place of relaxation and allowing will inevitably bring forth changes that you desire.

Have a great week taking inventory and doing some deciphering – and most importantly, relying on your Higher Power to help you feel more powerful through handing things over when they get too overwhelming.




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