If you’ve been trying unsuccessfully to change a habit, understand that there is usually one hidden advantage or liking for that particular behavior just below your conscious
awareness.” ~Hale Dwoskin

As we begin the process of wrapping up 2011, the next few weeks are critical to helping you get clear on your intentions for 2012.

And, as with every visioning and planning process, it’s so vital to know not only what it is that you yearn to achieve in the new year, but why you yearn to achieve certain things and to have certain experiences.

Consider this definition of who we become based on our habits according to Steven Covey – Author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: “Our character is a composite of our habits, which form a powerful factor in our lives. Because habits are consistent, unconscious patterns, they constantly express our character and produce our effectiveness and ineffectiveness.”

Covey goes on to say in his book that habits have a strong gravitational pull – and breaking deeply imbedded habitual tendencies, (that most of us consider as “bad”) such as; procrastination, impatience, criticalness and selfishness – involve more than just mere willpower.

What you need in order to break deeply imbedded habits that you know are holding you back is: awareness. Awareness of why you have the habits to begin with…and what you’re gaining from having them.

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“Time is God’s way of keeping everything from happening at once” ~Anon

I encourage you to read the quote above again and really think about it.

Then consider this: what if the statement is True – and that time is just a boundary in which we base our life around – to keep everything from happening at once?

If we all truly believed the above quote to be True, how would you then look at your time?

Would you stop being so hard on yourself and allow things to happen rather than always feeling like you need to make them happen? Would you give yourself a break and stop beating yourself up for all the stuff that needs to get done and say it will get done, in it’s right time?

But then, you might say to yourself: “But how will I reach my potential, achieve my goals, and get everything done that needs to get done, in order to ‘get there’, if I’m not pushing myself to do it ALL”?

Sound familiar?

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“Every day, people settle for less than they deserve. They are only partially living or at best living a partial life. Every human being has the potential for greatness.” ~Bo Bennett

In last week’s article I gave you some Worth Work which included taking inventory of things, places, people, etc. that are causing you grief and draining your precious life-energy.

After looking at your list of tolerations, I also encouraged you to take action on one thing that you know will force you to grow and evolve and further expand into your Truest Self.

If you took action on at least one thing, congratulations! You’re most likely feeling lighter, courageous and uber confident – and ready to tackle more opportunities for you to Claim Your Worth!®

And, if you didn’t take action, but did take inventory of your tolerations, then congrats too! Documenting what you’re tolerating, is a big step in moving you forward – and becoming aware (on paper) of what you yearn to change – is a step in the right direction.

If you’re having a challenge with coming up with actual tolerations – here is a hint. Give yourself an allotted amount of time to document things that you’re tolerating and maybe give yourself a goal of writing down at least 30 things.

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“It is good to appreciate that life is now. Whatever it offers, little or much, life is now
– this day – this hour.” ~Charles Macomb Flandrau

“Someday when my prince comes then I’ll feel whole and happy”

“Someday when I get on Oprah, then I’ll have succeeded”

“Someday when I publish the book, this is when the business will really take off”.

Can you relate with these thoughts? If you’re like most of us, you can simply fill in the blank to “Someday when” and have your own projection into the future.

In my work with clients, one of my many jobs is to being a collaborative visionary. A person who walks the path with my you – and helps you see things yourself that you may have never been able to see on your own.

At the same time, I’m also tasked with ensuring that you see that, even though we spend lots of time creative visioning, and getting lots of clarity about what your soul is pulling you towards in every area of your life, that we also don’t fall into the “Someday when” fantasy trap.

The “Someday when” trap is a common one. It’s a feeling that we aren’t happy or fulfilled now and we’ll only be happy when something outside ourselves shifts, or until we obtain something in particular.

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I remember reading somewhere a long time ago that a high quality of life has to do with what you take off your plate than what you add onto it. I agreed with the statement at the time I read it, and as I’ve gotten older, it’s become much more relevant to my own life and also the lives of the people I coach and teach.

Removing things off your plate both externally in your outer world, and internally in your inner world is truly the KEY to living authentically. We all know how awesome it feels to purge, clear out your closets and clear space on your calendar for new things to show up in your life. And how great it feels to begin to integrate and let go of limiting beliefs so you can begin to live the vision that is meant for you to live.

Yet, what most often happens is – the space that gets cleared off your plate, can cause all sorts of emotions and anxiety. And, the first inclination – without even being aware it’s happening – is to quickly and effectively get those empty spaces filled-up with more stuff. More to do’s, more have to’s, more places to be, more people to see.

Does this sound familiar?

If it does I understand. I’ve been a long-time member of the ‘heavy expectation’ club too. A club whose members feel if you’re not striving, chasing, and staying motivated and on-track towards something better, then something must be wrong.

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