“We teach people how to treat us. You either teach people to treat you with dignity and respect, or you don’t.” ~Dr. Phil
Last weekend I scheduled a very long over-due facial. It’s sad to think about how long it had been – perhaps 4-5 years since I’ve had one? Yikes! Yet, 2014 has been a year where I’ve committed to certain acts of self-care (massages, facials, etc.) – and have stopped defining them a luxury and made them a necessity for feeling good.
Needless to say, I was excited while I sat in the waiting area of the spa – and looking forward to receiving some much needed pampering.
The esthetician eventually came out to greet me. Immediately I felt weird in my body as the initial encounter felt odd and cold.
No warm greeting. No hand-shake. Just a simple statement: “Are you Brenda?” she said. “Yes.” I replied. Then she walked away. I assumed she expected me to follow her? I shrugged it off, got up to follow her, and turned the corner to find her joking around with the receptionist. She turned around looking annoyed, as if to remember she now needed to work, and opened the door to the back area.
I thought to myself: “This doesn’t feel right. I don’t like her energy. This isn’t what I envisioned for being pampered and able to have some serious down-time. I’m feeling stressed, uncomfortable and annoyed.”
But, once again, I shrugged it off and thought to myself that I was just over reacting. I made myself believe I was being overly sensitive and I must be imagining this whole encounter.
A very bad habit of mine has been always believing it’s me, not them.
Being an intuitive, sensitive person, I’ve been a pro at taking on other people’s “stuff” and trying to make them feel better and more comfortable. I realize now that I’ve done this because I learned from a very early-age that I needed to become who “they” wanted me to be in order to receive any morsel of love or acceptance.
Needless to say, this is a habit that I am consciously breaking – no more taking responsibility for “stuff” that isn’t mine.