Posts Tagged ‘Fitting In’

Breaking This Common Habit

Posted on Oct 9, 2012 | by Brenda Stanton

“Loving yourself involves the discovery of the true wonder of you; not only the present you, but the many possibilities of you. It involves the continual realization that you are unique, like no other person in the world, that life is, or should be, the discovery, the development and the sharing of this uniqueness.” ~Leo F. Buscaglia

Last week, in one of my coaching sessions, I had given my client some homework to gain more clarity on a VISION that she’s been struggling to define.

To do her homework most authentically and effectively, I made sure to encourage her to go somewhere quiet and private that would allow her to go within to seek the answers and clarity she needs.

When we kicked off our coaching call, I was excited to hear the enthusiasm in her voice. She explained that initially she didn’t give herself quiet time or any privacy to do the homework. In fact, she went to Starbucks and found herself people watching for over 3 hours!

Yet, what she explained next was absolutely profound.


Feeling Less Than Others

Posted on May 8, 2012 | by Brenda Stanton

“Women are still in emotional bondage as long as we need to worry that we might have to make a choice between being heard and being loved.” ~Marianne Williamson

The common denominator in my work with clients is the consistent theme and pattern that I see with women who yearn to have a voice in the world – to do great work – to be more seen and heard, and to make a difference – yet in their quest to expand and evolve and become more creatively self expressed, there is a holdback – a limit – a fear.

And, after some deeper inquiry, this hold-back boils down to a fear of not wanting to be seen as: bold, full of themselves, arrogant, and conceited.

Therefore, any attempt at any Authentic Self creative expression and forward movement, gets trumped and blocked because – as Marianne Williamson says in the statement above – we feel our lives are an either/or choice – that we must sacrifice one area in order to experience happiness in another.

This is not true but it feels true for many.


Beauty of Black Sheep

Posted on Mar 13, 2012 | by Brenda Stanton

Last Wednesday morning, I hit the highway to drop off my laptop to get some repairs.  As I sat in the early morning traffic, my mind was flooded with memories from my former corporate days.

As I looked ahead of me at all the traffic, I remembered all the mornings, and evenings, I’d spent in sitting in my car- feeling like I wasting my life away.

I always remember looking around – trying to catch the eye of other people in their cars – wondering if they were thinking what I was:  “What are we all following each other to?  What are we chasing?”

When I was in corporate I always felt like an outcast. Come to think of it, my whole life I felt like an outcast – a black sheep – someone who always got into trouble for drawing outside the lines, not fitting into a mold, or box, wanting things to be different, and searching for an escape hatch – a place where I could find a blank canvas to draw-out that vision.


Someday When Syndrome

Posted on Apr 4, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

“It is good to appreciate that life is now. Whatever it offers, little or much, life is now
– this day – this hour.” ~Charles Macomb Flandrau

“Someday when my prince comes then I’ll feel whole and happy”

“Someday when I get on Oprah, then I’ll have succeeded”

“Someday when I publish the book, this is when the business will really take off”.

Can you relate with these thoughts? If you’re like most of us, you can simply fill in the blank to “Someday when” and have your own projection into the future.

In my work with clients, one of my many jobs is to being a collaborative visionary. A person who walks the path with my you – and helps you see things yourself that you may have never been able to see on your own.

At the same time, I’m also tasked with ensuring that you see that, even though we spend lots of time creative visioning, and getting lots of clarity about what your soul is pulling you towards in every area of your life, that we also don’t fall into the “Someday when” fantasy trap.

The “Someday when” trap is a common one. It’s a feeling that we aren’t happy or fulfilled now and we’ll only be happy when something outside ourselves shifts, or until we obtain something in particular.