Posts Tagged ‘Be Perfect’

Feeling Lost and Confused

Posted on Mar 25, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches by means of opposites so that you will have two wings to fly, not one” ~ Rumi

We all feel lost and confused about our circumstances once in a while. Where do I go? What do I do? What *should* I be doing? What’s my next step? Where is the path? Why can’t I see it???

You can apply these fearful questions to any area of your life that causes you to feel uncertainty and doubt.

For most of us, the natural reaction is to take action – any type of action – just do something! And this works – especially in the areas of your life where you feel stuck in a rut – taking any action helps.

Where this “I need to do something now!” approach doesn’t work however is when you’re looking to make a BIG, significant change in your life – one in which will align you with your life’s calling.

This type of significant, life-evolving decision requires calm, quiet and much less activity – not more of it.

Not such an easy thing to *do* especially when you’re feeling anxious, bored, doubtful – AND – watching everyone else’s lives seem to be moving right along.


Not Good Enough In Stages

Posted on Jan 7, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“Your current circumstances are perfect. Your past, your present and your future are what is intended and planned for your life. Accept and embrace – it’s all good!”

When people start-out on the path of finally listening and acting upon the voice of their soul, they almost always discover a great need to spiritually awaken not only themselves, but others. It just works like that, when you feel inspired about new things you’ve learned, you naturally want to share that knowledge with others.

So the journey of self-discovery and yearning to serve others begins.

What happens often for most folks starting out on the service path, (and is what happened to me when I was starting out), is that you focus on the sharing with others and helping others piece first. You have such a desire to help and serve that you tend to repeat the pattern of focusing on the outside first, before going within.

But, the beauty of utilizing a creative aspiration such as a business to serve others is that it provides you with a mirror for all your “stuff” to show-up. You begin to see your patterns from long ago and you see where you tend to put the opinions of others in authority over your own self-worth.

And this is where many who are in the “service” field are operating – looking to the outside world to meet their unmet needs for self-worth – to feel important, worthy, special, unique, and SEEN.

This approach of course doesn’t help anyone. It doesn’t help you and it certainly doesn’t help the people that you’re serving.


Trying To Please Everyone

Posted on Aug 9, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” ~ Bill Cosby

If there is one thing that I’ve seen hold more folks back from actively pursuing their mission/purpose in life, it’s trying to please everyone.

As you can see from Bill Cosby’s quote above, it’s very true, the key to failure is trying to make everyone else happy, while you stay stuck and unhappy.

Now, I get loads of flack from people who think that focusing on themselves means they are selfish, self-absorbed and don’t care about others. Yet, I believe we all know, at a very deep level how un-true that is.

The Truth is – the people who are the most caring and who have the most to give to humanity, (especially in these turbulent times where the most caring and compassionate are most needed) are truly the people who need the 101 lesson in owning your own life first, before trying to serve others authentically.

Now, I’m sure you can relate with being part of the guilt, obligation and *should* club – where you feel that others expect certain things from you and expect you to ‘act’ in a certain way.

Whether this is in your personal life with family and friends, or your professional life with colleagues, your boss, and/or clients – others have a certain expectation for who they believe that you are – or who they think you should be.

The challenge and struggle with trying to live your life based on other’s expectations of you – and trying to please them is: you lose-out and they gain. You feel angry, resentful and sad because deep-down you know that you’re living your life to please others – and you’re living by rules you were taught from others (a.k.a. society) which are very simple and extremely limiting: avoid punishment, seek reward.


When you hear the call in your heart that there “must be something more”, or “there is definitely more to me that is aching to be expressed” – this is an authentic call for you to align yourself with your own values, your own voice, and the YOU that you were designed to BE.


Learning To Trust Yourself

Posted on May 31, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

“Trust the instinct to the end, though you can render no reason” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The other day I couldn’t make up my mind.

I had decided to leave a meeting early, but then, I doubted my decision. You should have seen me in the parking lot as I got into my car, then doubted myself, headed back inside, doubted myself again, and got back in my car! Honestly it’s true. It must have been a funny sight to watch –if anyone was in fact – watching!

Yet, it was such a great example of what I feel so many do on a daily basis when it comes to making either simple or complex decisions – doubt yourself vs. trust yourself.

I’m sure you know what it feels like to regret a decision that you made. You most likely fretted over it for weeks, months, maybe even years. But, have you ever given your Self credit for the decisions that turned out great?

Most of us tend to forget to acknowledge when things go right and the decisions that we make actually turn out okay. It’s a rare thing if you find somebody acknowledging themselves for a great decision as many times as you’ll find somebody beating themselves up for one that goes awry.

When I made the decision to leave the meeting the other day I did so because it’s what my intuition told me to do. I simply went with the impulse. Then, when I got into my car, my head wreaked havoc on me – telling me I shouldn’t have left early. What if someone was looking for me after and I wasn’t there? What if someone found out that I left before the event was over? What if this, what if that.

Ugh. Self-doubt sucks!


The Cost of Settlin’

Posted on May 2, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

“Every day, people settle for less than they deserve. They are only partially living or at best living a partial life. Every human being has the potential for greatness.” ~Bo Bennett

In last week’s article I gave you some Worth Work which included taking inventory of things, places, people, etc. that are causing you grief and draining your precious life-energy.

After looking at your list of tolerations, I also encouraged you to take action on one thing that you know will force you to grow and evolve and further expand into your Truest Self.

If you took action on at least one thing, congratulations! You’re most likely feeling lighter, courageous and uber confident – and ready to tackle more opportunities for you to Claim Your Worth!®

And, if you didn’t take action, but did take inventory of your tolerations, then congrats too! Documenting what you’re tolerating, is a big step in moving you forward – and becoming aware (on paper) of what you yearn to change – is a step in the right direction.

If you’re having a challenge with coming up with actual tolerations – here is a hint. Give yourself an allotted amount of time to document things that you’re tolerating and maybe give yourself a goal of writing down at least 30 things.


Trying To Be Perfect

Posted on Apr 21, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

Have you ever tried so hard to get all your ducks in a row – and the minute you feel you have them perfectly lined up, something comes along that you didn’t plan for and your ‘ducks’ start moving in all sorts of directions?

Or, what about a time in your life when you’re in a situation that you don’t want to be in. Maybe you’re aching for something to change, but you’re stuck and just can’t see a way out. Or maybe you’re in a crisis situation where you’re feeling lots of painful and uncomfortable emotions and you just want to run and hide away from it all.

The Truth is – life gets really hard sometimes – and it can feel frustrating, scary and downright crappy to be in a situation that you feel you have absolutely no control over. That no matter how hard you try to change the situation, or the feelings you’re experiencing – nothing is shifting, changing or moving.

And the biggest challenge and thorn in your side is – feeling a pressure to change the situation you’re in – because, after all, life isn’t supposed to be this way – it should be easier, less hard, and feeeeel better.

Can you relate with having felt this way at one time or another? Or maybe you’re feeling this way now?