“Life is accepting what is and working from that.” ~Gloria Naylor

Accepting “what is” is probably the hardest thing for us to do. Afterall, isn’t the purpose of life to change what is?

Unconsciously – the collective belief “out there” in our world is to constantly change and improve our circumstances, ourselves, relationships, etc – whatever it is – we are taught that it isn’t good enough as is.

We are taught through a variety of mediums (especially advertisers), that we must change in order to be happier, fulfilled and living the good life.

But is that true? Is it true that your happy life and great future exist somewhere out there – in fantasy land?

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“If you don’t set a baseline standard for what you’ll accept in life, you’ll find it’s easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes or a quality of life that’s far below what you deserve.” ~Tony Robbins

I remember reading somewhere a long time ago that a high quality of life has to do with what you take off your plate than what you add onto it. I agreed with the statement at the time I read it, and as I’ve gotten older, it’s become much more relevant to my own life and also the lives of the people I coach and teach.

Removing things off your plate both externally in your outer world, and internally in your inner world is truly the KEY to living authentically. We all know how awesome it feels to purge, clear out your closets and clear space on your calendar for new things to show up in your life. And how great it feels to begin to integrate and let go of limiting beliefs so you can begin to live the vision that is meant for you to live.

Yet, what most often happens is – the space that gets cleared off your plate, can cause all sorts of emotions and anxiety. And, the first inclination – without even being aware it’s happening – is to quickly and effectively get those empty spaces filled-up with more stuff. More to do’s, more have to’s, more places to be, more people to see.

Does this sound familiar?

If it does I understand. I’ve been a long-time member of the ‘heavy expectation’ club too. A club whose members feel if you’re not striving, chasing, and staying motivated and on-track towards something better, then something must be wrong.

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“That’s been one of my mantras – focus and simplicity. Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.” ~Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs statement above says it perfectly –“Simple can be harder than complex”.
Very true, especially when you’re creative person who has a ton of great ideas on how you can express yourself and do all the things that you yearn to do.

So, why is it so hard to pick something to focus on when you’re really creative and have lots of ideas? Why do you sometimes (or all the time perhaps) give in to doing nothing vs. taking action on something?

I’ve found 3 main areas which include:

• Fear of Failure: the fear that you may fail and try something that doesn’t work out
• Fear of Sacrifice: the in-ability to choose something to take action on because you fear you’ll have to give-up the other things you yearn to do as well
• Fear of “How”: not knowing all the details and how-to’s on how something will happen and yearning to have an A-Z plan to create complete certainty.

Again, as Steve Jobs says: “Simple can be harder than complex”. Your mind yearns to KNOW, to have all the answers, to crave certainty – and if it doesn’t get all these aspects fed, then it won’t take any action at all.

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If you’ve been trying unsuccessfully to change a habit, understand that there is usually one hidden advantage or liking for that particular behavior just below your conscious
awareness.” ~Hale Dwoskin

As we begin the process of wrapping up 2011, the next few weeks are critical to helping you get clear on your intentions for 2012.

And, as with every visioning and planning process, it’s so vital to know not only what it is that you yearn to achieve in the new year, but why you yearn to achieve certain things and to have certain experiences.

Consider this definition of who we become based on our habits according to Steven Covey – Author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: “Our character is a composite of our habits, which form a powerful factor in our lives. Because habits are consistent, unconscious patterns, they constantly express our character and produce our effectiveness and ineffectiveness.”

Covey goes on to say in his book that habits have a strong gravitational pull – and breaking deeply imbedded habitual tendencies, (that most of us consider as “bad”) such as; procrastination, impatience, criticalness and selfishness – involve more than just mere willpower.

What you need in order to break deeply imbedded habits that you know are holding you back is: awareness. Awareness of why you have the habits to begin with…and what you’re gaining from having them.

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The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do. ~Sarah Ban Breathnach

This past weekend I facilitated a workshop with a fabulous group of creative, soulful, ambitious, smart women who all have one thing in common: the desire to live a creative, meaningful life – which encompasses more flexibility, freedom, and FUN!

And the key aspect that goes along with experiencing more flexibility, freedom and fun in your life and work is really a feeling that we all crave – fluidity. The ability to live life in union with your soul – where everyday you take action that feels productive and peaceful.

Imagine that for a moment –to feel productive and peaceful at the same time. Interesting concept for sure – but one that may feel foreign as most of us were taught that to get results, to achieve success, to have anything “pay-off”, that hard work was the value to prioritize in your life.

Yet, for a creative soul that craves MORE – more space, more time, more authentic success – in life and work – the peace along with the productivity have to be absolute yes’s in order to be aligned fully with what you’re here to “do” and be.

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“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” ~Serenity Prayer

If you’re someone who has a strong need to feel in control of your life, your circumstances, your finances, your success, your relationships, your household, other people, the weather, etc. – you are definitely not alone.

The other day I found myself in major over-thinking, analysis paralysis mode – thinking things through – and trying to know an outcome that couldn’t possibly be known, yet.

So as I sat there in my car stopped at a red light (I usually have major epiphanies in the car by the way), I noticed a car up ahead of me with the back window down and a child’s hand hanging out the window. They were waving a white tissue out the car window and simply allowing it to blow in the wind.

These mini miracles never cease to amaze me and the other day was no different. I got the message loud and clear…”Wave the white flag Brenda. Hand it over. Let it go.” Which I did and I felt much better, much more free, more joyful and calm. Come to think of it, I don’t even remember what I was ruminating about that day – and it was only two days ago!

As I’ve written in other articles unmet needs drive us – they unconsciously motivate us to take action, or, to not take action.

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“Time is God’s way of keeping everything from happening at once” ~Anon

I encourage you to read the quote above again and really think about it.

Then consider this: what if the statement is True – and that time is just a boundary in which we base our life around – to keep everything from happening at once?

If we all truly believed the above quote to be True, how would you then look at your time?

Would you stop being so hard on yourself and allow things to happen rather than always feeling like you need to make them happen? Would you give yourself a break and stop beating yourself up for all the stuff that needs to get done and say it will get done, in it’s right time?

But then, you might say to yourself: “But how will I reach my potential, achieve my goals, and get everything done that needs to get done, in order to ‘get there’, if I’m not pushing myself to do it ALL”?

Sound familiar?

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“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” ~Steve Jobs

Time is our greatest commodity. It’s a true gift to have more time for yourself, your life, and with your family, as well as having the time to continually pursue and succeed at your creative passions via your career.

Yet, what most don’t realize is – what you value in life is displayed by two main things. First, what you spend your money on. And second, how you spend your time.

Have you ever taken inventory of what you spent your money on in one month, maybe an entire year? If so, what did you discover? What about taking inventory of your time? Where you spend it? Who you spend it with? Doing what sorts of activities?

Now, the biggest question of all is to ask yourself: Is where I invest (a.k.a. spend) my money and where I invest (a.k.a. spend) my time, in-line with what I care most about in life? In other words, are my actions congruent with my heart?

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“Trust the instinct to the end, though you can render no reason” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The other day I couldn’t make up my mind.

I had decided to leave a meeting early, but then, I doubted my decision. You should have seen me in the parking lot as I got into my car, then doubted myself, headed back inside, doubted myself again, and got back in my car! Honestly it’s true. It must have been a funny sight to watch –if anyone was in fact – watching!

Yet, it was such a great example of what I feel so many do on a daily basis when it comes to making either simple or complex decisions – doubt yourself vs. trust yourself.

I’m sure you know what it feels like to regret a decision that you made. You most likely fretted over it for weeks, months, maybe even years. But, have you ever given your Self credit for the decisions that turned out great?

Most of us tend to forget to acknowledge when things go right and the decisions that we make actually turn out okay. It’s a rare thing if you find somebody acknowledging themselves for a great decision as many times as you’ll find somebody beating themselves up for one that goes awry.

When I made the decision to leave the meeting the other day I did so because it’s what my intuition told me to do. I simply went with the impulse. Then, when I got into my car, my head wreaked havoc on me – telling me I shouldn’t have left early. What if someone was looking for me after and I wasn’t there? What if someone found out that I left before the event was over? What if this, what if that.

Ugh. Self-doubt sucks!

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“Let the credit card companies market as they will, the only thing that’s priceless is Now.”
~ Caleb Baylor Hive

In my home I have a beautiful picture hanging in a place where I see it everyday that states: “Live For Today”. It’s a beautiful reminder to focus on the now – and not get caught in the past or the future. Nice concept – yet not an ‘easy’ one to implement and make practical in a world where we need to get things done, accomplish, plan for the future, pay a mortgage, etc.

Yet, I’ve found, that “Living For Today”, and allowing yourself to soak in the now – and trust in the now – and have faith in the future – is truly the only way to experience inner peace, joy and fulfillment.

And what I always reiterate to clients I work with, who are ambitious, can-do, go-getters who are also at a point of exhaustion and overwhelm – and are ready to have life be easier is: your Type-A personality has given you a great gift – and that gift is – a very buff, curvy, beautiful muscle that knows how to produce, accomplish and get things done.

Now, it’s time to begin the process of buffing a different muscle – your feminine, free-flowing, trusting in the future, and trusting that you’re supported, muscle.
Again, easy concept ‘on paper’, yet trying to implement into your life, can be a totally different story.

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