Posts Tagged ‘Understand You Needs’

Needs vs. Wants

Posted on Jul 16, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

This statement about needs vs. wants , says something so groundbreaking, so fundamental to your ability to experience inner well-being that it could potentially go unnoticed.

Treating your needs as optional is something most all of us have done, or continue to do each day without even realizing it. This is a habit of self-sabotage where you may continually ignore needs that you have without even realizing that’s what you’re doing.

Without knowing that you even have needs, let alone even have the right to honor them, is what can be troubling and will, without a doubt, cause havoc in your life and your overall well-being.

If you’re someone who has loads of responsibilities on your plate – a family, work, relationships and a slew of other responsibilities and tasks that need to be taken care of, you most likely have needs that aren’t getting met in the way that would soothe your soul.


A Strong Need To Control

Posted on Jan 22, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” ~Serenity Prayer

If you’re someone who has a strong need to feel in control of your life, your circumstances, your finances, your success, your relationships, your household, other people, the weather, etc. – you are definitely not alone.

The other day I found myself in major over-thinking, analysis paralysis mode – thinking things through – and trying to know an outcome that couldn’t possibly be known, yet.

So as I sat there in my car stopped at a red light (I usually have major epiphanies in the car by the way), I noticed a car up ahead of me with the back window down and a child’s hand hanging out the window. They were waving a white tissue out the car window and simply allowing it to blow in the wind.

These mini miracles never cease to amaze me and the other day was no different. I got the message loud and clear…”Wave the white flag Brenda. Hand it over. Let it go.” Which I did and I felt much better, much more free, more joyful and calm. Come to think of it, I don’t even remember what I was ruminating about that day – and it was only two days ago!

As I’ve written in other articles unmet needs drive us – they unconsciously motivate us to take action, or, to not take action.


Protect Your Energy

Posted on May 6, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“Never allow what another does steal your joy. You have power to react any way you choose. Be conscious of protecting your positive energy.”

When you are on the conscious path and taking responsibility for how you yearn to, and deserve to, live your life – you will not only battle with your own negative thoughts and inner critic, but you’ll also have to deal with the negative thoughts and inner critics of others.

If you’ve been on the self-development path for quite some time, no doubt you’ve read about, implemented and succeeded at the power of positive thinking. It’s true, what you think about you bring about.

Yet, as with everything, there are always deeper levels to go to with the learning.

As you continue to Claim Your Worth!®, you may notice that it feels like it will get harder before it gets easier. And much of this has to do with your dealings of others who aren’t on the same conscious path as you.

This is in no way to say anyone is “better” or “more evolved” than anyone else. Rather, it simply is the Truth that we all have different roles to play here on planet earth – and everyone is reading their own life script.


Tap Into Your Real Motivations

Posted on Dec 12, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

Little by little one walks far” ~ Peruvian Proverb

Understanding what really motivates you is a process that happens in stages. And, part of that process is learning to distinguish between what it is that you want (aspire to) and what it is that you need (driven by).

I reference Unmet Needsunmet needs often as part of the Claim Your Worth!® process because understanding how needs drive you to take action (and not to take action) is fundamental to your own self-discovery and understanding of what makes you tick.

And the key factor in this is knowing when you want something to happen why it is that you want it.

Most of us don’t know why we want things – the main motivation is usually: I just want things to be different than how they are right now. If you really think about it, most of us were brought-up with the belief that we need to constantly be moving, changing, succeeding because time is running out and if we don’t keep going after the goal, then someone else will get there before you!

Can you relate?


How To Embrace Change

Posted on Sep 27, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

Be bold. Be confident. Be alive. A gallery of possibilities awaits for you when you make change your friend.” ~Bob Bone

Many people beat themselves up internally because they have a desire for change, but for whatever reason, resist the change they desire.

This shows up in your life as you go to take action on something you want to do, but then stop yourself right when you are ready to make a change. Or, when you feel paralyzed and stuck. Or you do take action, but find yourself back to your “old ways” after a few days or weeks of instituting a new habit.

What gives? Why does this happen? Why is there the inevitable dance of going two steps forward and one-step back when you want to embrace change but find yourself resisting it?

Some may tell you that it’s your fault and you’re not motivated enough. They may preach that you don’t want it badly enough. You need be stronger. You need to have more self-control. You need to have more will-power! And the list goes on and on. This approach reinforces self-loathing and a feeling of helplessness – and experiencing more of the same.

But, what if that’s not true? What if it’s not your fault? What if the reason why you resist change vs. embracing it is because you’re simply not aware that something internal is driving your decisions to stay put, stay the same, and stay stuck right where you are?


Learning To Receive

Posted on Jul 19, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

“Happiness is your nature. It is not wrong to desire it. What is wrong is seeking it outside when it is inside.” ~Sri Ramana Maharshi

A few months back I noticed a Robin was building a nest on – and around – my back-porch lamp. I’m lucky that I noticed the nest before turning the light on – and also – that my bedroom window overlooks the porch.

I was/am grateful that I had a great view of what was ready to transpire over the coming months.

As the weeks went on, the eggs hatched and I would watch as the mom and dad robins got food for the babies, non-stop, day and night.

What was fascinating about the whole process was the baby birds’ ability to be patient – and wait and trust that their parents would be back with food for them. There seemed to be an instictual agreement that – the babies only job was to 1) stay silent until Mom and/or Dad came back with the food and 2) open their mouths (and hearts) to receive the food being offered to them.

Lesson: They didn’t owe anything for the receipt of that nourishment and love.

For me, growing up, I felt very separate – and isolated. In looking back I can see that the frightening separation was due to my “sense of separation’ from The Divine (my True Source). So, I learned that – in order to try to get my needs met – and fill that inner void (especially my need for love and attention) – that I would need to go outside of myself.