Posts Tagged ‘Self Worth’

Setting Worthy Goals

Posted on Jan 1, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

Don’t aim at success – the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue… as the unintended side-effect of one’s personal dedication to a course greater than oneself.” ~Victor Frankl

This quote above is very profound and one I suggest you may want to print-out and contemplate.

And what a perfect time to contemplate what success really means to you – as we are embarking on another new year – a year full of hope, anticipation, and excitement – and another year
and chance to ‘get it right’
.

Yet, trying to be successful, or trying to ‘get it right’, can not only cause loads of pressure, tension and stress – it can also feel really unfulfilling.

Think about it – how many times have you ‘gotten the goal’, achieved something that was important to you, and celebrated it – and then felt a deep pressure and a looming anxiety to figure-out what’s next and how you’ll top what you just did?

The habit of constant ‘bar-raising’ never feels fully fulfilling because it’s about achieving goals on the outside and constantly trying to get vs. learning how to give to life so you
can feel worthy of receiving.

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Self Worth vs. Self Esteem

Posted on Aug 1, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

“When you allow yourself to let-go, success can flow!” 

Do you ever wonder what the difference is between your self-esteem and your self-worth?

Meditating with Rudraksha beads

The two are very closely aligned – like brother and sister are in the bloodline.

Yet, there is also a major distinction to be made between the two – and I’ve discovered this through loads of contemplation and study – and direct experience. So, as a disclaimer, whatever I describe below is based on my own experience and beliefs – and certainly isn’t the only way in which to view the distinction.

Your self-esteem is how you feel about yourself based on your actions. It’s what you have control over. It’s how you feel about yourself from the inside/out. Overall, are you proud of yourself for who you are, what you stand for and what actions you take and don’t take based on the values that you choose to orient your life around?

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Your self-worth, has a much more spiritual bend to it (again, my opinion) because it’s directly related to your identity, your sense of self, your overall feeling of importance and value in this world. Overall, do you feel that you deserve to be here on the earth plane and have the right to take up space – and to be happy within that space you call your life?

The major difference is: Self-esteem is geared towards doing vs. Self-worth is more about being. Both have a tremendous amount of value – and serve very different purposes in your life. They both also work beautifully together when married in their natural energies.

The Truth is: most of the teachings ‘out there’ focus on boosting your self-esteem.

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Do you ever feel this way about your self worth?

Posted on Jul 17, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

carefreewomanThis past weekend I was having a conversation with a close friend of mine. And, true to form, she and I were getting deep into conversation about life, love and everyday worthiness.

I remember at some point in our conversation I had said to her – there is a big misconception in our society that the more you DO the more you’re worth.

Have you ever stopped to think about this?

Now that you have, do you have a belief system that aligns with this?

Believing that the more you do, achieve and show what you can do to the world, the more you earn your worth and finally can receive what you want.

This earning of worth is a feeling as if you huff and puff and try harder and harder and finally, after you’ve exerted yourself, then you can feel accomplished and worthy.

Can you relate?

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Fear of Being Seen

Posted on Nov 17, 2014 | by Brenda Stanton

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when you are brave enough to explore the darkness will you discover the infinite power of our light.” ~Brené Brown

Amy Cuddy’s Ted Talk shows you how to literally take up space in the world.

I highly recommend practicing some of the postures (as she suggests in private) and accessing how you feel inside yourself.

Then, access how you’d feel outside in the world.

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The Truth About Law of Attraction

Posted on Jul 8, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“Suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens.” ~Dan Millman

We’ve all heard the New Age terms: “Appreciate the now.”, “Be in the moment”.

Great advice but hard advice to implement right? Especially when you feel that the moment, the now, isn’t how it *should* be or look.

I believe we all have discontentment – and oftentimes that discontentment can be healthy- if it’s balanced.

How discontentment becomes unhealthy is when we aren’t appreciating the moments and what is – now. As the quote above insinuates – suffering is thinking that life should look different than how it ‘is’.

Of course this is a control thing – feeling as if you need to control your outcomes, your life to look a certain way.

And this is the real crux of it all – believing that you are totally responsible for your life situation, circumstances and results.

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Fear of Making Changes

Posted on Apr 7, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

““Put your expectations on God, not on people.” ~Joyce Meyer

Many self-help teachers teach about feeling resistance and how if you’re stuck, you need to break through that stuck-ness with action.

I agree – action is powerful when it comes to getting yourself un-stuck from say – not exercising. Great advice is to – as Nike says – Just Do It!®.

Yet, when it comes to creative stuck-ness, there are deeper needs that must be dealt with to move forward – especially since creativity and self-expression are directly aligned to “being seen” and you claiming your worth.

Often, when you feel a stirring in your soul to do more creativity – a common fear that comes up is – a fear of being judged. This fear of being judged and exposed blocks you from moving forward and keeps you stuck feeling resentful and frustrated.

Although when you’re creatively stuck whether in your life, your work, or even in your relationships – you may not be able to put your finger on what the block is.

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Feeling Lost and Confused

Posted on Mar 25, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches by means of opposites so that you will have two wings to fly, not one” ~ Rumi

We all feel lost and confused about our circumstances once in a while. Where do I go? What do I do? What *should* I be doing? What’s my next step? Where is the path? Why can’t I see it???

You can apply these fearful questions to any area of your life that causes you to feel uncertainty and doubt.

For most of us, the natural reaction is to take action – any type of action – just do something! And this works – especially in the areas of your life where you feel stuck in a rut – taking any action helps.

Where this “I need to do something now!” approach doesn’t work however is when you’re looking to make a BIG, significant change in your life – one in which will align you with your life’s calling.

This type of significant, life-evolving decision requires calm, quiet and much less activity – not more of it.

Not such an easy thing to *do* especially when you’re feeling anxious, bored, doubtful – AND – watching everyone else’s lives seem to be moving right along.

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Problems Reside In Panic Mode

Posted on Feb 25, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“If you yearn to make true progress in your life/work/relationships, come at all your circumstances from a place of calm, not chaos.”

One of the most common, and biggest untruths that I see in my work with people (myself included) is: “My power is outside of me”.

This belief shows up in a variety of ways depending on where you are in your life stage.

Take work for example. If you work for someone else you at one point or another, have felt that your employer/your boss has power over your well-being. That, if God forbid, you mess up or disappoint them, you’d be fired and your own sense of safety and security would be threatened.

Or say you work for yourself – you probably feel this belief even stronger – where you don’t have the consistent income (a.k.a Source) of an employer plopping money into your account every other week – and therefore feel a heavy burden of trying to figure-out where the money will come from each month.

The belief that your power lies outside of you shows up everywhere – in relationships, in life, and in work.

Being aware that this false belief exists is the KEY to feel more confident, courageous, and yes, worthy.

It’s my belief that our circumstances – each and every one of them – is a beautiful opportunity to “SEE”, as if looking into a mirror, where the growth opportunities are.

If you feel, or have ever felt, helpless and powerless and as if the circumstances of your life feel out of your control, the first place to begin is looking at the set-up of your life – exactly as it is today and seeing it, and everyone in it, as a mirror that is there to serve you and teach you.

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Feeling Worthy of Joy

Posted on Feb 11, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“”Our eyes are in front because it’s more important to look ahead than to look back. Don’t dwell on things in the past. Learn from them and keep moving forward.” ~Unknown”

Often you hear me talk about here in Note Worthy articles is the habit many of us have to unconsciously settle for the status quo.

To tolerate less than you deserve.

To stay in what you know vs. risking the unknown.

And I’ve found through first-hand experience that this is not only true when it comes to having new experiences in your life, work and relationships, but it’s really all about the feelings/emotions that go along with those experiences.

Often, many of us don’t realize that we’re stuck in neutral – not feeling much of anything because it feels safer there. No risk of feeling pain if something doesn’t work out or we fail, and also no risk of feeling joy and then losing that feeling.

Imagine your feelings are like the stick-shift on your car. Neutral is your safety zone – it’s kind of a numbed out place where you exist but you aren’t feeling fully alive.

Shifting into Drive is moving forward – keeping your focus on the future and taking steps based on what you desire, not what you fear. And, shifting into Reverse is looking back at the past and most likely feeling regret for what was or what could have been.

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Hand Over The Fear

Posted on Jan 21, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Last week, I was explaining to several people that the beautiful thing about having a deep desire to find your life’s calling through your work is: it’s a wonderful excuse and catalyst to grow and evolve spiritually, emotionally, mentally and in ALL ways!

If you think about it, many of the decisions you’ve made in the past most likely have come from what you thought you *should* do in certain areas vs. what you would have done if you didn’t have any fear. And it’s awesome when you realize that you don’t have to live by your *shoulds* but rather by what your heart is urging you to do.

Think of it this way: *should* aligns with obligation and obligation stems from feeling undeserving. Doing what you love and what would make your heart sing and bring you joy has hesitation around it too. Subconsciously you may think: Do I really deserve to feel joy with my work? Shouldn’t work be hard and a struggle? There’s that *should* again :)

Many people think its fear that holds them back from doing what they really want to do – and that is definitely part of it. But another big part of it is feeling worthy of actually being able to experiencing higher emotions on a daily basis – to be creative, to make a difference, to have an impact, to feel joyful and make others joyful.

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