Archive for the ‘Quest for Perfection’ Category

The Exhaustion of Trying To Be Good Enough

Posted on Mar 16, 2015 | by Brenda Stanton

“If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, you have already forgotten your value.” ~Unknown

It never ceases to amaze me how much each week provides themes that clients are going through and that I go through in my own life as well.

This week’s theme was something that you may have been feeling as well which is: The Exhaustion of Trying to Be Good Enough.

This is almost always an unconscious thing – but the symptoms show-up in the way that you feel heavy, bogged down and tired.

For example, when you have a vision or a dream – and yearn for something different than what you’ve experienced to date – just the mere thought of trying to make this happen – leaves you feeling absolutely exhausted.

A familiar voice in your head will no doubt crop-up telling “Don’t even bother trying because you’ll never measure up anyway.”


The Power of Personal Productivity

Posted on Jan 26, 2015 | by Brenda Stanton

“Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back.” ~Harvey MacKay

Last week I spoke about the importance of keeping your dreams alive and the concept of making sure your dreams don’t fall to the back burner.

Yet, how does that actually happen when you have a bunch of screaming priorities in your everyday life that you’re trying to juggle?

One suggestion I made was to – Spend 1 Hour Each Day On Your Dream.

Easier said than done, I know.

Yet, it is possible.


Fear of Being Seen

Posted on Nov 17, 2014 | by Brenda Stanton

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when you are brave enough to explore the darkness will you discover the infinite power of our light.” ~Brené Brown

Amy Cuddy’s Ted Talk shows you how to literally take up space in the world.

I highly recommend practicing some of the postures (as she suggests in private) and accessing how you feel inside yourself.

Then, access how you’d feel outside in the world.


Giving Your Worth Away

Posted on May 5, 2014 | by Brenda Stanton

Giving your worth away is like sliding all your power across a table and asking someone else – am I good enough?

If you really think about it – we’ve all been taught to give our power away and rely on feeling good about ourselves from what others think. As kids we do this with the authority figures in our lives – looking up at them – smaller and shorter – and thinking: Am I enough?

This habit gets transferred to our adult lives in many ways also – not only when it comes to our personal worth – how we feel about ourselves, our capabilities, talents, what we have, don’t have, etc. – but also our spiritual worth – our relationship with Source – our creator.

I had honestly never made the distinction, until recently, between personal worth and spiritual worth – but the distinction does help – especially when you’re a spiritual seeker and in need of deeper answers to where your life is not only going, but what it’s all for.

And, what I find happening with so many, especially in this “New Age” – is carrying the habit of handing power over to others – others who claim to have your answers – others who claim to know where your life is going – and what your destiny is.

Trust me, I’ve gone to many a psychic looking for not only my answers and life path, asking them with the utmost sincerity – is it all going to work out? In other words, tell me, does God really have my back?


Trying To Predict Your Future

Posted on Aug 19, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we are all in this together.” ~Dr. Brene Brown

When I started out with my life/career coaching practice over 7 years ago, I was excited about all the tools and resources I had gained that I could provide to clients to help them improve their lives.

Still, to this day, I utilize these same practical, foundational resources to assist clients with improving the quality of their life through life balance, dealing with self-doubt, and finding their confidence and courage to pursue your heart’s desires.

Yet, what’s becoming so prevalent in the Claim Your Worth!® process and evolution is: its one thing to teach you how-to overcome self-doubt with finding your inner confidence and facing the fear and doing it anyway.

It’s another thing all together to teach you how-to deal with the uncertainties of life and the absolute certainty that there are no guarantees.

Yikes! No guarantees? What do you mean no guarantees?


Carried Shame

Posted on Jun 28, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“Your problem is you are too busy holding on to your unworthiness.” ~Ram Dass

In my work with people, the best way I can describe them hovering over a worth issue is when they know what it is that they truly desire and want – yet they struggle with a hold-back – a block of not being able to experience it – and they have no idea why.

The best analogy I heard for this was described by Debbie Ford in one of her books where she said (which I’ll paraphrase): The feeling is like being stuck in a glass capsule. On the outside you can see what it is that you desire. You are close enough to almost touch and taste it – but you’re just far enough away to fully grab on and claim it as yours.

Can you relate with this glass capsule feeling in your own life? Where you desire something to change whether it’s in your work, your relationship(s) or in how you live – but you know you’re hovering over a worth issue, and aren’t really sure what to do with it?

If you can relate, something to consider when it comes to your worthiness challenges is the concept of carried shame.

Carried shame is when you are holding onto to someone else’s stuff. It’s a feeling of overwhelming responsibility for something that you feel guilty of – but you aren’t sure what you did that was so wrong.


Letting Go Of Control

Posted on Jun 17, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” ~Serenity Prayer

If you’re someone who has a strong need to feel in control of your life, your circumstances, your finances, your success, your relationships, your household, other people, the weather, etc. – you are definitely not alone.

The other day I found myself in major over-thinking, analysis paralysis mode – thinking things through – and trying to know an outcome that couldn’t possibly be known, yet.

So as I sat there in my car stopped at a red light (I usually have major epiphanies in the car by the way), I noticed a car up ahead of me with the back window down and a child’s hand hanging out the window. They were waving a white tissue out the car window and simply allowing it to blow in the wind.

These mini-miracles never cease to amaze me and the other day was no different. I got the message loud and clear…”Wave the white flag Brenda. Hand it over. Let it go.” Which I did and I felt much better, much more free, more joyful and calm. Come to think of it, I don’t even remember what I was ruminating about that day – and it was only two days ago!

As I’ve written in other articles unmet needs drive us – they unconsciously motivate us to take action, or, to not take action.

This is why delving deeper into what’s motivating you to do what you do is so critical because once you get beyond your basic needs and realize where they truly get met, you set yourself free to experience more joy and love in your life.


Feeling Invisible

Posted on Jun 10, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“Can you see me? Can you hear me? Does anything I say mean anything to you?”
― Oprah Winfrey

I remember one of the greatest Christmas gifts I ever received was from my sister when she bought me years back. Oprah’s 20th Anniversary DVD

What a gift it was to be able to watch episodes that Oprah and her team selected as the best and the most provocative and insightful. If you don’t have it, I highly recommend having a copy for your library – it’s a great resource to have on-hand.

There was one show in particular that stood out to me – actually it was more about what Oprah said about the show that mattered the most. She summed it up by saying in all her years of interviewing people – that what everyone wants to know is: Do You See Me?

That statement stuck with me up until this day because it’s so powerful and so true.

“Do you see me?” means so much more than in the literal sense of being seen. Sure you see folks wear bright colors or a sexy outfit, but this is a different kind of seeing – a seeing that goes beyond the surface and the exterior to – do you see me for who I really am – as a unique individual – okay just as I am – imperfections and all?


What Others Think Of You

Posted on Apr 29, 2013 | by Brenda Stanton

“Other people’s opinions of you – whether positive or negative – are fleeting. Your opinion of you is the one that needs to take precedence.”

The other day I was walking around my home and heard a familiar sound…the sound of my ankles cracking.

Ever since I can remember I recall my ankles cracking.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that having your ankles crack is a fairly common thing so, I’ve learned to accept it and not let it bother me.

When I was younger though, my ankles cracking did bother me – a lot.

I remember the day like it was yesterday. I was a freshman in high school and a group of us were sitting in a circle asking our gym teacher questions about our health.

I innocently asked in front of the group – “My ankles crack when I walk – do you know why that is?”

My gym teacher put one hand over the side of his mouth, as if to try to hide what he was saying to the group, but still being loud enough for all my peers to hear him, when he said: “Why don’t you try losing some weight.”

Ugh. “Did he really just have to say that in front of everyone?” I thought quietly to myself.


You Have What It Takes

Posted on Sep 20, 2012 | by Brenda Stanton

“You’ve been given the perfect life to teach what you most need to learn. The greatest teachers are given the greatest challenges. Accept that your life will never be perfect but the circumstances are perfect for you to continually evolve yourself while you continually help to evolve others. ~Me :)

As I discussed in last week’s Note Worthy, the recent Creative Life/Business Retreat that I taught was transformative, not only for the women attending, but for me as well.

I explained to the gals in attendance that I’ve been facing my own resistance around certain areas of life- especially when it comes to the work that I do.

I’ve known for quite some time that a deeper level of sharing is required to help teach these concepts and help others know they aren’t alone on the journey of claiming your worth in all areas of your life.

And, as it has always been so in my case, my life has been perfectly designed to continually learn and challenge myself within the area of self-worth – and – as I’m learning first-hand, the “Worth Work” never ends.