Posts Tagged ‘Needs vs Wants’

Needs vs. Wants

Posted on Jul 16, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

This statement about needs vs. wants , says something so groundbreaking, so fundamental to your ability to experience inner well-being that it could potentially go unnoticed.

Treating your needs as optional is something most all of us have done, or continue to do each day without even realizing it. This is a habit of self-sabotage where you may continually ignore needs that you have without even realizing that’s what you’re doing.

Without knowing that you even have needs, let alone even have the right to honor them, is what can be troubling and will, without a doubt, cause havoc in your life and your overall well-being.

If you’re someone who has loads of responsibilities on your plate – a family, work, relationships and a slew of other responsibilities and tasks that need to be taken care of, you most likely have needs that aren’t getting met in the way that would soothe your soul.


Knowing What You Really Want

Posted on Aug 15, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

“In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

Personally, I think clarity is very underrated and de-valued – and too much attention is put on action and getting things done.

What I’ve found to be true in my own life, and in the lives of the clients I work with, that when you feel a strong pull – a desperation – to get to a goal- or a finish line – usually it’s because there is an unmet need that hasn’t been fulfilled or paid attention to – vs. a value that is aching to be continually expressed.

In this article I wrote about the difference between Needs vs. Wants – and it’s a very, very important distinction.

However, our society as a whole (generalizing here!) is focused on do, do, do and hasn’t given enough time and thought to be, be, be. And to allowing your soul to guide you vs. your head.

The key distinction is: Your head wants you to chase the cheese and beat-out others, wheras your heart yearns for you to make a contribution in the lives of others as well as your own.

Now, I am a very impatient woman – and I think that was a gift given to me by God so I can get things done. Yet, I also feel that learning to be patient and trusting the Universe to provide in Divine Timing – is one of my greatest lessons in this lifetime.

Can you relate?


Learning To Receive

Posted on Jul 19, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

“Happiness is your nature. It is not wrong to desire it. What is wrong is seeking it outside when it is inside.” ~Sri Ramana Maharshi

A few months back I noticed a Robin was building a nest on – and around – my back-porch lamp. I’m lucky that I noticed the nest before turning the light on – and also – that my bedroom window overlooks the porch.

I was/am grateful that I had a great view of what was ready to transpire over the coming months.

As the weeks went on, the eggs hatched and I would watch as the mom and dad robins got food for the babies, non-stop, day and night.

What was fascinating about the whole process was the baby birds’ ability to be patient – and wait and trust that their parents would be back with food for them. There seemed to be an instictual agreement that – the babies only job was to 1) stay silent until Mom and/or Dad came back with the food and 2) open their mouths (and hearts) to receive the food being offered to them.

Lesson: They didn’t owe anything for the receipt of that nourishment and love.

For me, growing up, I felt very separate – and isolated. In looking back I can see that the frightening separation was due to my “sense of separation’ from The Divine (my True Source). So, I learned that – in order to try to get my needs met – and fill that inner void (especially my need for love and attention) – that I would need to go outside of myself.


A SELF Sabotage Story

Posted on Jul 11, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

“Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn’t happen.” ~ Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby

Last week’s article – was a popular one with many of you.

I’m so glad that a platform such as the Oprah Show and the network OWN allows me to show you how others – especially well known women – who you may think “have it “ALL”, struggle with self-worth and most importantly – feeling worthy of living a happy, joyful, creative, meaningful, successful, abundant life.

Take for example a well known, amazing author and teacher – Iyanla Vanzant – whom recently returned to the Oprah show after she and Oprah had a falling out. For years Iyanla was a guest on the show. Every other week, Oprah would give her the stage and allow her to counsel and teach the audience on the subject of relationships.

Iyanla was extremely effective and popular, and eventually caught the eye of another network who invited her to dinner with Barbara Walters. The purpose of the dinner was to discuss the potential for Iyanla to do her own show on that network.

Due to Iyanla’s loyalty to Harpo Productions, and her personal respect for Oprah, Iyanla turned the offer down; However, the idea of having her own show intrigued her and she felt in her soul it was time for that to happen.

Before reading on, please watch this video to see where a huge mis-understanding between Oprah and Iyanla came about when Iyanla approached the Harpo team about having her own show.


The Cost of Settlin’

Posted on May 2, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

“Every day, people settle for less than they deserve. They are only partially living or at best living a partial life. Every human being has the potential for greatness.” ~Bo Bennett

In last week’s article I gave you some Worth Work which included taking inventory of things, places, people, etc. that are causing you grief and draining your precious life-energy.

After looking at your list of tolerations, I also encouraged you to take action on one thing that you know will force you to grow and evolve and further expand into your Truest Self.

If you took action on at least one thing, congratulations! You’re most likely feeling lighter, courageous and uber confident – and ready to tackle more opportunities for you to Claim Your Worth!®

And, if you didn’t take action, but did take inventory of your tolerations, then congrats too! Documenting what you’re tolerating, is a big step in moving you forward – and becoming aware (on paper) of what you yearn to change – is a step in the right direction.

If you’re having a challenge with coming up with actual tolerations – here is a hint. Give yourself an allotted amount of time to document things that you’re tolerating and maybe give yourself a goal of writing down at least 30 things.