Posts Tagged ‘Meaningful Life’

Setting Worthy Goals

Posted on Jan 1, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

Don’t aim at success – the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue… as the unintended side-effect of one’s personal dedication to a course greater than oneself.” ~Victor Frankl

This quote above is very profound and one I suggest you may want to print-out and contemplate.

And what a perfect time to contemplate what success really means to you – as we are embarking on another new year – a year full of hope, anticipation, and excitement – and another year
and chance to ‘get it right’
.

Yet, trying to be successful, or trying to ‘get it right’, can not only cause loads of pressure, tension and stress – it can also feel really unfulfilling.

Think about it – how many times have you ‘gotten the goal’, achieved something that was important to you, and celebrated it – and then felt a deep pressure and a looming anxiety to figure-out what’s next and how you’ll top what you just did?

The habit of constant ‘bar-raising’ never feels fully fulfilling because it’s about achieving goals on the outside and constantly trying to get vs. learning how to give to life so you
can feel worthy of receiving.

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Do you ever feel this way about your self worth?

Posted on Jul 17, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

carefreewomanThis past weekend I was having a conversation with a close friend of mine. And, true to form, she and I were getting deep into conversation about life, love and everyday worthiness.

I remember at some point in our conversation I had said to her – there is a big misconception in our society that the more you DO the more you’re worth.

Have you ever stopped to think about this?

Now that you have, do you have a belief system that aligns with this?

Believing that the more you do, achieve and show what you can do to the world, the more you earn your worth and finally can receive what you want.

This earning of worth is a feeling as if you huff and puff and try harder and harder and finally, after you’ve exerted yourself, then you can feel accomplished and worthy.

Can you relate?

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Power of A Vision

Posted on Apr 28, 2014 | by Brenda Stanton

“Having a vision for your life allows you to live out of hope, rather than out of your fears.” ~ Stedman Graham

Lately I’ve been finding myself talking more and more about the fact that having clarity on what it is that you really, really want, is extremely underrated.

It’s interesting to see the resistance that crops up when I encourage clients to start with the end in mind – to step back, take some time out, and get clear on what it is that they would really like to see happen – BEFORE we begin to put the action pieces in place.

At first glance, I used to think that the resistance that folks have to the visioning process had to do with them just wanting to get started with the action pieces because they value feeling productive above anything else.

And even though the need to feel productive still tends to trump the creative process of visioning, I’ve found another reason folks resist the visioning process – and this reason boils down to plain ol’ FEAR & Self-Doubt

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The Secret To Change

Posted on Oct 28, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”
~ Carl Bard

The hardest thing that I’ve found for all of us to continually learn is: realizing what you can control and what you can’t. At the end of the day, I believe it always comes back full-circle to the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

I always take a deep breath of relief when I recite this prayer to myself, especially when life feels out of control and I feel powerless to change the circumstances.

I recently saw a commercial where the message said: Coping Isn’t Controlling. At first I didn’t think much about it, but then it struck me, it’s true!

When you’re in a trial, or simply trying to understand what’s next for you – and you’re trying to cope with “what is” when “what is” isn’t what you want, the natural tendency is to want to control circumstances and get them to change.

But what if, the secret to change is to know what you have control over and what you don’t. What if there were a way to know what you can control and what you can’t.

Often without even realizing it, we all feel powerless to change anything at times. Life gets very shaky and the future feels incredibly uncertain.

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Creating A Fresh Start

Posted on Jul 22, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“Your soul holds the pen for how you deeply yearn for your life to look and how you want your time to feel.”

It’s true. Your soul hold the pen for not only what you yearn to *have* in your life, but more importantly, how you want your time to *feel*.

If we delve deeper into why we want certain things to happen, it’s for the experience, not necessarily the “thing”.

Things are nice but I believe experiences are better.

As I mentioned in last week’s article: The Law of Attraction’s Underbelly, your soul is truly the one in control. Our soul agreed to have certain experiences in this life to grow and evolve – and more times than not – those experiences can choose to be challenging.

Yet, this doesn’t mean that you are completely powerless. Far from it. Your soul speaks to you each day and gives you intuitive nudges to move you in the direction it wishes to go.

What needs to be realized is: what resistance do you feel to trusting your intuition when you’ve been taught to value, honor, and worship your mind?

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Trying To Make A Decision

Posted on Mar 4, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“Trust your own heart. It knows the right way.”

Decisions, decisions. They are certainly hard to make – especially when they pertain to really important things – key things – things that are aligned with you experiencing a brighter future.

Today I’m sharing a personal story with you that provides a beautiful example of what it looks like to make a decision from your head vs. your heart and how it can put you on a temporary detour to pursuing your life’s calling.

Years back, when I hit a wall in my corporate career, I prayed for a miracle that would show me the way out of the corporate life I was living and into a career that I loved.

I still remember the day that I found the answer to my prayer as I googled a term that brought-up a link to an upcoming workshop entitled: “How To Quit Your Job And Do What You Love”.

Not only was I excited to find the workshop, but even more excited to learn that it was being held in Maine three months to the day!

I immediately signed up.

The seminar was fantastic! It included a weekend full of insight from experts who knew their stuff about how to make the transition from working “for the man” – to – as I like to call it, working for the “Big Man/Woman” ;)

After the seminar was over, I decided to hire one of the experts for a one-hour CONSULT session. In prep for the session, I sent the expert my resume and also answered the various questions they had posed to me about the future work I was interested in pursuing.

On the day of the call I was very nervous to speak with this expert about what my future held for me. I remember feeling nervous about what they had to say to me about what I *should* do moving forward.

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Hand Over The Fear

Posted on Jan 21, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Last week, I was explaining to several people that the beautiful thing about having a deep desire to find your life’s calling through your work is: it’s a wonderful excuse and catalyst to grow and evolve spiritually, emotionally, mentally and in ALL ways!

If you think about it, many of the decisions you’ve made in the past most likely have come from what you thought you *should* do in certain areas vs. what you would have done if you didn’t have any fear. And it’s awesome when you realize that you don’t have to live by your *shoulds* but rather by what your heart is urging you to do.

Think of it this way: *should* aligns with obligation and obligation stems from feeling undeserving. Doing what you love and what would make your heart sing and bring you joy has hesitation around it too. Subconsciously you may think: Do I really deserve to feel joy with my work? Shouldn’t work be hard and a struggle? There’s that *should* again :)

Many people think its fear that holds them back from doing what they really want to do – and that is definitely part of it. But another big part of it is feeling worthy of actually being able to experiencing higher emotions on a daily basis – to be creative, to make a difference, to have an impact, to feel joyful and make others joyful.

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Setting Clear Intentions

Posted on Nov 19, 2012 | by Brenda Stanton

“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.” ~ Confucius

Let’s imagine that together you and I worked on creating some intentions for all areas of your life. In our process together, I would have you start with what it is that you deeply desire but rather than focus on the specifics around the desire, I would rather have you focus on the ESSENCE of your desire.

My favorite definition of the word essence is: the characteristic or intrinsic feature of a thing, which determines its identity; fundamental nature.

If you think about that – the fundamental nature – the identity – of something…you really get down to the CORE and the Truth of whatever it is that you desire.

And what’s so cool about setting intentions via the coaching process is: when we delve into, and extract out the very essence of what you’re desiring in ALL areas of your life, you then begin to realize what’s already there within your life experience currently.

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Breaking This Common Habit

Posted on Oct 9, 2012 | by Brenda Stanton

“Loving yourself involves the discovery of the true wonder of you; not only the present you, but the many possibilities of you. It involves the continual realization that you are unique, like no other person in the world, that life is, or should be, the discovery, the development and the sharing of this uniqueness.” ~Leo F. Buscaglia

Last week, in one of my coaching sessions, I had given my client some homework to gain more clarity on a VISION that she’s been struggling to define.

To do her homework most authentically and effectively, I made sure to encourage her to go somewhere quiet and private that would allow her to go within to seek the answers and clarity she needs.

When we kicked off our coaching call, I was excited to hear the enthusiasm in her voice. She explained that initially she didn’t give herself quiet time or any privacy to do the homework. In fact, she went to Starbucks and found herself people watching for over 3 hours!

Yet, what she explained next was absolutely profound.

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Living Authentically

Posted on May 1, 2012 | by Brenda Stanton

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs

In order to live the life you were designed to live , it’s critical to understand yourself at the deepest level.

Recently I read a passage by the author Pamela Field in her book: A Woman Who Dreams Herself that: “We have two lives that run parallel with each other: the life we’ve inherited, and the life our Higher Self (a.k.a. our soul) has planned for us. And, at any moment, we can decide to change tracks.”

Have you ever thought of it that way? That there is the life that was passed onto you without any conscious choice – and then there is the life that is imbedded deep within your soul – like a blueprint – that has the plans on where YOU are meant to go and what you’re meant to do.

As I mentioned in the previous article: Carried Shame and Worthiness, oftentimes we don’t realize that if you’re stuck, or feeling a certain way about yourself, or doubting your abilities, etc. – it’s oftentimes a result of you holding onto someone else’s “stuff” and you holding onto shame that wasn’t yours to begin with.

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