The Big Fear That Holds You Back

Posted on Oct 15, 2012 | by Brenda Stanton

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” ~Winston Churchill

I remember when I was in school growing up, that the one thing I always got in trouble for was: talking too much.

My Mom used to go to the parent/teacher conferences and my teachers would always say the same thing: “Brenda is a good student but she never stops talking – even when we tell her not to, she continues as if she didn’t hear us!”.

Well, looking back at my younger self, I can see many reasons why I never wanted to be quiet in school. One of them is because talking, communicating, speaking, teaching, writing, etc. is what I was put here to do.

I have the gift of gab as they say and I use it to help others as best I can. Yet, my gift of gab hasn’t always been honored or cherished either by me or by others.

I’ve shunned myself many times for having opinions about things and for using my voice – especially when others weren’t in agreement about what I had to say. In fact, I’ve had others get down-right angry at me for expressing my feelings and opinions.

So, having opinions and using your voice in a world full of people who want you to conform, is like trying to swim upstream – it’s hard and it takes lots of strength and courage!

And this is where I see so much resistance coming in within
my coaching practice, with clients who know they have something important to share with others – whether it’s their literal voice through written and spoken word – or it’s through their creative expressions through art, creative creations, etc.

You most likely have a burning desire to express – to realize your full potential – to create and share and influence in some way. Yet you may, at the same time, feel held back by something and aren’t sure what that hold-back is. To help you decipher what this hold-back may be, check-out the Worthy Work below.


To Your Worth!



When it comes down to it, having a hold-back and resistance to moving forward on your creative dreams always boils down to one biggie of a fear:
The Fear of Losing Love. To help you break-down what this fear of losing love looks like in different aspects, consider these three main points:

Addicted to Pleasing & Approval: A strong need to be approved of by others will stop you every time because when we believe others hold our self-worth in their hands, they are given all the power. Access where you feel a NEED to please others and why that would be. You’ll most likely discover that you’ve been taught to view yourself through others eyes vs. allowing yourself to be seen through your Creator’s eyes.

Fear of Rejection:An off-shoot from the fear of losing love and being addicted to approval is, a strong fear of being rejected. The fear of people not liking us, or what we have to say/share is steeped in the same mixture as the whole fear of being “found out” or feeling like a “fraud”. We all must realize however that the true fraud is the false self – the inner critic – not the Real You!

Fear of Shame & Humiliation: The fear of being “found out” is stemmed from feeling shame. We all shame in some capacity but it’s important to decipher what is your shame and what isn’t. Oftentimes sensitive, creative, intuitive, empathetic people who are born to give and create take-on other people’s “stuff” without realizing it. Check-out
this article to help you release some of the heaviness you may be carrying:

The goal here is to help you become more aware of the false beliefs that are holding you back and to help you release those so you can illuminate more LIGHT on our planet. Release the hold-backs and courageously shine – we need what you have to say/share!




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