Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

Feeling Trapped In A Past Pattern

Posted on Oct 16, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

“You hold the key to set yourself free. Will you weild this magical power to unlock yourself from the past or keep yourself trapped in it?

birdoutsidecage

When you feel trapped in a past pattern where you know you want things to change, but you can’t seem to figure out how to bring about that change – you feel powerless and stuck.

What can make this feel even worse is, seeing everyone in the outside world going about their existence – and witnessing others experiencing what you want.

This is frustrating to say the least – and certainly disempowering as you begin to hear the negative thoughts creep in: How come they can and I can’t?

How can this be when you use the law of attraction in other areas of your life – and you witness what you think about coming about?

Yes, the law of attraction is exactly that – law. It works every time.

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How You Parent Yourself

Posted on Oct 2, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton
Have you ever given thought to how you parent yourself and what your own parent (whether they were physically in your life or not) demonstrated to you about your own sense of self worth?
Notice that I said “sense” of self worth because most of us don’t realize that the way we witness how others interact with us – especially when we’re young and super impressionable  – is how we form our sense of self worth and value in your world.

kidwithson

This doesn’t mean that others give you a sense of value or worth – it’s how you interpret their actions that you make your own assumptions and decisions.  Then, these assumptions get internalized and form beliefs about yourself that most likely still hold true for you today.  
They key thing to realize about parents is – whatever you witnessed not only with how they treated you – but how they treated themselves, got internalized to how you treat you.
This isn’t obvious because most of us make very clear decisions at some point in life to say – I will NEVER be like my mother or father – or both!  Then, you work really hard to become the opposite of them…and you most likely became successful at being the opposite.
Yet, have you ever found yourself saying something to someone else that sounds alot like one of your parents?

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Looking for your worth in all the wrong places…

Posted on Aug 7, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

“Sometimes I think I feel unworthy.” A good friend of mine said the other day.

“Oh I can relasparklerphotote to that!” I replied.

“Doesn’t it suck?” He said.

I laughed and thought – he couldn’t have chosen better words to describe what feeling unworthy feels like.  It sucks!

That’s why most of us try our best to cover up that sucky feeling and chase something outside of us which we hope will fulfill the void and heal the “worth wound”.

Searching, seeking, looking outside of yourself for the next “thing”. Or maybe the next relationship or exciting experience will give you the feeling you seek.
The Truth is – seeking outside solutions fo an inside knowing will always turn up empty.

Yet, what you need to know is – you aren’t empty. There is a fullness and a uniqueness so deep within you – that if you’d turn within, you’d be discovering all the amazing aspects to you for the rest of your life – for eons really.

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However, society doesn’t teach us this. We’re taught – worthiness is about appearances. Look the part. Act the part. Possess the things that will support the part. And you’re golden.

Prove, convince, influence, impress – this is the name of society’s worth game.

But, the Truth is – worthiness doesn’t have a barometer attached to it. It doesn’t have a pot of gold at the end of the long life rainbow where finally, after enough paying your dues, then you will finally feel it.

Most importantly, Worth isn’t fleeting. It never leaves you. It IS you. Period.

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Shifting Invisible Patterns

Posted on May 4, 2015 | by Brenda Stanton

“If I could change one thing for women, it would be helping them to believe they have the inner strength they need to make their lives better.” -Alice Domar, Ph. D.

In the world of self improvement, achieving goals and pursuing your dreams – you’ve most likely bumped up against patterns that you see transpire over and over again in your life.

Maybe you see in a pattern in your romantic relationships – where no matter who you’re dating, the same issues and patterns show up. Same person just a different pair of pants.

Or, maybe you see it in your work – you may go into a different job, or a different position – and find yourself feeling frustrated and undervalued. You feel like you just took a different seat on the titanic.

It’s a beautiful thing when you can actually realize and see a pattern because then, once you’re aware, you can change it and begin making different choices – more empowering choices.

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Who You Surround Yourself With

Posted on Dec 2, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” ~Jim Rohn

This year in particular has been an interesting one for sure – and one in which has shown me much Truth on the importance of relationships and who you choose to surround yourself with.

In looking back over the years, I can see first-hand how many of my holdbacks in life – and what felt like barriers to moving forward with things I yearned to do, had to do with the fear of upsetting people around me – and in-turn, losing their love.

Can you relate?

Most of us have a deep down fear of not only disappointing others, but more accurately, having them abandon you if you change.

What I’ve learned is: relationships cannot be a default in your life. You can’t simply allow people to be around you just because they’ve been around you for years.

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