Guilt and Unworthiness

Posted on Jan 31, 2011 | by Brenda Stanton

“Guilt is anger directed at ourselves – at what we did or did not do.
Resentment is anger directed at others – at what they did or did not do.”

~ Peter McWilliams

This statement above says so much about our natural tendency as humans to try to understand or make sense for why certain things happen, or don’t happen. And how we try to make sense of why we – or others – do certain things – and how we or others need to pay for the ‘wrong’ or make others ‘pay’ for the wrong through the use of guilt.

Guilt, in a nutshell, is not a fun emotion – whether you use it in your arsenal against yourself or against others.

Consider what the word guilt really means – and I’ll paraphrase here – but essentially, it’s an emotion that you’d use to pay for a crime or offense that was committed. It’s all about being made wrong for things, and feeling as though they are all your fault, or all somebody else’s fault.

Guilt is an inner sense (most likely completely unconscious) you consistently feel like you need to be paying-for wrongs that you believe you made – and that in the underbelly of your life – you really don’t deserve to receive anything good or pleasurable – and if you do receive something good – the belief that it won’t last trumps everything – so why bother even attempting pursing anything new – or trying to improve things – because it won’t last anyway.

Yikes! Do you see now why guilt is not a fun emotion – and how it’s truly toxic to your system?

Guilt and unworthiness are truly the reason why most people are afraid to move forward towards dreams that are lying dormant in your heart – or why you know life is meant to be lived differently for you – but for whatever reason – when you go to make changes they either don’t last, or you stop yourself from even trying.

Now, you may be wondering, where does all the guilt and unworthiness stem from? What do you believe that you did so wrong that you feel unworthy of what you truly desire?

Well, as I mentioned in the article: Your Sense of Self Worth, early-on you received a variety of messages that told you that you weren’t worthy of experiencing true joy – or that you did something terribly wrong and you took that on that you’re bad, shameful and unworthy.

Now, for many folks, they can take this knowledge at face-value and do your best to accept that others who made you feel guilty – or told you were wrong – made mistakes or were doing their best and had your best interests at heart.

But, what I know from first-hand experience and working with a variety of clients in my practice is: sugar-coating and making excuses for others behavior doesn’t work – and it doesn’t make-up for the hurt you can feel when others stomp on your glow and snuff out your beautiful light. Can you see now why resentment (a.k.a. anger) towards others is so prevalent – in addition to anger you may hold towards yourself?

This is why last week’s article, Your Future Life Decision, is so imperative for you moving forward and being able to acknowledge, honor, and let go of wrong turns, past hurts, and broken hearts – so you can begin the Claim Your Worth!® process and unearth your innate worth and finally feel ready to embrace a beautiful future.

Check-out the “Worth Work” below where I help you go deeper into where guilt may be playing a huge role in your and how it could be keeping you stuck in the quick-sand of feeling unworthy.



Consider where guilt may be playing a big role in your life – and how it shows up in a variety of self-sabotaging ways such as: soft-addictions like overeating, overworking, overspending, over-people-pleasing, never taking time for yourself, etc.

Then, consider where you may be punishing yourself for something that you believe that you did wrong – and that you need to constantly make-up for that wrong – and pay-your-dues through life being really, really hard and tiring.

Then, consider where you may be resenting others for things you feel they’ve done wrong to you – what are those hurts? And what makes them guilty? What was their wrong towards you that you feel they need to ‘pay-for’?

Now, what if, whatever happened that you feel guilty about – and things that you’re holding others accountable for guilty about – happened for your highest good – and that you’ll never necessarily know the ‘real-why’, but deep within you know it happened to help develop your soul?

This week simply consider this – and contemplate on this ‘spiritually optimistic’ perspective. And then consider For-Giving yourself and others – not for anything they or you did wrong – but giving love to the situation with the belief that whatever happened was an agreement to advance each others’ souls?

Deep perspective – and deep shifts can – and will – happen when you look through your life and your circumstances through a different lens. Try it on for size – and let us know what you think! Simply reply to this email to share any insights or shifts that happened as a result.

As always, I give you loads of credit and support for looking deeper within – and honor you for walking this Claim Your Worth!® path – we are in this together!


To Your Worth!

Subscribe to My Blog:

Subscribe to my blog! Enter your email below to receive new articles by email!