Archive for the ‘Self Confidence & Trust’ Category

Seeking Outside Validation

Posted on Jan 28, 2018 | by Brenda Stanton

Seeking validation from outside sources (other people or material things) – is a clear indication of a lack of self-trust.

In other words, when you don’t trust what you know to be true about you, your circumstances, and your potential – you want to know that others know.

To validate means to make valid, substantiate, confirm.  Imagine the amount of personal power you give away by seeking outside validation.

What if you took that energy you put into seeking other people’s approval – or an accomplishment, credential or whatever – and went within and validated yourself?  Imagine the power and energy you’d gain if you stopped wanting others to recognize you and give you significance.

READ MORE

Negative Thinking – Release The Chains

Posted on Jan 15, 2018 | by Brenda Stanton

“We attract what we are aligned with whether consciously or unconsciously.”

When I read the above statement something clicked in me.  I read it and instantly knew that it is True.  We We attract what we are aligned with – whether we know it or not.

 

And…oftentimes, when it comes to the areas of our lives that are the most important and we want to attract and keep what we truly value – those are the areas that feel so out of grasp, like water slipping through your fingers.

Do you agree?

A client asked me the other day, why is it so easy for me to be calm and attract things that I don’t care much about so effortlessly – but when it comes to what truly matters for me – what is most important, I feel anxious and I overanalyze – and then keep things stuck?

Well, I’ve found through first-hand experience (my own and in collaboration with clients) – the areas we block and create challenges are the areas where we have the deepest wounding – and also the opportunity for the greatest breakthroughs.

READ MORE

Relying On Other People’s Opinions

Posted on Jan 7, 2018 | by Brenda Stanton

I’ve spent a lifetime of relying on other people’s opinions.

Whether it was hiring a career consultant (notice I said consultant, not coach) to tell me what I *should* do based on my skills and background vs. my true passion…to going to a spiritual “guru” to tell me where my life was headed based on reading an astrological chart…

Whatever it was – I’ve had a lifelong habit of believing other people had my answers – and believing they knew better than I did/do.  

But how can someone else know your Truth?  How can someone else know and tell you which direction your life should go?  Is their intuition, knowing, or spiritual connection stronger than yours?  

READ MORE

The Speed of Your Thoughts

Posted on Dec 3, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

I heard the other that day that we humans process 125-250 words per minute when we are communicating with others – whether we’re speaking or are being spoken to.  Yet, when we think in our own minds, we form thoughts that are 1000-3000 words per minute.

Pretty incredible huh?

A couple of lessons come out of this Truth.

Number one is – when you aren’t fully present when you are communicating with another – your mind is very active.  This means that you aren’t listening to what the other is truly saying – but *thinking* about what you’re either going to say next – or making assumptions based on what they’re saying.  In either scenario, you are more in your own mind than you are in the present moment.

Same is true for the second Truth which is – if your mind forms thoughts that quick – and what you think about you bring about in your life – can you imagine how many of those thoughts are negative in nature?  

READ MORE

Why You Self-Sabotage

Posted on Nov 17, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

“Self sabotage is when we say we want something and we go about making sure it doesn’t happen” ~Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby

You know what it is that you deeply want. You have it on a vision board or maybe you’ve written it down.

Regardless of the way in which you’ve formulated your vision, you have a good idea of what you yearn to manifest in your life.

Then why, do you sometimes take two steps forward and one (maybe two, three or twenty!) steps back just when you’re beginning to feel great, make progress and see results?

Self sabotage could be at play.

 

When you find yourself taking steps forward towards your vision and then suddenly, or gradually, find yourself stopping, or backing off considerably – give thought and consideration to there may be a fear of you having what you truly want.

Huh? How can this be? You know what you want, you’ve written it down, you’ve prayed about it, you’ve told your friends and family about it…how could you ever not want what you say you want?

How this can manifest is through a much deeper commitment – the commitment to not losing love and connection with those we care about. In other words, the fear of losing love could be an unconscious driving force.

READ MORE

Trade Your Expectations for Appreciation & Miracles Unfold

Posted on Nov 6, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

“ Trade your expectations for appreciation and your whole life becomes a miracle.”

Sharing another transformational video with this week from the one and only, Tony Robbins. In this short, 30-second video, watch how Tony gives you, what I feel like, is the SHIFT of a lifetime.

READ MORE

Letting Your Life Unfold Naturally

Posted on Oct 15, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

 

Michael Singer, author and spiritual teacher was recently interviewed about his newest book – The Surrender Experiement –  which is  a book that describes Michael’s journey to allowing life to unfold in front of him and be okay with the circumstances – no matter what.  The book describes an incredible journey of not having any complaints of what life threw at him.

In the interview, Michael described more about the journey that he wrote about in the book. Everything he said in the interview resonated with me.  Yet something in particular that he said made me hit pause and take note.  Here it is:

“Most of us think that nothing good is ever going to happen to us unless I make it happen.  We don’t realize we think this way, but we do.  We are scared inside – and we have all these concepts of how things need to be for us to be okay. We think life is a battle, a fight. Thinking life is against me and I need to make it for me.  The Truth is, life does a good job by itself. Life is pretty intelligent. No human interest with the miraculous that life is.”

READ MORE

Thorn In Your Side

Posted on Oct 8, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

“We are constantly trying to hold it all together. If you really want to see why you do things, then don’t do them and see what happens.”  ~Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul:  The Journey Beyond Yourself 

The past few months, and years, I’ve been doing some deep personal/spiritual work.  The work has helped me to get to the ROOT of some issues that I’ve been living with – that I wasn’t even aware that I had.

Michael Singer, in his book, The Untethered Soul, describes these core wounds/issues as thorns.  We can choose to keep them there and do everything in our power to protect and make sure that nothing, and no one, brushes up against them to cause more pain – OR – we can remove them.

Removing them requires that you become aware of what these thorns are – and also, that you have the courage to sit with the pain once you start pulling at them to remove them.
As the quote above states, if you really want to see why you do things, stop doing them and see what happens.  Ouch.  You’ll soon notice that when you stop running and trying to distract yourself, you’ll need to face your “stuff”.

READ MORE

You Have Authority

Posted on Aug 4, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

When you go to different levels in your own growth and evolution, new challenges with “not enough” will inevitably emerge.

I heard someone say the other day “New Level, New Devil.” Very true!

Yet, our “not enoughness” at different levels need not be viewed as a “bad”, but just an opportunity to get closer to your untapped potential and your life’s calling/purpose.

And…like any worthwhile endeavor, you get to SEE and realize your blocks. Otherwise, they stay dormant within and hold you back. Always remember, if you can’t see it, you can’t transform it.

One of the biggest blocks I see with folks in their pursuit to do & BE more in their life, work and relationships, is: Believing they don’t have authority. Authority over your thoughts. Authority over your self-image.

READ MORE

Stuck In Your Story

Posted on Jun 25, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

 

“A come back is not a go back” ~Tim Storey

I was speaking with someone recently who asked me “So when you experienced that hurt at an early-age, who did you tell about it?”  “Nobody” I answered.

What this individual helped me realize is – “Nobody” quickly became my companion in life – that voice in my head who kept me company and helped me create stories about why I *think* things happened and what they meant vs. simply just letting what happened, BE.

And I’ve continued to keep Nobody around for most of my life.  Relying on my mind-made stories to help me decipher events or circumstances and create meaning out of them.   And…when I didn’t have a direct answer, that meaning I made up usually was a negative conclusion vs. a positive one.  This conclusion would then reinforce the limiting story and stories I told myself about why I couldn’t have or experience what I truly wanted.

Only when I allowed myself to be in the NOW – and witness what was/is happening vs. being in my head making up stories about WHY it’s happening, did I become aware of how I limit myself through making up stories.

We all have a story – the question to ask yourself is:  Does your story limit you or liberate you?
READ MORE