Posts Tagged ‘Pursuit For More’

Approval Addiction

Posted on Jun 4, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

“Endearment is a choice; people pleasing is based on need” ~Thomas Leonard

Approval addiction is a real thing – and oftentimes, it remains something you’re unaware of until you find yourself in a situation where you are giving to another the authority to make you feel  less than when they don’t react in the way you expect, or want them to.  

Maybe you’re in a job and have found yourself feeling resentful and stuck because no matter how hard you try, how hard and long you work, no matter what you do, it’s never enough for your boss.

Or, maybe you dream of sharing your voice with others and sharing your knowledge and expertise – but every time you go to put pen to paper, or think about booking a workshop to teach what you know – you freeze and worry about “What will they think of me?”

This is where the key to having a strong relationship with Yourself comes in play – where you give Yourself permission to do what you want to do from a soul-directed place vs. being motivated to please and gain approval from others – and to prove your worth, vs. claim it. 

One road keeps you stuck. The other road sets you free.

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Fear of Time Running Out

Posted on Feb 19, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

“Man alone measures time. Man alone chimes the hour. And because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures: A fear of time running out.” ~Mitch Albom

Being a creative soul means that you’re more impatient than most.

You most likely walk around on a daily basis feeling an unrelenting feeling of anxiousness – a feeling that, no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to put your finger on what is causing it.

You feel impatient, but why? Why do you
feel as if time keeps passing by and you aren’t comfortable with it?

If you go deeper into the impatience and anxiousness, you’ll most likely find a fear – the fear of time running out before you realize your full potential.

The fear of time running out is a common one – and especially if you’re someone who knows you have a ton of creative potential to realize and express in this lifetime.

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A Strong Need To Control

Posted on Jan 22, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” ~Serenity Prayer

If you’re someone who has a strong need to feel in control of your life, your circumstances, your finances, your success, your relationships, your household, other people, the weather, etc. – you are definitely not alone.

The other day I found myself in major over-thinking, analysis paralysis mode – thinking things through – and trying to know an outcome that couldn’t possibly be known, yet.

So as I sat there in my car stopped at a red light (I usually have major epiphanies in the car by the way), I noticed a car up ahead of me with the back window down and a child’s hand hanging out the window. They were waving a white tissue out the car window and simply allowing it to blow in the wind.

These mini miracles never cease to amaze me and the other day was no different. I got the message loud and clear…”Wave the white flag Brenda. Hand it over. Let it go.” Which I did and I felt much better, much more free, more joyful and calm. Come to think of it, I don’t even remember what I was ruminating about that day – and it was only two days ago!

As I’ve written in other articles unmet needs drive us – they unconsciously motivate us to take action, or, to not take action.

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Power of A Vision

Posted on Apr 28, 2014 | by Brenda Stanton

“Having a vision for your life allows you to live out of hope, rather than out of your fears.” ~ Stedman Graham

Lately I’ve been finding myself talking more and more about the fact that having clarity on what it is that you really, really want, is extremely underrated.

It’s interesting to see the resistance that crops up when I encourage clients to start with the end in mind – to step back, take some time out, and get clear on what it is that they would really like to see happen – BEFORE we begin to put the action pieces in place.

At first glance, I used to think that the resistance that folks have to the visioning process had to do with them just wanting to get started with the action pieces because they value feeling productive above anything else.

And even though the need to feel productive still tends to trump the creative process of visioning, I’ve found another reason folks resist the visioning process – and this reason boils down to plain ol’ FEAR & Self-Doubt

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Rolling with Life’s Punches

Posted on Nov 14, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“When a poet digs himself into a hole, he doesn’t climb out. He digs deeper, enjoys the scenery, and comes out the other side enlightened.” ~Criss Jami

The above quote is very true.

If we could only look at life’s challenges this way – that eventually they contribute to our art (and heart) and that we all come out the other side of them stronger and more enlightened.

When life throws you punches, do you have this perspective?

It’s not easy to have this perspective at the time – especially when you’re in “the hole” as Criss describes in his quote.

So the question remains, what do you do when life throws you punches? Retract or get stronger?

I have a hunch that you make yourself stronger. That you discover what you’re made of. That you learn how truly resilient that you are. And….you realize that you truly do have a Higher Self that is guiding you – you just need to learn to lean on your Higher Self to get you through.

Leaning on anyone or anything is hard enough to do in general everyday life for us women (and men) who are used to being General Managers of the Universe ;) – but is especially hard when you’ve been thrown a big punch by life….

Lately I’ve been thrown a few unexpected punches and this year has proved to be a very challenging one.

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Protect Your Energy

Posted on May 6, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“Never allow what another does steal your joy. You have power to react any way you choose. Be conscious of protecting your positive energy.”

When you are on the conscious path and taking responsibility for how you yearn to, and deserve to, live your life – you will not only battle with your own negative thoughts and inner critic, but you’ll also have to deal with the negative thoughts and inner critics of others.

If you’ve been on the self-development path for quite some time, no doubt you’ve read about, implemented and succeeded at the power of positive thinking. It’s true, what you think about you bring about.

Yet, as with everything, there are always deeper levels to go to with the learning.

As you continue to Claim Your Worth!®, you may notice that it feels like it will get harder before it gets easier. And much of this has to do with your dealings of others who aren’t on the same conscious path as you.

This is in no way to say anyone is “better” or “more evolved” than anyone else. Rather, it simply is the Truth that we all have different roles to play here on planet earth – and everyone is reading their own life script.

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Wanting More For Your Life

Posted on Apr 15, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

A guilty conscience needs to confess. A work of art is a confession. ~Albert Camus

During a coaching call last week, a client asked a fundamental question that I think at one point or another we’ve all asked ourselves– consciously or unconsciously – Is it bad to want that?

Essentially what my client was asking is: Is it bad to want MORE? More joy, more beauty, more meaning, more experiences? More expansion?

What’s perplexing is– there are some folks who feel guilty and wrong for wanting and craving more and then others who don’t feel guilty about wanting or craving more.

The question remains – why do some have no issue with not only wanting, but having more, and others who feel bad, guilty or unable to manifest MORE?

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Feeling Worthy of Joy

Posted on Feb 11, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“”Our eyes are in front because it’s more important to look ahead than to look back. Don’t dwell on things in the past. Learn from them and keep moving forward.” ~Unknown”

Often you hear me talk about here in Note Worthy articles is the habit many of us have to unconsciously settle for the status quo.

To tolerate less than you deserve.

To stay in what you know vs. risking the unknown.

And I’ve found through first-hand experience that this is not only true when it comes to having new experiences in your life, work and relationships, but it’s really all about the feelings/emotions that go along with those experiences.

Often, many of us don’t realize that we’re stuck in neutral – not feeling much of anything because it feels safer there. No risk of feeling pain if something doesn’t work out or we fail, and also no risk of feeling joy and then losing that feeling.

Imagine your feelings are like the stick-shift on your car. Neutral is your safety zone – it’s kind of a numbed out place where you exist but you aren’t feeling fully alive.

Shifting into Drive is moving forward – keeping your focus on the future and taking steps based on what you desire, not what you fear. And, shifting into Reverse is looking back at the past and most likely feeling regret for what was or what could have been.

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Have More Confidence

Posted on Dec 3, 2012 | by Brenda Stanton

“We give our power away when we become concerned with other people’s opinions. To recapture this power, remember that this is your life. Take back your power.” ~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

The above quote speaks to a term that I’m sure you’ve heard in your own travels about giving your power away. I’ve had clients ask me: what does that truly mean to give your power away? What is your power anyway?

Great question!

Your power is your sense of self. It’s your definition of who you think you are – who you know yourself to be. What you believe you’re capable of and what you believe you’re worthy of. Your power is your self-worth.

We’ve been taught to hand our sense of self over to the outside world. To believe that others opinions define us. Or, that material possessions or worldly success can give a sense of self – some validation that we’ve made it, that we’re whole, and that somehow, the outer world can fulfill us.

Relying on the outside world for any sense of self-worth is not only fleeting and totally temporary, but it’s also extremely risky and absolutely draining.

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Setting Clear Intentions

Posted on Nov 19, 2012 | by Brenda Stanton

“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.” ~ Confucius

Let’s imagine that together you and I worked on creating some intentions for all areas of your life. In our process together, I would have you start with what it is that you deeply desire but rather than focus on the specifics around the desire, I would rather have you focus on the ESSENCE of your desire.

My favorite definition of the word essence is: the characteristic or intrinsic feature of a thing, which determines its identity; fundamental nature.

If you think about that – the fundamental nature – the identity – of something…you really get down to the CORE and the Truth of whatever it is that you desire.

And what’s so cool about setting intentions via the coaching process is: when we delve into, and extract out the very essence of what you’re desiring in ALL areas of your life, you then begin to realize what’s already there within your life experience currently.

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