Knowing What You Really Want

Posted on Aug 15, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

“In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

Personally, I think clarity is very underrated and de-valued – and too much attention is put on action and getting things done.

What I’ve found to be true in my own life, and in the lives of the clients I work with, that when you feel a strong pull – a desperation – to get to a goal- or a finish line – usually it’s because there is an unmet need that hasn’t been fulfilled or paid attention to – vs. a value that is aching to be continually expressed.

In this article I wrote about the difference between Needs vs. Wants – and it’s a very, very important distinction.

However, our society as a whole (generalizing here!) is focused on do, do, do and hasn’t given enough time and thought to be, be, be. And to allowing your soul to guide you vs. your head.

The key distinction is: Your head wants you to chase the cheese and beat-out others, wheras your heart yearns for you to make a contribution in the lives of others as well as your own.

Now, I am a very impatient woman – and I think that was a gift given to me by God so I can get things done. Yet, I also feel that learning to be patient and trusting the Universe to provide in Divine Timing – is one of my greatest lessons in this lifetime.

Can you relate?

In order to gain clarity on what it is that you really, really want for your life, your work and relationships – silence is non-negotiable. Silence is the act of allowing yourself to have – not only quiet time – but sacred soul time – where you spend time with yourself contemplating what your soul wants vs. what your head tells you *should* want.

Our heads are filled with old ‘stuff’ from our family of origin, our teachers, our friend’s parents, our friends themselves, society as a whole – and by listening to what our heads think we *should* do, we stay stuck.

The key is: knowing what You, the Real You, really, really wants and then learning how-to trust those desires, those yearnings, and to – most importantly – not judge them.

Check-out the Worthy Work below where I give you some tips to get a stronger vision for what you really, really want – and then – to help you understand how you judge your desires and as a result, potentially remain stuck and complacent.

 

WORTHY WORK

To help you get clarity on what it is that you really want, check-out these top 3 steps below to help you understand what may be holding you back from taking action on what your heart says about you want vs. your head:

Step 1: Know what your heart yearns to do: this is very clique – however – it’s important when you go to vision and ask yourSELF what you really, really want out of life – to not get into the whole ‘how’ and simply focus on the What.

Step 2: Understand Your Resistance: If you’re feeling any resistance or judgment about what it is that you want, or feeling any resistance committing pen to paper, ask yourself what you may be judging about what you really desire. Are you embarrassed to admit that you want more from life, work and relationships? Do you feel that you should be happy with what you have and to not ‘rock the boat’? This is an opportunity for you to OWN what it is that you desire and see where you may be bumping up against “I don’t deserve that!”, “Who do I think I am to want that?”, or “I shouldn’t want this, I have so much already – I am greedy for wanting this!” Simply notice and go to Step 3.

Step 3: Honor the Light & The Dark: If you hear your inner critic shouting at you, judging you for even considering wanting MORE allow it to be there – and ‘use’ it to gain deeper knowledge of what holds you back. Ask your inner critic what it is afraid of if you step-out further and grow. Give yourself a limit with this exercise – about 30-45 seconds to give your inner critic ‘the floor’ and say it’s peace. Then, acknowledge the wisdom and then move forward with knowing that its natural and healthy to grow and to step outside your comfort zone – otherwise, the alternative is to remain stuck.

After going through these steps to gain clarity on what’s next for you to have in your life, I challenge you to take action within the next 7 days on one thing that will move you closer towards your vision. Do something bold, something out of character – that will move you forward towards you vision!

Congrats in advance on taking action – I know you can do it!

 

To Your Worth!
Brenda


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