Have you ever given thought to how you parent yourself and what your own parent (whether they were physically in your life or not) demonstrated to you about your own sense of self worth?
Notice that I said “sense” of self worth because most of us don’t realize that the way we witness how others interact with us – especially when we’re young and super impressionable – is how we form our sense of self worth and value in your world.
This doesn’t mean that others give you a sense of value or worth – it’s how you interpret their actions that you make your own assumptions and decisions. Then, these assumptions get internalized and form beliefs about yourself that most likely still hold true for you today.
They key thing to realize about parents is – whatever you witnessed not only with how they treated you – but how they treated themselves, got internalized to how you treat you.
This isn’t obvious because most of us make very clear decisions at some point in life to say – I will NEVER be like my mother or father – or both! Then, you work really hard to become the opposite of them…and you most likely became successful at being the opposite.
Yet, have you ever found yourself saying something to someone else that sounds alot like one of your parents?
Or, have you wondered why you tend to be a giver but have a hard time receiving back? Or attract others into your life who abandon or reject you – and wonder why the pattern keeps happening?
Conclusion: how you were parented is how you parent yourself.
Again, there could be one moment in time, or multiple moments, where you felt abandoned or rejected – and these patterns get internalized within for you to do the same to yourself that you felt was done to you.
So, if you find yourself continually attracting others who take but don’t give, ask yourself, what are you giving you? Do you accept crumbs from yourself and therefore unconsciously expect others to give you something that you don’t give yourself?
Or, if you find a pattern of rejection and abandonment showing up, ask yourself, do I abandon and reject myself – do I think I’ll be rejected or left and then wonder why it keep showing up in my life? Shouldn’t others know that I need them to be different to feel different?
Ahh, that’s how most of us were taught to live – expect from others things that you won’t give yourself. Expect others to make-up for the lack that you feel – and if they come up short, shame on them!
I recently read this and suggest you take it to heart like I did: We are the root of the energy that surrounds us. To change this, you have to dive into your own energy and give this to yourself FIRST.
Contemplate what we talked about here – do you expect others to give you what you won’t give yourself? Do you look back on how you were parented and blame your parents without realizing you’ve duplicated their parenting to how you parent and treat yourself?
This journey is all about your relationship to yourself . As Eckhart Tolle said, when you change the inside, the outside will fall into place. GIve it try!
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