Archive for the ‘Self Care’ Category

Measuring Your Self-Worth

Posted on Feb 12, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

“Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is believing you’re worthy of the trip.”
~ Glenn Beck from the book The Christmas Sweater

A couple years back I ran a program to help business women learn how-to charge what they’re worth for their services/products.

The program, as with all the Claim Your Worth!® “work”, was all about the inner shifts vs. the outer shifts.

The women who took the course realized this – when you shift how you feel about YOU and your circumstances, the outside shifts dramatically.

Part of these realizations included an initial intake exercise entitled: How Deserving Do You Feel? that I gave the women. Here it is:

Take out a blank piece of paper and turn it to face you horizontally.

Then, draw a line across the page horizontally. On the far left of the page, write the number 1 and the word “Bad Person” next to it. Then, on the far right of the page, write the number 100 with the word “Good Person” next to it.

Then, look at your scale and notice to the far left is a totally “bad person”, and to the far right is a totally “good person”.

Then, ask yourself – where do I fall?

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Feeling Trapped In A Past Pattern

Posted on Oct 16, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

“You hold the key to set yourself free. Will you weild this magical power to unlock yourself from the past or keep yourself trapped in it?

birdoutsidecage

When you feel trapped in a past pattern where you know you want things to change, but you can’t seem to figure out how to bring about that change – you feel powerless and stuck.

What can make this feel even worse is, seeing everyone in the outside world going about their existence – and witnessing others experiencing what you want.

This is frustrating to say the least – and certainly disempowering as you begin to hear the negative thoughts creep in: How come they can and I can’t?

How can this be when you use the law of attraction in other areas of your life – and you witness what you think about coming about?

Yes, the law of attraction is exactly that – law. It works every time.

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Looking for your worth in all the wrong places…

Posted on Aug 7, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

“Sometimes I think I feel unworthy.” A good friend of mine said the other day.

“Oh I can relasparklerphotote to that!” I replied.

“Doesn’t it suck?” He said.

I laughed and thought – he couldn’t have chosen better words to describe what feeling unworthy feels like.  It sucks!

That’s why most of us try our best to cover up that sucky feeling and chase something outside of us which we hope will fulfill the void and heal the “worth wound”.

Searching, seeking, looking outside of yourself for the next “thing”. Or maybe the next relationship or exciting experience will give you the feeling you seek.
The Truth is – seeking outside solutions fo an inside knowing will always turn up empty.

Yet, what you need to know is – you aren’t empty. There is a fullness and a uniqueness so deep within you – that if you’d turn within, you’d be discovering all the amazing aspects to you for the rest of your life – for eons really.

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However, society doesn’t teach us this. We’re taught – worthiness is about appearances. Look the part. Act the part. Possess the things that will support the part. And you’re golden.

Prove, convince, influence, impress – this is the name of society’s worth game.

But, the Truth is – worthiness doesn’t have a barometer attached to it. It doesn’t have a pot of gold at the end of the long life rainbow where finally, after enough paying your dues, then you will finally feel it.

Most importantly, Worth isn’t fleeting. It never leaves you. It IS you. Period.

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When Your Self Worth Feels Fleeting

Posted on Jul 20, 2015 | by Brenda Stanton

Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. ~Steve Jobs

The other day while googling around, I discovered an empowering and inspirational speech in the unlikeliest (or so I thought) of places and with the unlikeliest (again wrong again) of people – Amy Schumer.  

You most likely know about Amy – she’s comedy’s “it” girl right now.  She has a new movie out called Train Wreck and is seriously one of the funniest (and raunchiest) comedians I’ve ever seen.

 

Yet, as you’ll see in this speech that she gave at the Gloria Awards and Gala – which was hosted by the Ms. Foundation for Women – this woman has lots to say – and, in my opinion, is a true role model for Claiming Your Worth.  

Click Here to read a transcript of the speech. It’s long but so worth the read. Also, *WARNING* if you’re easily offended by some sexual content – and want to skip the back story, simply read my notes below – not as contextual but think you’ll still get lots out of it.  

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The Power of Personal Productivity

Posted on Jan 26, 2015 | by Brenda Stanton

“Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back.” ~Harvey MacKay

Last week I spoke about the importance of keeping your dreams alive and the concept of making sure your dreams don’t fall to the back burner.

Yet, how does that actually happen when you have a bunch of screaming priorities in your everyday life that you’re trying to juggle?

One suggestion I made was to – Spend 1 Hour Each Day On Your Dream.

Easier said than done, I know.

Yet, it is possible.

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Caring for Yourself vs. Fixing Yourself

Posted on Oct 27, 2014 | by Brenda Stanton

“Coaching doesn’t make sick people well…it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary.” ~Thomas Leonard

Last week I had a conversation with a close friend of mine about how we all can get into the trap of self-help addiction and believing that – paying attention to your growth and evolution means fixing yourself.

In other words, there is something wrong with you that needs to be “helped”, (a.k.a. self-help).

Not true. There isn’t anything wrong with you – and nothing that needs to be “fixed”.

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Feeling Un-Valued: A Real Life Example

Posted on Apr 7, 2014 | by Brenda Stanton

“We teach people how to treat us. You either teach people to treat you with dignity and respect, or you don’t.” ~Dr. Phil

Last weekend I scheduled a very long over-due facial. It’s sad to think about how long it had been – perhaps 4-5 years since I’ve had one? Yikes! Yet, 2014 has been a year where I’ve committed to certain acts of self-care (massages, facials, etc.) – and have stopped defining them a luxury and made them a necessity for feeling good.

Needless to say, I was excited while I sat in the waiting area of the spa – and looking forward to receiving some much needed pampering.

The esthetician eventually came out to greet me. Immediately I felt weird in my body as the initial encounter felt odd and cold.

No warm greeting. No hand-shake. Just a simple statement: “Are you Brenda?” she said. “Yes.” I replied. Then she walked away. I assumed she expected me to follow her? I shrugged it off, got up to follow her, and turned the corner to find her joking around with the receptionist. She turned around looking annoyed, as if to remember she now needed to work, and opened the door to the back area.

I thought to myself: “This doesn’t feel right. I don’t like her energy. This isn’t what I envisioned for being pampered and able to have some serious down-time. I’m feeling stressed, uncomfortable and annoyed.”

But, once again, I shrugged it off and thought to myself that I was just over reacting. I made myself believe I was being overly sensitive and I must be imagining this whole encounter.

A very bad habit of mine has been always believing it’s me, not them.

Being an intuitive, sensitive person, I’ve been a pro at taking on other people’s “stuff” and trying to make them feel better and more comfortable. I realize now that I’ve done this because I learned from a very early-age that I needed to become who “they” wanted me to be in order to receive any morsel of love or acceptance.

Needless to say, this is a habit that I am consciously breaking – no more taking responsibility for “stuff” that isn’t mine.

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Small Steps Matter

Posted on Mar 17, 2014 | by Brenda Stanton

“There is no one giant step that does it, it’s a lot of little steps.” ~Peter Cohen

As I mentioned in last week’s article, ff you’re creative, you’re most likely impatient.

Impatient to make things happen. Impatient to allow things to happen. Impatient to realize your full potential.

You most likely feel – each and every day – that you need to “get there” – wherever “there” is – you need to be there, pronto.

What most of us aren’t taught however is that there is no “there” – there is no destination that once we get to it, it’s all done.

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Who You Surround Yourself With

Posted on Dec 2, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” ~Jim Rohn

This year in particular has been an interesting one for sure – and one in which has shown me much Truth on the importance of relationships and who you choose to surround yourself with.

In looking back over the years, I can see first-hand how many of my holdbacks in life – and what felt like barriers to moving forward with things I yearned to do, had to do with the fear of upsetting people around me – and in-turn, losing their love.

Can you relate?

Most of us have a deep down fear of not only disappointing others, but more accurately, having them abandon you if you change.

What I’ve learned is: relationships cannot be a default in your life. You can’t simply allow people to be around you just because they’ve been around you for years.

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You Deserve More Than Average

Posted on Nov 25, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

““When you focus on being a blessing, God makes sure that you are always blessed in abundance.” ~~ Joel Osteen” ~Joel Osteen

The other day a very good friend and I were having a conversation about learning to receive MORE than you need. My friend was explaining that she’s been reading a new book, Break Out, by Joel Osteen.

My friend described how Joel speaks about the fact that what we ask for we receive. If we ask with a cup we’ll receive a cup’s worth. If we ask with a barrel we’ll receive a barrel’s worth.

This discussion got me thinking about it is true that most of us, not even knowing why, limit what we feel we deserve or can have.

Oftentimes, this is due to what I see as having a mindset that if you have “enough”, you never need “more than enough”.

Think about it, how comfortable would you be if you had much more than what you needed? Initially you may think to yourself, “That would be great to live in a state of abundance!”

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