It’s inevitable, when you set a strong intention to change your life for the better, all sorts of emotions crop-up that you didn’t expect.

Learning to honor those emotions – all of them – is the KEY to transformation.

Often we don’t realize that our daily lives are playing out patterns from the past – and unconsciously we are each trying to heal old wounds by trying to “do it better” this time around.

And always, when you set a strong intention to experience something new, something better, something different than what you’re used to – painful and very uncomfortable emotions will crop-up.

Again, unconsciously we are more comfortable with the familiar – what we know – what’s predictable.

In other words, the predictable pain may make you feel miserable but the pain is something you know.

It’s as if you choose to watch a movie you’ve seen before – or read a book you’ve read a bunch of times – you know the ending –therefore there is no risk.

This is where understanding your motivations for change come into play – and digging deep into what you say you want vs. what actions you take against what you say you want.

We all say we want certain experiences – we talk about them, dream about them, put images on vision boards, etc. – and sometimes they manifest and sometimes they don’t.

Sometimes you may get what you wanted but not feel worthy of holding onto it so you do something to unconsciously sabotage it.

Or, you may never be able to fully touch what you want – you can see it, you can feel it, etc. but you just can’t seem to grab onto it and claim it – and you don’t know why.

If you know you yearn for change but don’t seem to be experiencing what you want – or don’t feel fully committed to embracing that change – and you don’t know why – check-out the Worthy Work below for some tips that will get you thinking about your WHY and your motivation for doing what you do (or not doing what you say you want to do).

To Your Worth!
Brenda

To Your Worth!
Brenda

I remember reading somewhere a long time ago that a high quality of life has to do with what you take off your plate than what you add onto it. I agreed with the statement at the time I read it, and as I’ve gotten older, it’s become much more relevant to my own life and also the lives of the people I coach and teach.

Removing things off your plate both externally in your outer world, and internally in your inner world is truly the KEY to living authentically. We all know how awesome it feels to purge, clear out your closets and clear space on your calendar for new things to show up in your life. And how great it feels to begin to integrate and let go of limiting beliefs so you can begin to live the vision that is meant for you to live.

Yet, what most often happens is – the space that gets cleared off your plate, can cause all sorts of emotions and anxiety. And, the first inclination – without even being aware it’s happening – is to quickly and effectively get those empty spaces filled-up with more stuff. More to do’s, more have to’s, more places to be, more people to see.

Does this sound familiar?

If it does I understand. I’ve been a long-time member of the ‘heavy expectation’ club too. A club whose members feel if you’re not striving, chasing, and staying motivated and on-track towards something better, then something must be wrong.

What causes this ‘never enough’ syndrome? Well, I’ve found it to be all about expectations- expecting things to be different than what they are – and making it your goal to change that. I joked at the Retreat I recently taught that when I discovered that my modus operandi has always been to try to change ‘what is’ for as long as I can remember, I felt like my reason for being/living was pulled away.

If I’m not supposed to change the present – and make the future better than the past – then what am I supposed to be doing?

To give you an example, this really hit home for me a few weeks back as I was looking at a vision board I had created last year. I wake-up each morning to the sight of these images that I pasted all over a big white piece of poster board – mainly representing things I yearn to do, places I yearn to see, and people I yearn to meet.

And all of a sudden, looking at all the images, I got anxious.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am a big fan of vision boards and am constantly encouraging clients to leverage images, words, and colors to give a voice to your soul. Yet, what I didn’t consider, was, there wasn’t any white space on that vision board for what The Divine had in store for me. I had planned out my whole future – exactly the way it should look and exactly the way I wanted it – leaving no room for The Divine to bring forth a Vision that I could never imagine on my own.

And this is what having balance is all about. Not balance equaling perfection – and having everything be ‘just so’. But balance from the perspective of living everyday with peace of mind knowing that ‘what is’ is what is meant to be right now for your highest good and your future aspirations are about you evolving into your highest potential – and discovering what you’ve been made for.

So, the lesson of this week’s article is to consider what future expectations are weighing you down and feeling heavy – and how much responsibility and pressure you’re putting on yourself to make them happen.

Then, consider relying on a much higher power to begin to orchestrate the vision for your life and work so you can breathe, relax and allow what is next to find you.

Check-out this week’s Worth Work for some action-items to make this practical in your life.

To Your Worth!
Brenda

To Your Worth!
Brenda

The biggest misconception that I see with us humans is: believing we need to change who we are in order to experience what we deeply desire.

That when it comes to our own self-worth, that something must be fixed before we can feel worthy.

But what if nothing needs to be fixed before you feel worthy? What if everything that has happened up until this point is perfect and is in complete alignment with your Divine Plan?

You may be feeling major resistance at this point to even consider this – as you think back over “mistakes” you’ve made, flaws you believe you have, or failures that you’ve endured.

But stick with me in just contemplating and considering this question: What if you’re playing your role perfectly and reading the script you’ve been given to a tee?

Sure, it’s easier to go to the negative programming which wants you to believe that you’ve messed up, it’s all your fault and therefore you aren’t worthy of all the good things you continue to desire.

The negative programming would have you believe that you must change in order to experience what you deeply desire. That you must make-up for some self-perceived lack or “pay your dues” before you can feel worthy to receive.

Sound familiar?

Yet, what if we all continually got better at realizing that life isn’t about changing who we are – or paying dues – or making-up for self-perceived lacks or flaws in our personalities?

What if life is really about allowing the transformation of who we really are to happen? Where our only job is to BECOME open to receiving the love that we’re already worthy of – and accepting it unconditionally?

Tall order for sure – but if you’re ready for life to feel easier – to be easier – where you allow things to come to you easily and effortlessly, then check-out the Worthy Work below to give thought to some new concepts that are intended to rock your world – and help you learn how-to truly Claim Your Worth!®

To Your Worth!
Brenda

To Your Worth!
Brenda

The other morning, during a conversation with a friend, the topic of ambition and the continual chase for more had come up.

My friend was discussing the fact that the continual climb to be better, to achieve goals, and to continually raise the bar, wasn’t working anymore in terms of giving them that fulfilled feeling they normally had experienced.

The conversation reminded me of a Wayne Dyer movie I had watched a few years back:
The Shift. The movie is all about The Shift we all experience where we go from living a life that is all about ambition and succeeding to graduating into a more purposeful life.

In the movie, Wayne explains that The Shift is usually preceded from a “quantum moment” – a moment where we realize there is not only MORE to life – but more to us and what we’re here to contribute.

This is the type of Shift that I see everyday in my work with clients.

Someone will come to me with a “symptom” of wanting to change careers – or wanting to find their purpose, etc. – and end up surprised to learn that what they’re really searching for is a deeper knowledge of themselves –a deeper yearning to know who they really are and what contribution they’re here to make.

When it comes to you discovering your deeper Self – and the contribution you’re here to make – the most important thing to realize is: we each have been given life stories – circumstances, events, and people in our lives who not only shape our lives and help us realize who we really are – but these circumstances also shape and mold what it is that we’re here to contribute to humanity.

Consider the quote above – “The sole meaning of life is to serve humanity.” Imagine that for a minute. Imagine that the real reason why you’re ‘here’ is to make a difference in other people’s lives – with your talents and innate gifts- and others will benefit greatly from it – with or without you even knowing.

Check-out the Worthy Work below where you can begin to discover a deeper understanding of how your life has been – and continues to be – shaped in a way that you’re being served your purpose each and every day – and within those circumstances, lies the clues to your purpose and where you will make your greatest contribution.

To Your Worth!
Brenda

To Your Worth!
Brenda

Lately I’ve been seeing many folks being served curve balls in their life. – events and circumstances that are completely out of their control and are not only challenging, but are forcing them to have some serious Faith.

And the interesting thing about this is – we can’t really know the evolutionary plan for our lives. Sure, we can know where we need to grow, what we want to have, experience and do – but the plan for the evolution of our soul – well, that’s a different story.

In last week’s article, I wrote about the gift of discernment and how every situation, circumstance and person is in your life to evolve your soul.

And oftentimes, if the circumstances, people or events aren’t pleasant – or don’t seem to be what we expect – or we feel things *should* be different, the habit of going into self-blaming mode can rear it’s head.

So, when it comes to looking at your life and learning to trust it, no matter what it throws at you, the KEY is: looking at your life through a spiritually optimistic lens and realizing that you’re being prepared, you’re being led, you’re being guided to your highest plan.

Yet, sometimes, life hurts – it doesn’t always feel good – or feel like this is where you *should* be. So trusting life in the midst of an unexpected event, a challenging relationship, or an adversity that you didn’t plan for can be tough to endure – yet consider that it’s a great gift to your soul to endure it.

Check-out the Worthy Work below to help you learn to trust your life while you decipher what is your responsibility when it comes to what you have control over and can plan for, change and shift – and – what you don’t have control over and what is being planned for you for your own evolution and growth?

To Your Worth!
Brenda

To Your Worth!
Brenda

Judgment gets a bad rap in our society.

You hear people tell us that judging is bad, yet the Truth is: in order to function in life you do need to judge. The key is, knowing what and who to judge.

In other words, judge behavior or the circumstance, but not the motive/heart of it.

Consider this: every situation, every person, every circumstance is in your life to help evolve your soul.

It may not feel like that at the time, but at a deep level, we all know this to be true. So, does this mean that you continue to accept bad behavior, or keep yourself stuck in a situation that you know isn’t for your highest good?

No, it’s actually the complete opposite. When someone or something “tests” you, and it “tests” you greatly, consider the person or circumstance a friend, not a foe.

For your own well-being, you must learn the “The Art of Discernment”, which is to judge people’s behavior or the circumstances, but not the reason/motivation of it. If someone is in your life who has challenged you, take it as an opportunity to learn, to grow, to evolve and to get the lesson – and then, decide what’s in your best interest moving forward.

Sometimes you can change your circumstances and sometimes you can’t. Your job is to look where you can change and control things and take the appropriate action. If you can’t control something that’s challenging to you, consider that the enduring of ‘it’ is a gift to the evolution of your soul, and rather than feeling like you’re being ‘punished’, consider yourself being prepared.

Learning the “Art of Discernment” is a great gift to give yourself because when you’re a compassionate, caring, giving, loving person – you need to know how-to discern what’s in your best interest and what isn’t.

To help you discern situations and others, check-out the Worthy Work below to help you flex and buff your discernment muscle so you can operate more effectively in your life, work and relationships.

To Your Worth!
Brenda

To Your Worth!
Brenda

Seth Godin’s daily blog is one of the few emails I’ve kept subscribed to throughout the years because his content is always pertinent to our times and extremely valuable.

In a post from last week, Seth struck a chord with the statement: “You don’t need a new plan for next year. You need a commitment.”

How true. Before you make a plan, make sure that you’re committed to what you plan to do.

And then, make sure that you’re just as committed to changing course and being flexible to where the path takes you vs. feeling as if you need to control each step because it’s part of your
“plan”.

We all know at a certain level that planning has value – but knowing exactly how things will un-fold is impossible.

More importantly, a plan is valuable only after you’ve committed to achieving the goal.

Therefore the question really is: How do you know what it is that you’re committed to? And how do you know if you’re really committed to the “right things”? The things that are aligned with your deepest values and who you really are and are meant to become?

The Truth is: our commitments show through our actions. We commit to our choices by what we do, not what we say. And even though you may say that you want something to happen, your
commitment will show through the actions you take or the actions that you don’t take.

It’s a simple concept to cognize, but not an easy concept to understand.

The challenging part of the equation is when you
know what you really want,yet you continually take actions that go against that goal.

And when you take actions that are the opposite of your intention – or you don’t take action at all – you feel saddened by the self-betrayal – but confused by why you do it in the first place. It’s as if another part of you takes over and you can’t control what ‘it’ does!

Sound familiar?

Check-out the Worthy Work below where I help you explore how-to become more self-aware of why we all tend to betray ourselves from having what we really want (and deserve)– and how-to understand
what you may be trying to cover-up or run away from vs. embrace and own.

To Your Worth!
Brenda

To Your Worth!
Brenda

This quote above is very profound and one I suggest you may want to print-out and contemplate.

And what a perfect time to contemplate what success really means to you – as we are embarking on another new year – a year full of hope, anticipation, and excitement – and another year
and chance to ‘get it right’.

Yet, trying to be successful, or trying to ‘get it right’, can not only cause loads of pressure, tension and stress – it can also feel really unfulfilling.

Think about it – how many times have you ‘gotten the goal’, achieved something that was important to you, and celebrated it – and then felt a deep pressure and a looming anxiety to figure-out what’s next and how you’ll top what you just did?

The habit of constant ‘bar-raising’ never feels fully fulfilling because it’s about achieving goals on the outside and constantly trying to get vs. learning how to give to life so you
can feel worthy of receiving.

The thing to know is – there is another way to live outside of the goal-oriented society we live in, and another way to view your value and worth in this world.

This other way is a much more simpler, more aware, more meaningful, more joyous, and graceful way to approach and live your life.

And simple doesn’t mean less successful, it simply means – your time feels meaningful to you, you feel at peace no matter what you’re doing, and you know that you’re living in alignment with
your greatest passion and purpose – and that whatever you’re doing, it’s what you’re meant to be doing – and that is what makes you feel successful.

Each year, without us realizing it or not, we all have the same goal – which is to continue to become more self-aware, to continue to transform into our truest, most unique Selves, and to be in
alignment with what the Divine Creator has designed and planned for your life. Realizing what those designs/plans are is the goal – and becoming aware of who you really are,
and being that person, is the process.

Check-out the Worthy Work below to start a bit of that process now – as you take some inventory of what success means to you personally- and how you can become in alignment with what your greatest passions, goals and purpose are.

To Your Worth!
Brenda

To Your Worth!
Brenda

“…to behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefetable”
What a statement huh? Helen Keller certainly had in-sight for sure even though she couldn’t ‘see’ on the outside.

That is very telling considering that most of us are so focused on the external world that we can’t connect with the internal – which is really where all the joy, beauty and magic lives!

Yet, to re-capture our child-like innocence – we must find the strength and courage it takes to live more freely in a world that can feel very limiting and constricted.

This is the challenge – feeling like you’re trapped in a life that is full of everyday mundane responsibilities, when all you really yearn to do is soar to greater heights – and experience more freedom, fun and flexibility with your days.

And, this is what we’ve been discussing in the
December Call Series, how-to get clear and organized in your thought processes for 2012 and learn how you can experience what it is that you really want both in the long-term and short term – and make it a reality in your everyday life.

With the visioning process and thinking outside your present reality, lots of resistance crops-up – where I witness folks trying to think about new possibilities or ‘what could be’ different in their lives – yet getting stuck in wanting and needing to know HOW it will happen!

Yet, as I always say, it isn’t your job to know the HOW.

But, you may ask, what’s the formula for letting go of some control, and also knowing what I’m responsible for and what I’m not?

I posted this comment on Facebook a couple weeks back and wanted to share it with you here: “Do the best you can. Give it your all. Then, let go of the results. Trust that whatever happens is meant to happen for your highest good.”

The comment really resonated with folks.

Why? Because it helps relieve the pressure to have to always KNOW. It helps to lessen the heavy burden of feeling like you’re in 100% control over the results of your life – and if you do something ‘wrong’ or make a mistake, that things could go terribly wrong.

What a relief it is to release the pressure off yourself, do the best you can, and then work in tandem with your Higher Power – who truly does love you and has your best interests at heart – and surrender what you can’t control.

We all want to release control and it sounds beautiful in theory, but how do you do it when you worry and have anxiety and a strong need to feel and be safe? Check-out the Worthy Work below where I give you some tips on how to let things come to you so you can truly Claim Your Worth!®

To Your Worth!
Brenda

Understanding what really motivates you is a process that happens in stages. And, part of that process is learning to distinguish between what it is that you want (aspire to) and what it is that you need (driven by).

I reference Unmet Needsunmet needs often as part of the Claim Your Worth!® process because understanding how needs drive you to take action (and not to take action) is fundamental to your own self-discovery and understanding of what makes you tick.

And the key factor in this is knowing when you want something to happen why it is that you want it.

Most of us don’t know why we want things – the main motivation is usually: I just want things to be different than how they are right now. If you really think about it, most of us were brought-up with the belief that we need to constantly be moving, changing, succeeding because time is running out and if we don’t keep going after the goal, then someone else will get there before you!

Can you relate?

Most people can relate with this after giving it some serious thought because the motivation is based on a rush and a pressure to succeed vs. a calm, relaxed state of restful alertness.

When you’re motivated by a pressure and rush to succeed you’ll know because you have a hard time relaxing and a hard time with simply Being. You struggle with constant feelings of uneasiness and a feeling like you always have to be doing, proving, and achieving.

Consider the following statements and see if they resonate with how you feel on a daily basis:

• I need to…
• I should be…
• I didn’t…
• I must…
• I want to…

If you’re someone who grew-up with a mentality that your worth comes from what you achieve and do vs. who you are and continuously become, then you most likely resonate with the above statements and inner dialogue that won’t let you simply BE.

Check-out the Worthy Work below to delve a bit deeper into tapping into what really motivates you and a better understanding of yourSELF.

To Your Worth!
Brenda