Posts Tagged ‘Your True Self’

The Secret To Change

Posted on Oct 28, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”
~ Carl Bard

The hardest thing that I’ve found for all of us to continually learn is: realizing what you can control and what you can’t. At the end of the day, I believe it always comes back full-circle to the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

I always take a deep breath of relief when I recite this prayer to myself, especially when life feels out of control and I feel powerless to change the circumstances.

I recently saw a commercial where the message said: Coping Isn’t Controlling. At first I didn’t think much about it, but then it struck me, it’s true!

When you’re in a trial, or simply trying to understand what’s next for you – and you’re trying to cope with “what is” when “what is” isn’t what you want, the natural tendency is to want to control circumstances and get them to change.

But what if, the secret to change is to know what you have control over and what you don’t. What if there were a way to know what you can control and what you can’t.

Often without even realizing it, we all feel powerless to change anything at times. Life gets very shaky and the future feels incredibly uncertain.

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Protect Your Energy

Posted on May 6, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“Never allow what another does steal your joy. You have power to react any way you choose. Be conscious of protecting your positive energy.”

When you are on the conscious path and taking responsibility for how you yearn to, and deserve to, live your life – you will not only battle with your own negative thoughts and inner critic, but you’ll also have to deal with the negative thoughts and inner critics of others.

If you’ve been on the self-development path for quite some time, no doubt you’ve read about, implemented and succeeded at the power of positive thinking. It’s true, what you think about you bring about.

Yet, as with everything, there are always deeper levels to go to with the learning.

As you continue to Claim Your Worth!®, you may notice that it feels like it will get harder before it gets easier. And much of this has to do with your dealings of others who aren’t on the same conscious path as you.

This is in no way to say anyone is “better” or “more evolved” than anyone else. Rather, it simply is the Truth that we all have different roles to play here on planet earth – and everyone is reading their own life script.

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Wanting More For Your Life

Posted on Apr 15, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

A guilty conscience needs to confess. A work of art is a confession. ~Albert Camus

During a coaching call last week, a client asked a fundamental question that I think at one point or another we’ve all asked ourselves– consciously or unconsciously – Is it bad to want that?

Essentially what my client was asking is: Is it bad to want MORE? More joy, more beauty, more meaning, more experiences? More expansion?

What’s perplexing is– there are some folks who feel guilty and wrong for wanting and craving more and then others who don’t feel guilty about wanting or craving more.

The question remains – why do some have no issue with not only wanting, but having more, and others who feel bad, guilty or unable to manifest MORE?

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Fear of Making Changes

Posted on Apr 7, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

““Put your expectations on God, not on people.” ~Joyce Meyer

Many self-help teachers teach about feeling resistance and how if you’re stuck, you need to break through that stuck-ness with action.

I agree – action is powerful when it comes to getting yourself un-stuck from say – not exercising. Great advice is to – as Nike says – Just Do It!®.

Yet, when it comes to creative stuck-ness, there are deeper needs that must be dealt with to move forward – especially since creativity and self-expression are directly aligned to “being seen” and you claiming your worth.

Often, when you feel a stirring in your soul to do more creativity – a common fear that comes up is – a fear of being judged. This fear of being judged and exposed blocks you from moving forward and keeps you stuck feeling resentful and frustrated.

Although when you’re creatively stuck whether in your life, your work, or even in your relationships – you may not be able to put your finger on what the block is.

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Feeling Lost and Confused

Posted on Mar 25, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches by means of opposites so that you will have two wings to fly, not one” ~ Rumi

We all feel lost and confused about our circumstances once in a while. Where do I go? What do I do? What *should* I be doing? What’s my next step? Where is the path? Why can’t I see it???

You can apply these fearful questions to any area of your life that causes you to feel uncertainty and doubt.

For most of us, the natural reaction is to take action – any type of action – just do something! And this works – especially in the areas of your life where you feel stuck in a rut – taking any action helps.

Where this “I need to do something now!” approach doesn’t work however is when you’re looking to make a BIG, significant change in your life – one in which will align you with your life’s calling.

This type of significant, life-evolving decision requires calm, quiet and much less activity – not more of it.

Not such an easy thing to *do* especially when you’re feeling anxious, bored, doubtful – AND – watching everyone else’s lives seem to be moving right along.

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Trying To Make A Decision

Posted on Mar 4, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“Trust your own heart. It knows the right way.”

Decisions, decisions. They are certainly hard to make – especially when they pertain to really important things – key things – things that are aligned with you experiencing a brighter future.

Today I’m sharing a personal story with you that provides a beautiful example of what it looks like to make a decision from your head vs. your heart and how it can put you on a temporary detour to pursuing your life’s calling.

Years back, when I hit a wall in my corporate career, I prayed for a miracle that would show me the way out of the corporate life I was living and into a career that I loved.

I still remember the day that I found the answer to my prayer as I googled a term that brought-up a link to an upcoming workshop entitled: “How To Quit Your Job And Do What You Love”.

Not only was I excited to find the workshop, but even more excited to learn that it was being held in Maine three months to the day!

I immediately signed up.

The seminar was fantastic! It included a weekend full of insight from experts who knew their stuff about how to make the transition from working “for the man” – to – as I like to call it, working for the “Big Man/Woman” ;)

After the seminar was over, I decided to hire one of the experts for a one-hour CONSULT session. In prep for the session, I sent the expert my resume and also answered the various questions they had posed to me about the future work I was interested in pursuing.

On the day of the call I was very nervous to speak with this expert about what my future held for me. I remember feeling nervous about what they had to say to me about what I *should* do moving forward.

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Problems Reside In Panic Mode

Posted on Feb 25, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“If you yearn to make true progress in your life/work/relationships, come at all your circumstances from a place of calm, not chaos.”

One of the most common, and biggest untruths that I see in my work with people (myself included) is: “My power is outside of me”.

This belief shows up in a variety of ways depending on where you are in your life stage.

Take work for example. If you work for someone else you at one point or another, have felt that your employer/your boss has power over your well-being. That, if God forbid, you mess up or disappoint them, you’d be fired and your own sense of safety and security would be threatened.

Or say you work for yourself – you probably feel this belief even stronger – where you don’t have the consistent income (a.k.a Source) of an employer plopping money into your account every other week – and therefore feel a heavy burden of trying to figure-out where the money will come from each month.

The belief that your power lies outside of you shows up everywhere – in relationships, in life, and in work.

Being aware that this false belief exists is the KEY to feel more confident, courageous, and yes, worthy.

It’s my belief that our circumstances – each and every one of them – is a beautiful opportunity to “SEE”, as if looking into a mirror, where the growth opportunities are.

If you feel, or have ever felt, helpless and powerless and as if the circumstances of your life feel out of your control, the first place to begin is looking at the set-up of your life – exactly as it is today and seeing it, and everyone in it, as a mirror that is there to serve you and teach you.

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Feeling Worthy of Joy

Posted on Feb 11, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“”Our eyes are in front because it’s more important to look ahead than to look back. Don’t dwell on things in the past. Learn from them and keep moving forward.” ~Unknown”

Often you hear me talk about here in Note Worthy articles is the habit many of us have to unconsciously settle for the status quo.

To tolerate less than you deserve.

To stay in what you know vs. risking the unknown.

And I’ve found through first-hand experience that this is not only true when it comes to having new experiences in your life, work and relationships, but it’s really all about the feelings/emotions that go along with those experiences.

Often, many of us don’t realize that we’re stuck in neutral – not feeling much of anything because it feels safer there. No risk of feeling pain if something doesn’t work out or we fail, and also no risk of feeling joy and then losing that feeling.

Imagine your feelings are like the stick-shift on your car. Neutral is your safety zone – it’s kind of a numbed out place where you exist but you aren’t feeling fully alive.

Shifting into Drive is moving forward – keeping your focus on the future and taking steps based on what you desire, not what you fear. And, shifting into Reverse is looking back at the past and most likely feeling regret for what was or what could have been.

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Hand Over The Fear

Posted on Jan 21, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Last week, I was explaining to several people that the beautiful thing about having a deep desire to find your life’s calling through your work is: it’s a wonderful excuse and catalyst to grow and evolve spiritually, emotionally, mentally and in ALL ways!

If you think about it, many of the decisions you’ve made in the past most likely have come from what you thought you *should* do in certain areas vs. what you would have done if you didn’t have any fear. And it’s awesome when you realize that you don’t have to live by your *shoulds* but rather by what your heart is urging you to do.

Think of it this way: *should* aligns with obligation and obligation stems from feeling undeserving. Doing what you love and what would make your heart sing and bring you joy has hesitation around it too. Subconsciously you may think: Do I really deserve to feel joy with my work? Shouldn’t work be hard and a struggle? There’s that *should* again :)

Many people think its fear that holds them back from doing what they really want to do – and that is definitely part of it. But another big part of it is feeling worthy of actually being able to experiencing higher emotions on a daily basis – to be creative, to make a difference, to have an impact, to feel joyful and make others joyful.

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Not Good Enough In Stages

Posted on Jan 7, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“Your current circumstances are perfect. Your past, your present and your future are what is intended and planned for your life. Accept and embrace – it’s all good!”

When people start-out on the path of finally listening and acting upon the voice of their soul, they almost always discover a great need to spiritually awaken not only themselves, but others. It just works like that, when you feel inspired about new things you’ve learned, you naturally want to share that knowledge with others.

So the journey of self-discovery and yearning to serve others begins.

What happens often for most folks starting out on the service path, (and is what happened to me when I was starting out), is that you focus on the sharing with others and helping others piece first. You have such a desire to help and serve that you tend to repeat the pattern of focusing on the outside first, before going within.

But, the beauty of utilizing a creative aspiration such as a business to serve others is that it provides you with a mirror for all your “stuff” to show-up. You begin to see your patterns from long ago and you see where you tend to put the opinions of others in authority over your own self-worth.

And this is where many who are in the “service” field are operating – looking to the outside world to meet their unmet needs for self-worth – to feel important, worthy, special, unique, and SEEN.

This approach of course doesn’t help anyone. It doesn’t help you and it certainly doesn’t help the people that you’re serving.

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