Posts Tagged ‘Fulfillment’

Needs vs. Wants

Posted on Jul 16, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

This statement about needs vs. wants , says something so groundbreaking, so fundamental to your ability to experience inner well-being that it could potentially go unnoticed.

Treating your needs as optional is something most all of us have done, or continue to do each day without even realizing it. This is a habit of self-sabotage where you may continually ignore needs that you have without even realizing that’s what you’re doing.

Without knowing that you even have needs, let alone even have the right to honor them, is what can be troubling and will, without a doubt, cause havoc in your life and your overall well-being.

If you’re someone who has loads of responsibilities on your plate – a family, work, relationships and a slew of other responsibilities and tasks that need to be taken care of, you most likely have needs that aren’t getting met in the way that would soothe your soul.


Become More Abundant

Posted on Nov 12, 2012 | by Brenda Stanton

“Whatever we are waiting for – peace of mind, contentment, grace, the inner awareness of simple abundance – it will surely come to us, but only when we are ready to receive it with an open and grateful heart.” ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

Abundance is a popular topic within the self-help/self-improvement field. You may have, long ago, started your journey with learning about the “Law of Attraction” and how others were utilizing the powers of the Universe to have MORE in their lives.

Yet, to me, abundance isn’t about acquiring more stuff – although more stuff can be a part of it.

No, abundance to me is a direct correlation to your relationship with Self – and you knowing that you’re worthy. Period.

True abundance is about knowing that you’re already enough without having to do anything to prove it. Being able to simply accept and claim your worth without having to pay a due, or make a huge sacrifice in order to do so.

As I wrote about here, your self-worth isn’t the same thing as your self-esteem. And abundance is about self-worth.

You know that you can do stuff, acquire more stuff, and achieve things – and in order to do so, you may have had to make a huge sacrifice or dislike what you did in order to have and experience MORE.

But knowing that you’re worthy of abundance without the sacrifice, the pain, and the drudgery – well, that’s the life lesson we’re all here to learn.


From Ambition To Meaning

Posted on Jan 24, 2012 | by Brenda Stanton

“The sole meaning of life is to serve humanity.” ~Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy

The other morning, during a conversation with a friend, the topic of ambition and the continual chase for more had come up.

My friend was discussing the fact that the continual climb to be better, to achieve goals, and to continually raise the bar, wasn’t working anymore in terms of giving them that fulfilled feeling they normally had experienced.

The conversation reminded me of a Wayne Dyer movie I had watched a few years back:
The Shift. The movie is all about The Shift we all experience where we go from living a life that is all about ambition and succeeding to graduating into a more purposeful life.

In the movie, Wayne explains that The Shift is usually preceded from a “quantum moment” – a moment where we realize there is not only MORE to life – but more to us and what we’re here to contribute.

This is the type of Shift that I see everyday in my work with clients.


Learning To Receive

Posted on Jul 19, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

“Happiness is your nature. It is not wrong to desire it. What is wrong is seeking it outside when it is inside.” ~Sri Ramana Maharshi

A few months back I noticed a Robin was building a nest on – and around – my back-porch lamp. I’m lucky that I noticed the nest before turning the light on – and also – that my bedroom window overlooks the porch.

I was/am grateful that I had a great view of what was ready to transpire over the coming months.

As the weeks went on, the eggs hatched and I would watch as the mom and dad robins got food for the babies, non-stop, day and night.

What was fascinating about the whole process was the baby birds’ ability to be patient – and wait and trust that their parents would be back with food for them. There seemed to be an instictual agreement that – the babies only job was to 1) stay silent until Mom and/or Dad came back with the food and 2) open their mouths (and hearts) to receive the food being offered to them.

Lesson: They didn’t owe anything for the receipt of that nourishment and love.

For me, growing up, I felt very separate – and isolated. In looking back I can see that the frightening separation was due to my “sense of separation’ from The Divine (my True Source). So, I learned that – in order to try to get my needs met – and fill that inner void (especially my need for love and attention) – that I would need to go outside of myself.


Re-Capture A Lost Dream

Posted on Jun 6, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

I remember when I started out on the self-discovery journey years back – I didn’t even know I had a passion or a dream. Honestly, I was so burnt-out and disillusioned with working myself into a ‘wall of success’ in Corporate America, that all I dreamed of doing was selling all my stuff, moving across the country, and running away from it ‘all’!

Fast forward many years later and I still (sometimes) have visions of running away from it all – and experiencing my own version of Eat, Pray, Love. Yet, those visions aren’t as frequent because I don’t feel so desperate for such a big change to happen.

What shifted is, I have a much, much stronger and deeper relationship with my Self.

I stopped trying to run away from what I didn’t like and made the commitment to face what was in front of me, right where I was.

I also realized that no matter how far away you run, or how many dreams you chase – in the end – you can’t run away from yourself and any discontent, anxiety and void that you feel on the inside. You need to face it- and there are major gifts within when you do!

I jokingly said to a friend the other day on the phone: “No matter where you go, there you are! You can’t even go to the bathroom without yourself ;)”

See, we can have a relationship with ourselves – our mini-me’s – who keep wanting, striving, and feeling as if there is a void – and that something is wrong – and that things shouldn’t be the way they are – and that life should be different – and that you should be so much further along, etc. etc. etc.


A Common Challenge

Posted on May 16, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

When you’re facing a dilemma or a challenge – or feel like you aren’t sure which way to turn in your life, work or relationships – it can feel daunting to know who or what to Trust.

When you look to make the “right” decision, self-doubt can begin to creep in. Worry can get the best of you. And, isolation and trying to solve the issue on your own – can put you into a tail-spin of chasing your tail!

What’s a gal to do when you aren’t sure which way to go – or what decision to make – or if you should leap or take that chance/risk you’re contemplating?

My answer to clients is always to: Go inside. Get quiet. Learn to trust the quiet, encouraging, compassionate voice of your soul.

Basic advice right?

You may have heard it before – or read it in a book – or heard it at a seminar. Maybe you’ve even tried it yourself – and found that it may work for other folks, but it doesn’t work for you. Your monkey mind – and inner critic – inevitably win out and get the best of you.

I get it.


Rising Up & Not Settlin’

Posted on Apr 25, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

“I ain’t settling for just getting by. I’ve had enough so so for the rest of my life.Tired of shooting too low, so raise the bar high Just enough ain’t enough this time.
I ain’t settling for anything less than everything!” ~Lyrics from Ain’t Settlin, Sugarland

Last week during several client calls I found myself using the term: “Not Settling”. Whether it was describing a client who was in a place where she knows she’s tolerating a personal situation that she’s clearly grown out of.

Or, another client whose feeling a little unsettled as she contemplates not settling when it comes to what she really yearns to do professionally – but feels as if she may not be qualified “enough” to actually do it!

How many times have you felt like your heart and soul have urged you to explore the MORE within – yet a part of you crops up to remind you to: “Don’t even think about it sister, it’s not meant for you, stay where you are, you’re safer here.”


Someday When Syndrome

Posted on Apr 4, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

“It is good to appreciate that life is now. Whatever it offers, little or much, life is now
– this day – this hour.” ~Charles Macomb Flandrau

“Someday when my prince comes then I’ll feel whole and happy”

“Someday when I get on Oprah, then I’ll have succeeded”

“Someday when I publish the book, this is when the business will really take off”.

Can you relate with these thoughts? If you’re like most of us, you can simply fill in the blank to “Someday when” and have your own projection into the future.

In my work with clients, one of my many jobs is to being a collaborative visionary. A person who walks the path with my you – and helps you see things yourself that you may have never been able to see on your own.

At the same time, I’m also tasked with ensuring that you see that, even though we spend lots of time creative visioning, and getting lots of clarity about what your soul is pulling you towards in every area of your life, that we also don’t fall into the “Someday when” fantasy trap.

The “Someday when” trap is a common one. It’s a feeling that we aren’t happy or fulfilled now and we’ll only be happy when something outside ourselves shifts, or until we obtain something in particular.