Learning To Trust Yourself

Posted on May 31, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

“Trust the instinct to the end, though you can render no reason” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The other day I couldn’t make up my mind.

I had decided to leave a meeting early, but then, I doubted my decision. You should have seen me in the parking lot as I got into my car, then doubted myself, headed back inside, doubted myself again, and got back in my car! Honestly it’s true. It must have been a funny sight to watch –if anyone was in fact – watching!

Yet, it was such a great example of what I feel so many do on a daily basis when it comes to making either simple or complex decisions – doubt yourself vs. trust yourself.

I’m sure you know what it feels like to regret a decision that you made. You most likely fretted over it for weeks, months, maybe even years. But, have you ever given your Self credit for the decisions that turned out great?

Most of us tend to forget to acknowledge when things go right and the decisions that we make actually turn out okay. It’s a rare thing if you find somebody acknowledging themselves for a great decision as many times as you’ll find somebody beating themselves up for one that goes awry.

When I made the decision to leave the meeting the other day I did so because it’s what my intuition told me to do. I simply went with the impulse. Then, when I got into my car, my head wreaked havoc on me – telling me I shouldn’t have left early. What if someone was looking for me after and I wasn’t there? What if someone found out that I left before the event was over? What if this, what if that.

Ugh. Self-doubt sucks!

But self-doubt is what can wreak havoc not only on your self-esteem but on your self-worth because it takes you away from trusting yourself and knowing that the impulse that you acted on was what was right for you in the moment.

Imagine that every decision you ever made – good or bad – or mediocre – turned out exactly the way it needed to – for your highest good? Wouldn’t that be fantastically freeing to be able to live life that way – without having to worry about outcomes – just go with the impulse?

This is what learning to trust YourSelf – Self with a capital S – is all about. Your little self will try to convince you that what you did was bad, wrong, etc. – but regardless of what happened, what if it truly happened the way it needed to? Ahh, I just felt my shoulders drop, did yours drop too?

If you’re a woman who has a tendency to doubt yourself and your decisions many times over- I would bet that you’re extremely creative and sensitive – and by sensitive I don’t mean ‘weak’, I mean being able to sense what is the right thing to do – from inside of you – without having to ask anyone’s opinion, just consulting your own inner wisdom – is enough.

Yet, you may have been taught to doubt yourself, doubt that part of you that has guided you to be who you are – because that side of you may have gotten you into loads of trouble – because she had/has opinions, likes to draw outside the lines, be different, etc.

If this resonates with you, check-out the Worthy Work below to learn how to trust YourSelf more – and to allow your inner wisdom to guide you – regardless of the outcome – because – again – whatever happens is meant to happen!

Interesting perspective I know, and a fun one to play with!

 

WORTHY WORK

This week, simply consider how you go about making decisions to do, or not to do, something. As you go through your days, notice how you go about making the decisions you do – and – if they vary based on what the decision is.

For example, is it easy for you to pick out what you need at the grocery store, but struggle with what to wear to a special event? What about when it comes to very, very important decisions like you career or relationships? How do you go about making those decisions? Do they take longer – and require more consideration – in comparison with the grocery store example?

Simply witness, notice and observe yourself this week when it comes to making all sorts of decisions – and notice how complex you make certain ones – and how simple you make other ones.

Then, consider coaching yourself around being more simple with the complex ones too. Scary thought right? Because after all most of us have been trained to believe that important decisions can’t be made on impulse or a whim, they need lots of analysis, trial and error, and comparison.

What we’re aiming for here is for you to simply notice how you go about making decisions – and what parts of you – you rely on to make them? Do you ask others their opinion? Do you need a panel of folks to help you make the decision?

No judgment, simply observe. Then, simply ask yourself, why do I have such a hard time trusting myself? What do I fear will happen if I go with what I feel is best without consulting anybody? Do I worry about consequences or getting into trouble if I make the wrong decision? And if so, why?

As always, contemplative questions to get you to think and to go inside!

Have fun contemplating!

 

To Your Worth!
Brenda


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