“Success in any endeavor depends on the degree to which it is an expression of your true self.” ~Ralph Marston
We all have that voice within.
You know the one that crops-up when you’re attempting to make any type of positive change in your life. It either whispers, or speaks to you in a loud scream, something that sounds like: “Don’t Bother!”
If you allow the voice to continue to give you “advice” you’ll have convinced yourself in about 30-seconds of all the reasons why you shouldn’t make any type of change, or even attempt trying.
Not only does the voice do a great job of preventing you from trying to make any type of positive changes, but it also is phenomenal at beating you down, and making you feel really bad and small for things that you can’t seem to handle in your everyday life.
If you pay attention, you’ll notice your inner critic voice will point out everything you’re doing wrong in so many areas of your life.
For example, say you want to change some habits in the area of your home & surroundings – your inner critic will tell you: “See, you can’t even manage this mess, what makes you think you’re going to be able to handle more of x, y, and z or justify having nicer things”
Or if you want to make some changes in your diet, your inner critic may sound like:
“Listen, you have no self-control – did you realize how much of that desert you ate last night? Well I did and you don’t have what it takes to be svelte like you desire. Sorry, but it’s true.”
Ouch! Harsh words for sure.
Harsh words you would never repeat or say to anyone else – but for whatever reason, they live within you and you get to listen to them, and most likely believe them, each and everyday.
What you may not realize however is – your inner critic may be a part of you that you are most comfortable responding to – especially when it comes to your desire to make changes in your life.
To help explore this concept further, and to help you to stop getting guidance, and potential motivation, from the inner critic within, check-out the Worthy Work below.
Consider this – the exact opposite voice of your inner critic would be something along the lines of pity. A voice within you that pities you – that gives you sympathy – tries to make you feel better, but ends up making you feel worse.
Pity to me, is just another way of trying to make you feel less than – it just comes off as less “abusive”, but way more condescending.
Feeling pitied is not fun. It’s not motivating either.
Getting yelled at by your inner critic, and being shamed into making changes, isn’t fun either.
So, what’s the alternative?
Most of us don’t realize how much of either-or thinkers we really are. If I want this to change, it will to the other extreme.
For example, imagine you stop listening to your inner critic and begin to be more kind and gentle with yourself. Notice if you immediately go to the extreme and begin to worry that you’re going to let yourself off the hook and begin feeling bad for myself and feeling pitied.
This is a tricky thing – so notice where you may be experiencing resistance to allowing this message to resonate.
The solution again is finding balance. Going to the happy medium – the place in the middle where you aren’t abusive with yourself, but you also aren’t feeling weak and less than through a condescending, nothing will ever change for me tone.
The middle is where you find your True Self – the part of you that empowers you. The part of you that gives you strength and reminds you that you are capable of all that you desire and more. The part of you that would never abuse you, but would also never pity you either.
Give it a try. This week give thought to how you motivate yourself through changes. Do you give yourself a hard time and allow your inner critic to rule the day? If so, go for some more balance – go for the middle where you meet Truth – simply pray for it and the answers, guidance, and yes, the motivation will come!
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