The Art Of Discernment

Posted on Jan 15, 2012 | by Brenda Stanton

“Make no judgments where you have no compassion.” ~Anne McCaffrey

Judgment gets a bad rap in our society.

You hear people tell us that judging is bad, yet the Truth is: in order to function in life you do need to judge. The key is, knowing what and who to judge.

In other words, judge behavior or the circumstance, but not the motive/heart of it.

Consider this: every situation, every person, every circumstance is in your life to help evolve your soul.

It may not feel like that at the time, but at a deep level, we all know this to be true. So, does this mean that you continue to accept bad behavior, or keep yourself stuck in a situation that you know isn’t for your highest good?

No, it’s actually the complete opposite. When someone or something “tests” you, and it “tests” you greatly, consider the person or circumstance a friend, not a foe.

For your own well-being, you must learn the “The Art of Discernment”, which is to judge people’s behavior or the circumstances, but not the reason/motivation of it. If someone is in your life who has challenged you, take it as an opportunity to learn, to grow, to evolve and to get the lesson – and then, decide what’s in your best interest moving forward.

Sometimes you can change your circumstances and sometimes you can’t. Your job is to look where you can change and control things and take the appropriate action. If you can’t control something that’s challenging to you, consider that the enduring of ‘it’ is a gift to the evolution of your soul, and rather than feeling like you’re being ‘punished’, consider yourself being prepared.

Learning the “Art of Discernment” is a great gift to give yourself because when you’re a compassionate, caring, giving, loving person – you need to know how-to discern what’s in your best interest and what isn’t.

To help you discern situations and others, check-out the Worthy Work below to help you flex and buff your discernment muscle so you can operate more effectively in your life, work and relationships.


To Your Worth!



Take an assessment in your life and ask: where do I feel drained, resentful and deprived? Where is my time and energy being sucked up that feels out of alignment with what I really want my time to feel like? Who in my life do I know doesn’t have my best interests at heart, but I’m too afraid to look at this and admit the Truth? Self-honesty is critical with this exercise.

After you access where you’re feeling a bit resentful, ask yourself, if no one would get upset at me, and I could free-up my time, while keeping the relationship in-tact without any negative consequences or repercussions, what obligations would I let go of?

It’s important to look at your life circumstances and view them through the lens of discernment by asking: does this person, circumstance or thing bring me closer to my highest goals? Is this situation or person’s behavior in-line with me being my Best Self in life, work and relationships?

Giving yourself the gift of Truth is priceless – and it takes immense courage to face the fact that you are responsible for what’s in your own best interest. No one can do this for you – only you can do it.

In a perfect world no one would get angry or upset at us for honoring our own Selves, but that just isn’t realistic. But the alternative is too painful when a situation is causing you grief or upset – you must change what you need (and what you can) for your own best interest.

This discerning approach to life allows you to truly be your Best Self and to do your best work in this world. Without experiencing it first-hand you can never know the impact.

Your goal: Add Discernment to your toolkit of self and soul-care and I promise you – your vibe, your energy and overall self-worth will rise and more positive things will come into your life immediately.

Give it a try while you remember that this is the year for you to Claim Your Worth!® and this exercise is a key tool in doing just that!




To Your Worth!

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