Posts Tagged ‘Dealing With Fear’

Fear of Being Seen

Posted on Nov 17, 2014 | by Brenda Stanton

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when you are brave enough to explore the darkness will you discover the infinite power of our light.” ~Brené Brown

Amy Cuddy’s Ted Talk shows you how to literally take up space in the world.

I highly recommend practicing some of the postures (as she suggests in private) and accessing how you feel inside yourself.

Then, access how you’d feel outside in the world.

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Rolling with Life’s Punches

Posted on Nov 14, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“When a poet digs himself into a hole, he doesn’t climb out. He digs deeper, enjoys the scenery, and comes out the other side enlightened.” ~Criss Jami

The above quote is very true.

If we could only look at life’s challenges this way – that eventually they contribute to our art (and heart) and that we all come out the other side of them stronger and more enlightened.

When life throws you punches, do you have this perspective?

It’s not easy to have this perspective at the time – especially when you’re in “the hole” as Criss describes in his quote.

So the question remains, what do you do when life throws you punches? Retract or get stronger?

I have a hunch that you make yourself stronger. That you discover what you’re made of. That you learn how truly resilient that you are. And….you realize that you truly do have a Higher Self that is guiding you – you just need to learn to lean on your Higher Self to get you through.

Leaning on anyone or anything is hard enough to do in general everyday life for us women (and men) who are used to being General Managers of the Universe ;) – but is especially hard when you’ve been thrown a big punch by life….

Lately I’ve been thrown a few unexpected punches and this year has proved to be a very challenging one.

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The Truth About Law of Attraction

Posted on Jul 8, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“Suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens.” ~Dan Millman

We’ve all heard the New Age terms: “Appreciate the now.”, “Be in the moment”.

Great advice but hard advice to implement right? Especially when you feel that the moment, the now, isn’t how it *should* be or look.

I believe we all have discontentment – and oftentimes that discontentment can be healthy- if it’s balanced.

How discontentment becomes unhealthy is when we aren’t appreciating the moments and what is – now. As the quote above insinuates – suffering is thinking that life should look different than how it ‘is’.

Of course this is a control thing – feeling as if you need to control your outcomes, your life to look a certain way.

And this is the real crux of it all – believing that you are totally responsible for your life situation, circumstances and results.

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Wanting More For Your Life

Posted on Apr 15, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

A guilty conscience needs to confess. A work of art is a confession. ~Albert Camus

During a coaching call last week, a client asked a fundamental question that I think at one point or another we’ve all asked ourselves– consciously or unconsciously – Is it bad to want that?

Essentially what my client was asking is: Is it bad to want MORE? More joy, more beauty, more meaning, more experiences? More expansion?

What’s perplexing is– there are some folks who feel guilty and wrong for wanting and craving more and then others who don’t feel guilty about wanting or craving more.

The question remains – why do some have no issue with not only wanting, but having more, and others who feel bad, guilty or unable to manifest MORE?

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Feeling Worthy of Joy

Posted on Feb 11, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“”Our eyes are in front because it’s more important to look ahead than to look back. Don’t dwell on things in the past. Learn from them and keep moving forward.” ~Unknown”

Often you hear me talk about here in Note Worthy articles is the habit many of us have to unconsciously settle for the status quo.

To tolerate less than you deserve.

To stay in what you know vs. risking the unknown.

And I’ve found through first-hand experience that this is not only true when it comes to having new experiences in your life, work and relationships, but it’s really all about the feelings/emotions that go along with those experiences.

Often, many of us don’t realize that we’re stuck in neutral – not feeling much of anything because it feels safer there. No risk of feeling pain if something doesn’t work out or we fail, and also no risk of feeling joy and then losing that feeling.

Imagine your feelings are like the stick-shift on your car. Neutral is your safety zone – it’s kind of a numbed out place where you exist but you aren’t feeling fully alive.

Shifting into Drive is moving forward – keeping your focus on the future and taking steps based on what you desire, not what you fear. And, shifting into Reverse is looking back at the past and most likely feeling regret for what was or what could have been.

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Have More Confidence

Posted on Dec 3, 2012 | by Brenda Stanton

“We give our power away when we become concerned with other people’s opinions. To recapture this power, remember that this is your life. Take back your power.” ~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

The above quote speaks to a term that I’m sure you’ve heard in your own travels about giving your power away. I’ve had clients ask me: what does that truly mean to give your power away? What is your power anyway?

Great question!

Your power is your sense of self. It’s your definition of who you think you are – who you know yourself to be. What you believe you’re capable of and what you believe you’re worthy of. Your power is your self-worth.

We’ve been taught to hand our sense of self over to the outside world. To believe that others opinions define us. Or, that material possessions or worldly success can give a sense of self – some validation that we’ve made it, that we’re whole, and that somehow, the outer world can fulfill us.

Relying on the outside world for any sense of self-worth is not only fleeting and totally temporary, but it’s also extremely risky and absolutely draining.

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Overcoming Regrets

Posted on Apr 10, 2012 | by Brenda Stanton

“Dwell in possibility” ~Emily Dickinson

When you make the all important decision to live the life you’re destined to live, you will go through a myriad of emotions. One biggie of an emotion is the “should-a, could-a, would-a” effect – where you feel “if only” I had done this – or “if only” they had done that – or “if only” it could of worked out this way.

Having regrets about your past and/or present circumstances, not only hold you back from manifesting your highest vision, but regrets also drain your energy and keep you steeped in old self-defeating programming and patterns.

To regret is to feel a sense of loss, disappointment, and an overall dissatisfaction with a decision or circumstance in your life. These feelings, if you explore them, most likely are repeats of the past and reminders of false beliefs that you aren’t worthy, that you can’t have what you want, and that your dreams will never manifest.

Sound familiar?

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Dealing With Your Inner Critic

Posted on Mar 27, 2012 | by Brenda Stanton

“It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.” ~Author Unknown

Each day the past tries to creep into all of our minds and remind us of all the reasons why we can’t have what we truly desire or why we can’t be truly happy.

This can show up when you go to dream about a new adventure or endeavor and begin to consider the possibility of it actually happening. And before you know it, your inner critic is right there to remind you of all the reasons why it won’t work.

I remember a time in my life where I didn’t know the difference from my inner critic voice and the voice of my soul. I remember having dreams and things I wished to do, but having this voice inside tell me it will never happen so don’t bother trying.

It wasn’t until I worked with a coach who understood the critical importance of the “inner work”, that I began to compartmentalize my inner critic voice and realize that it wasn’t all of me, it was a part of me, but not all of me.

This revelation of compartmentalizing my inner critic voice from the voice of my heart was huge because I learned how-to deal with it when it cropped up.

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What Resistance Looks Like

Posted on Sep 13, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore.Dream. Discover” ~Mark Twain

Several years ago – when I was in a major transition period of reinventing my life and my work, I was feeling a need for something, I just wasn’t sure what that something was.

A few months prior I had just finished up work with a coach who had helped along with my transition from corporate into owning my own full-time coaching practice. Now, I was at a stage where I knew I needed some support and some encouragement, but in a much deeper way.

One day while listening to a radio show, I heard a woman who was being interviewed about her personal history and background, and her coaching philosophy. I immediately felt a connection with this woman because it seemed she really understood what it looks like to resist change and how we all can self-sabotage to prevent growth.

I was extremely intrigued by this woman and wrote down her name and email address that was provided on the show.

Then, I forgot about it. Or so I thought.

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