Archive for the ‘Self Doubt & FEAR’ Category
You Have What It Takes
“You’ve been given the perfect life to teach what you most need to learn. The greatest teachers are given the greatest challenges. Accept that your life will never be perfect but the circumstances are perfect for you to continually evolve yourself while you continually help to evolve others. ~Me :)
As I discussed in last week’s Note Worthy, the recent Creative Life/Business Retreat that I taught was transformative, not only for the women attending, but for me as well.
I explained to the gals in attendance that I’ve been facing my own resistance around certain areas of life- especially when it comes to the work that I do.
I’ve known for quite some time that a deeper level of sharing is required to help teach these concepts and help others know they aren’t alone on the journey of claiming your worth in all areas of your life.
And, as it has always been so in my case, my life has been perfectly designed to continually learn and challenge myself within the area of self-worth – and – as I’m learning first-hand, the “Worth Work” never ends.
Feeling Less Than Others
“Women are still in emotional bondage as long as we need to worry that we might have to make a choice between being heard and being loved.” ~Marianne Williamson
The common denominator in my work with clients is the consistent theme and pattern that I see with women who yearn to have a voice in the world – to do great work – to be more seen and heard, and to make a difference – yet in their quest to expand and evolve and become more creatively self expressed, there is a holdback – a limit – a fear.
And, after some deeper inquiry, this hold-back boils down to a fear of not wanting to be seen as: bold, full of themselves, arrogant, and conceited.
Therefore, any attempt at any Authentic Self creative expression and forward movement, gets trumped and blocked because – as Marianne Williamson says in the statement above – we feel our lives are an either/or choice – that we must sacrifice one area in order to experience happiness in another.
This is not true but it feels true for many.
Posted in Guilt and Unworthiness, Self Care, Self Confidence & Trust, Self Doubt & FEAR, Self Worth, Self-Sabotage |
Being Your Own Person
“If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise.” ~Johann von Goethe
In order to live the life you were designed to live , it’s critical to understand yourself at the deepest level.
Yet, most of us were taught to cover-up the core of who we are in order
to be accepted by others in both our original family of origin, and our peer groups growing up.
Becoming who you were designed to be is a courageous act because it requires you to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. It requires you to understand that not everyone is going to approve of what you do and who you commit to becoming.
That’s okay, people pleasing is so out-dated.
The most important and courageous act in being your own person is: accepting and loving ALL parts of yourself first and foremost. The parts that you honor and cherish and the parts that you’d rather not look at for fear that they are unacceptable.
I believe we spend way too much time trying to be perfect than being who we’re meant to be.
Posted in Quest for Perfection, Rules and Expectations, Self Confidence & Trust, Self Doubt & FEAR, Self Worth, Self-Sabotage |
Carried Shame & Worthiness
“Your problem is you are too busy holding on to your unworthiness.” ~Ram Dass
In my work with people, the best way I can describe them hovering over a worth issue is when they know what it is that they truly desire and want – yet they struggle with a hold-back – a block of not being able to experience it – and they have no idea why.
The best analogy I heard for this was described by Debbie Ford in one of her books where she said (which I’ll paraphrase): The feeling is like being stuck in a glass capsule. On the outside you can see what it is that you desire. You are close enough to almost touch and taste it – but you’re just far enough away to fully grab on and claim it as yours.
Can you relate with this glass capsule feeling in your own life? Where you desire something to change whether it’s in your work, your relationship(s) or in how you live – but you know you’re hovering over a worth issue, and aren’t really sure what to do with it?
If you can relate, something to consider when it comes to your worthiness challenges is the concept of carried shame.
Overcoming Regrets
“Dwell in possibility” ~Emily Dickinson
When you make the all important decision to live the life you’re destined to live, you will go through a myriad of emotions. One biggie of an emotion is the “should-a, could-a, would-a” effect – where you feel “if only” I had done this – or “if only” they had done that – or “if only” it could of worked out this way.
Having regrets about your past and/or present circumstances, not only hold you back from manifesting your highest vision, but regrets also drain your energy and keep you steeped in old self-defeating programming and patterns.
To regret is to feel a sense of loss, disappointment, and an overall dissatisfaction with a decision or circumstance in your life. These feelings, if you explore them, most likely are repeats of the past and reminders of false beliefs that you aren’t worthy, that you can’t have what you want, and that your dreams will never manifest.
Sound familiar?
Dealing With Your Inner Critic
“It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.” ~Author Unknown
Each day the past tries to creep into all of our minds and remind us of all the reasons why we can’t have what we truly desire or why we can’t be truly happy.
This can show up when you go to dream about a new adventure or endeavor and begin to consider the possibility of it actually happening. And before you know it, your inner critic is right there to remind you of all the reasons why it won’t work.
I remember a time in my life where I didn’t know the difference from my inner critic voice and the voice of my soul. I remember having dreams and things I wished to do, but having this voice inside tell me it will never happen so don’t bother trying.
It wasn’t until I worked with a coach who understood the critical importance of the “inner work”, that I began to compartmentalize my inner critic voice and realize that it wasn’t all of me, it was a part of me, but not all of me.
This revelation of compartmentalizing my inner critic voice from the voice of my heart was huge because I learned how-to deal with it when it cropped up.
Posted in Self Confidence & Trust, Self Doubt & FEAR, Self Worth, Self-Sabotage |
Fear of Change
“Cherish your own emotions and never undervalue them.” ~Robert Henri
It’s inevitable, when you set a strong intention to change your life for the better, all sorts of emotions crop-up that you didn’t expect.
Learning to honor those emotions – all of them – is the KEY to transformation.
Often we don’t realize that our daily lives are playing out patterns from the past – and unconsciously we are each trying to heal old wounds by trying to “do it better” this time around.
And always, when you set a strong intention to experience something new, something better, something different than what you’re used to – painful and very uncomfortable emotions will crop-up.
Again, unconsciously we are more comfortable with the familiar – what we know – what’s predictable.
Change vs. Transformation
“Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.” ~Tony Robbins
The biggest misconception that I see with us humans is: believing we need to change who we are in order to experience what we deeply desire.
That when it comes to our own self-worth, that something must be fixed before we can feel worthy.
But what if nothing needs to be fixed before you feel worthy? What if everything that has happened up until this point is perfect and is in complete alignment with your Divine Plan?
You may be feeling major resistance at this point to even consider this – as you think back over “mistakes” you’ve made, flaws you believe you have, or failures that you’ve endured.
But stick with me in just contemplating and considering this question: What if you’re playing your role perfectly and reading the script you’ve been given to a tee?
Getting Out Of Your Own Way
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable ~Helen Keller
“…to behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefetable”
What a statement huh? Helen Keller certainly had in-sight for sure even though she couldn’t ‘see’ on the outside.
That is very telling considering that most of us are so focused on the external world that we can’t connect with the internal – which is really where all the joy, beauty and magic lives!
Yet, to re-capture our child-like innocence – we must find the strength and courage it takes to live more freely in a world that can feel very limiting and constricted.
This is the challenge – feeling like you’re trapped in a life that is full of everyday mundane responsibilities, when all you really yearn to do is soar to greater heights – and experience more freedom, fun and flexibility with your days.
And, this is what we’ve been discussing in the
December Call Series, how-to get clear and organized in your thought processes for 2012 and learn how you can experience what it is that you really want both in the long-term and short term – and make it a reality in your everyday life.
With the visioning process and thinking outside your present reality, lots of resistance crops-up – where I witness folks trying to think about new possibilities or ‘what could be’ different in their lives – yet getting stuck in wanting and needing to know HOW it will happen!
Yet, as I always say, it isn’t your job to know the HOW.
But, you may ask, what’s the formula for letting go of some control, and also knowing what I’m responsible for and what I’m not?
Posted in Faith and Belief, Self Doubt & FEAR, Self Worth |
Tap Into Your Real Motivations
Little by little one walks far” ~ Peruvian Proverb
Understanding what really motivates you is a process that happens in stages. And, part of that process is learning to distinguish between what it is that you want (aspire to) and what it is that you need (driven by).
I reference Unmet Needsunmet needs often as part of the Claim Your Worth!® process because understanding how needs drive you to take action (and not to take action) is fundamental to your own self-discovery and understanding of what makes you tick.
And the key factor in this is knowing when you want something to happen why it is that you want it.
Most of us don’t know why we want things – the main motivation is usually: I just want things to be different than how they are right now. If you really think about it, most of us were brought-up with the belief that we need to constantly be moving, changing, succeeding because time is running out and if we don’t keep going after the goal, then someone else will get there before you!
Can you relate?


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