Heaviness of Personal Responsibility

Posted on Mar 24, 2014 | by Brenda Stanton

“Take chances, take a lot of them. Because honestly, no matter where you end up and with whom, it always ends up just the way it should be. Your mistakes make you who you are. You learn and grow with each choice you make. Everything is worth it. Say how you feel, always. Be you, and be okay with it.” ~Unknown

The other day I watched this brief video of Pastor Joel Olsteen chat with a woman on the Oprah’s Lifeclass about her challenges with self worth.

I love Joel Olsteen. He’s so full of life, inspiration and great advice. It’s also so clear where his priorities are – steeped in putting God first in his life, and allowing himself to be led vs. feeling as if he’s the one in the driver’s seat.

And I’m sure, with more time, Joel could have expanded upon his message to this beautiful woman about how to feel more worthy. If you watch the brief video, you’ll see how he helped her shift her mindset and to be more faithFULL that God has a plan, and where she’s “at”, isn’t a mistake.

All beautiful messages about believing in God’s plan and having FAITH.

Yet, I know this woman Michelle is still feeling blocked based on what she said: “I’m not disappointed in God but I’m more disappointed and ashamed of myself”.

Ahh, the grip of self-blame that keeps you stuck in the past and never seems to let go as much as you “try”.

I know from first-hand experience that the older you get, the more mishaps and “mistakes” you make, and the more regrets you can have. The self-blame and personal responsibility can be, and often is, overhwelmingly heavy.

Can you relate where you have the habit of blaming and shaming yourself for making wrong decisions that have left you at what feels like a dead-end in your life?

Well, as Joel said, God has written every page in the book of your life. What you’re going through isn’t a surprise to God.

To expand upon that, and delve into a deeper Truth – what if what has happened is exactly what your soul agreed to have happen so you could get the lesson your soul yearned to learn?

What if Michelle’s lesson is to not define herself by her roles – wife, mother, skinny/fat woman. What if her lesson is to identify with her True Self and realize, as Geneen Roth would say, that her True Self has never, ever weighed a pound.

In other words, there is a much deeper side to your identity that has plans and agendas for your life as well. And even though life doesn’t always go according to how your personality wants it to go, doesn’t mean you aren’t “on plan” and exactly where your soul wants/needs you to be.

To help you understand how-to begin to understand how identifying with your soul can/will assist with you begin on your life’s path, check-out the Worthy Work below.



1. Your Past Has Purpose: In Michelle’s case, her main struggle has to do with feeling worthy of having good things in her life. A major off-shoot of her self worth challenge is – an overwhelming feeling of personal responsibility that she messed up her marriage and that she isn’t a good Mom. These struggles have purpose and they aren’t mistakes. Michelle’s path most likely includes her helping herself consistently and at the same time helping others with these same challenges. I bet if Oprah did a follow-up with Michelle 5 years from now she’d be living a very different experience – it’s no coincidence that she had Joel Olsteen and Oprah Winfrey coach her “live”. See, God does have a plan.

2. Integrate Your Past, Don’t Live There: It’s so important to understand that your past has so many clues about your life’s calling in it. The challenges you’ve overcome and the person you’ve evolved into as a result of your past is extraordinary. Yet, what we all must be careful of is: extracting the GIFTS from your past, but forgetting to evolve your sense of self (how you view yourself) in the process. In other words, you can extract the experiences from your past, integrate them into the now, and turn them into purpose. What a beautiful thing. Yet, if you aren’t aware throughout the process, you can still carry around the old identity of who you believed you were/are based on those experiences. This is so fundamentally KEY – to ensure that YOU don’t continue to live in the past even when you can see the gifts in it. Allow yourself and your own sense of Self to evolve right along with you living out your life’s calling.

3: Identify With Truth: If you can look at the past and see how it’s been perfect for you to live-out your life’s calling, but don’t commit to evolving your sense of self, you may find yourself retracting back to your old habits and old ways of being. It’s so easy to know deep within that you have purpose and that there is so much potential to be realized. What’s not so easy is believing that YOU are the person to realize that potential and do your life’s work. You may find yourself knowing clearly what to do but you’re just not doing it. If so, it’s time for you to work on your sense of self and realize your true identity. To claim your God given rights – to Claim Your Worth!®

This week ask yourself: Am I committed to not only discovering my life’s calling but actually living it? Do I find myself knowing what needs to be done but feeling blocked to believing I’m the person to do it?

If you find yourself feeling blocked and stuck to moving forward, re-visit the three areas above and commit to finding out and BEING who you really are. We’re all waiting for you to SHINE – it’s your decision to make. Enjoy your week!




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