“Find something you’re passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it.” ~Julia Child
When someone comes to me to inquire about
collaboration & coaching, there are almost always two commonalities.
The first commonality is, the second phase of your life is upon you. This doesn’t mean age necessarily, but soul growth and soul-path – where you are at a crossroads and an important choice needs to be made about the direction you are heading with your life.
The second commonality is – you are craving someone to hold you accountable – to keep you motivated, taking action and moving forward.
And what’s very cool about both aspects of the coaching inquiry is: the crossroads and the accountability go hand-in-hand.
When clients describe needing some accountability to take the “next step”, I know they are not only ready to shift into the direction of their soul’s life plan, but they are also ready to shed old ways of being (habits, old belief systems, etc.) and learn what their
true motivations are.
See, when you’re at that crossroads, ready to leap onto your true life’s path, you’re also ready to discover that what motivated you before isn’t going to cut it moving forward.
Think of it this way: in the first half of your life, we are motivated by a variety of things. Fear and approval seeking are two of the main ones. Fear that our needs won’t be met so we work overtime, and in overdrive, to make sure that we get them met. And wanting to be liked so badly that you mold yourself into whatever direction or form that will get others to like and approve of you.
Well, the opposite of needing accountability and keeping yourself accountable is when you: are motivated by something that grabs you at a soul-level and won’t let you go – where each step you take feels supported and completely in-line with your life’s purpose. Rather than drain you it gives you life. And the need to be liked and approved of falls away because what you have to say is so entrenched in you as Truth, that the only opinion that matters is the one of your True Source – The Divine.
So, in terms of needing to be held accountable, that goes out the window when you discover what you’re being called to do and where you’re being pulled. At that point, the only coaching you need is for someone to collaborate with you and extract your very essence – your Truth so that you can align with that.
To Your Worth!
Consider what’s motivated you in the past – really dig deep and ask yourself – has fear and doubt been a key driver in my life and the fuel I’ve used to keep myself accountable and take action to move forward? Also ask yourself, has a strong need to be liked and approved of been a motivation for me where I’ve done things to not disappoint vs. being aligned with my own self and what I want?
When you dig into what’s really driving your actions and question them, you begin to see where you’re ready to make some serious shifts.
Know this: when you are driven by fear – fear of there not being enough, fear that you aren’t enough, fear that others won’t be enough, fear that things won’t work out, etc. – then your energy is based on lack and self-doubt and that’s what gets attracted back to you. The same is true when you’re motivated by people pleasing and gaining approval – your energy is zapped because your first priority is to be liked, which can not only get really old, really fast, but it’s draining on your energy.
This week, simply contemplate what really motivates and drives you to take action. Ask yourself, is this action aligned with what my heart and soul long to do – OR – is this action motivated by a have to, a should, a fear that if I don’t do it, there will be consequences?
Give yourself the time to really contemplate this. And if you need some assistance, feel free to reach-out. A Kick Start Strategy session may be in order to help you get on the right track and aligned with Truth vs. Fear and Self Doubt.
Oct 22, 2012 at 3:03 pm
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