Posts Tagged ‘Balance’

Feeling Un-Valued: A Real Life Example

Posted on Apr 7, 2014 | by Brenda Stanton

“We teach people how to treat us. You either teach people to treat you with dignity and respect, or you don’t.” ~Dr. Phil

Last weekend I scheduled a very long over-due facial. It’s sad to think about how long it had been – perhaps 4-5 years since I’ve had one? Yikes! Yet, 2014 has been a year where I’ve committed to certain acts of self-care (massages, facials, etc.) – and have stopped defining them a luxury and made them a necessity for feeling good.

Needless to say, I was excited while I sat in the waiting area of the spa – and looking forward to receiving some much needed pampering.

The esthetician eventually came out to greet me. Immediately I felt weird in my body as the initial encounter felt odd and cold.

No warm greeting. No hand-shake. Just a simple statement: “Are you Brenda?” she said. “Yes.” I replied. Then she walked away. I assumed she expected me to follow her? I shrugged it off, got up to follow her, and turned the corner to find her joking around with the receptionist. She turned around looking annoyed, as if to remember she now needed to work, and opened the door to the back area.

I thought to myself: “This doesn’t feel right. I don’t like her energy. This isn’t what I envisioned for being pampered and able to have some serious down-time. I’m feeling stressed, uncomfortable and annoyed.”

But, once again, I shrugged it off and thought to myself that I was just over reacting. I made myself believe I was being overly sensitive and I must be imagining this whole encounter.

A very bad habit of mine has been always believing it’s me, not them.

Being an intuitive, sensitive person, I’ve been a pro at taking on other people’s “stuff” and trying to make them feel better and more comfortable. I realize now that I’ve done this because I learned from a very early-age that I needed to become who “they” wanted me to be in order to receive any morsel of love or acceptance.

Needless to say, this is a habit that I am consciously breaking – no more taking responsibility for “stuff” that isn’t mine.


From Burnt Out to Fired Up!

Posted on Feb 10, 2014 | by Brenda Stanton

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”
~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

At a very deep level within YOU – you know what it means to truly Claim Your Worth!®. You know that at the end of your life – and at the end of your days – each day – what truly matters is who you allowed yourself to become as a person – and your ability to give and receive love freely and authentically.

Yes, of course, we all know this to be true at a superficial level because this is so much of what is said “out there”. Yet, you can hear the words, but to be able to understand what they mean, you need to experience them for yourself – and experience what it really means to Claim Your Worth!® from the inside/out.

In other words, it’s a totally different story to realize that the beauty, fullness, radiance, security, confidence, courage, and acceptance you seek – is already within YOU. If you aren’t feeling “It”, then you’ve just lost touch with “It” and need to become reacquainted in order to become re-united.


Protect Your Energy

Posted on May 6, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“Never allow what another does steal your joy. You have power to react any way you choose. Be conscious of protecting your positive energy.”

When you are on the conscious path and taking responsibility for how you yearn to, and deserve to, live your life – you will not only battle with your own negative thoughts and inner critic, but you’ll also have to deal with the negative thoughts and inner critics of others.

If you’ve been on the self-development path for quite some time, no doubt you’ve read about, implemented and succeeded at the power of positive thinking. It’s true, what you think about you bring about.

Yet, as with everything, there are always deeper levels to go to with the learning.

As you continue to Claim Your Worth!®, you may notice that it feels like it will get harder before it gets easier. And much of this has to do with your dealings of others who aren’t on the same conscious path as you.

This is in no way to say anyone is “better” or “more evolved” than anyone else. Rather, it simply is the Truth that we all have different roles to play here on planet earth – and everyone is reading their own life script.


Breaking Old Habits

Posted on Nov 30, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

If you’ve been trying unsuccessfully to change a habit, understand that there is usually one hidden advantage or liking for that particular behavior just below your conscious
awareness.” ~Hale Dwoskin

As we begin the process of wrapping up 2011, the next few weeks are critical to helping you get clear on your intentions for 2012.

And, as with every visioning and planning process, it’s so vital to know not only what it is that you yearn to achieve in the new year, but why you yearn to achieve certain things and to have certain experiences.

Consider this definition of who we become based on our habits according to Steven Covey – Author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: “Our character is a composite of our habits, which form a powerful factor in our lives. Because habits are consistent, unconscious patterns, they constantly express our character and produce our effectiveness and ineffectiveness.”

Covey goes on to say in his book that habits have a strong gravitational pull – and breaking deeply imbedded habitual tendencies, (that most of us consider as “bad”) such as; procrastination, impatience, criticalness and selfishness – involve more than just mere willpower.

What you need in order to break deeply imbedded habits that you know are holding you back is: awareness. Awareness of why you have the habits to begin with…and what you’re gaining from having them.


The Quality of Your Life

Posted on Aug 30, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

“Time is God’s way of keeping everything from happening at once” ~Anon

I encourage you to read the quote above again and really think about it.

Then consider this: what if the statement is True – and that time is just a boundary in which we base our life around – to keep everything from happening at once?

If we all truly believed the above quote to be True, how would you then look at your time?

Would you stop being so hard on yourself and allow things to happen rather than always feeling like you need to make them happen? Would you give yourself a break and stop beating yourself up for all the stuff that needs to get done and say it will get done, in it’s right time?

But then, you might say to yourself: “But how will I reach my potential, achieve my goals, and get everything done that needs to get done, in order to ‘get there’, if I’m not pushing myself to do it ALL”?

Sound familiar?


The Cost of Settlin’

Posted on May 2, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

“Every day, people settle for less than they deserve. They are only partially living or at best living a partial life. Every human being has the potential for greatness.” ~Bo Bennett

In last week’s article I gave you some Worth Work which included taking inventory of things, places, people, etc. that are causing you grief and draining your precious life-energy.

After looking at your list of tolerations, I also encouraged you to take action on one thing that you know will force you to grow and evolve and further expand into your Truest Self.

If you took action on at least one thing, congratulations! You’re most likely feeling lighter, courageous and uber confident – and ready to tackle more opportunities for you to Claim Your Worth!®

And, if you didn’t take action, but did take inventory of your tolerations, then congrats too! Documenting what you’re tolerating, is a big step in moving you forward – and becoming aware (on paper) of what you yearn to change – is a step in the right direction.

If you’re having a challenge with coming up with actual tolerations – here is a hint. Give yourself an allotted amount of time to document things that you’re tolerating and maybe give yourself a goal of writing down at least 30 things.


Someday When Syndrome

Posted on Apr 4, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

“It is good to appreciate that life is now. Whatever it offers, little or much, life is now
– this day – this hour.” ~Charles Macomb Flandrau

“Someday when my prince comes then I’ll feel whole and happy”

“Someday when I get on Oprah, then I’ll have succeeded”

“Someday when I publish the book, this is when the business will really take off”.

Can you relate with these thoughts? If you’re like most of us, you can simply fill in the blank to “Someday when” and have your own projection into the future.

In my work with clients, one of my many jobs is to being a collaborative visionary. A person who walks the path with my you – and helps you see things yourself that you may have never been able to see on your own.

At the same time, I’m also tasked with ensuring that you see that, even though we spend lots of time creative visioning, and getting lots of clarity about what your soul is pulling you towards in every area of your life, that we also don’t fall into the “Someday when” fantasy trap.

The “Someday when” trap is a common one. It’s a feeling that we aren’t happy or fulfilled now and we’ll only be happy when something outside ourselves shifts, or until we obtain something in particular.


Heavy Expectations

Posted on Oct 18, 2010 | by Brenda Stanton

I remember reading somewhere a long time ago that a high quality of life has to do with what you take off your plate than what you add onto it. I agreed with the statement at the time I read it, and as I’ve gotten older, it’s become much more relevant to my own life and also the lives of the people I coach and teach.

Removing things off your plate both externally in your outer world, and internally in your inner world is truly the KEY to living authentically. We all know how awesome it feels to purge, clear out your closets and clear space on your calendar for new things to show up in your life. And how great it feels to begin to integrate and let go of limiting beliefs so you can begin to live the vision that is meant for you to live.

Yet, what most often happens is – the space that gets cleared off your plate, can cause all sorts of emotions and anxiety. And, the first inclination – without even being aware it’s happening – is to quickly and effectively get those empty spaces filled-up with more stuff. More to do’s, more have to’s, more places to be, more people to see.

Does this sound familiar?

If it does I understand. I’ve been a long-time member of the ‘heavy expectation’ club too. A club whose members feel if you’re not striving, chasing, and staying motivated and on-track towards something better, then something must be wrong.