Archive for the ‘Living For Today’ Category

Stuck In Your Story

Posted on Jun 25, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

 

“A come back is not a go back” ~Tim Storey

I was speaking with someone recently who asked me “So when you experienced that hurt at an early-age, who did you tell about it?”  “Nobody” I answered.

What this individual helped me realize is – “Nobody” quickly became my companion in life – that voice in my head who kept me company and helped me create stories about why I *think* things happened and what they meant vs. simply just letting what happened, BE.

And I’ve continued to keep Nobody around for most of my life.  Relying on my mind-made stories to help me decipher events or circumstances and create meaning out of them.   And…when I didn’t have a direct answer, that meaning I made up usually was a negative conclusion vs. a positive one.  This conclusion would then reinforce the limiting story and stories I told myself about why I couldn’t have or experience what I truly wanted.

Only when I allowed myself to be in the NOW – and witness what was/is happening vs. being in my head making up stories about WHY it’s happening, did I become aware of how I limit myself through making up stories.

We all have a story – the question to ask yourself is:  Does your story limit you or liberate you?
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Fate vs. Destiny

Posted on Jun 11, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

We all have a story we tell ourselves about how worthy or unworthy we feel based on past and current circumstances.

And, most everyone looks to create something in the future to transcend the circumstances that made you (or are making you) feel unworthy…and….hold onto the circumstances that you feel give you worth.

But have you ever considered that trying to create your life keeps you stuck in what you *think* you *should* do and have vs. allowing what is meant for you to happen?

The past two years have opened my own eyes to how mind driven I’ve been.  How, even though, I’ve been following spiritual practice and “teachers”, I was still more committed to giving my mind the power and trying to control what happens vs. allowing what is meant to happen, happen.

What I’m continuing to realize is: my mind doesn’t have the insight and Truth that my soul does.  In Truth, my mind doesn’t know my destiny.  My mind only knows my fate based on the story I tell myself about myself and my current & past life circumstances.  

Have you ever considered that you tell yourself a story about your own worth without realizing that you’re the one telling the story, not life?

I used to *think* (a.k.a. tell myself) that I just had bad luck in certain areas of my life – and that the reason things weren’t changing or manifesting in the direction I wanted them to go was because…and then insert whatever story line here that my mind told me about my circumstances.  I used to *think* life was working against me, not for me.

But then, I realized that I have a story teller that is focused on creating meaning and significance with events that I took to mean this or that about me and my worthiness.  If this happened it meant this.  Or if that happened it must mean this.

I hadn’t considered that I could just let an event or circumstance happen and BE without putting a judgement on it….

We’re taught that the outer world is a direct reflection of our worthiness and if we don’t have everything that others do – then, well, it must mean they are more deserving or whatever the story is that you may tell yourself.

But the Truth is – the mind/ego is solely focused on comparison and it’s favorite thing to do is measure your worth in comparison with someone else’s.  This only causes suffering and keeps you stuck in that same limiting story.  And, your worth can never be measured.  Ever.

What if, in order to allow your destiny, you decide that you’ll become aware of the story you tell yourself about yourself (and others and life, etc.) and not buy into it – simply witness it as a story – as just words. Can you imagine the freedom that would create in your life?  Can you imagine the unlimited possibilities?

Your story keeps you stuck.

If you’re ready to ditch that story – rather than tell yourself a new one about how worthy you really are, make a choice to just let what is BE…no judgement.  Just let it be without telling yourself that it *means* something about you.

This approach is true for “good” circumstances as much as it is for “bad” circumstances because no matter what, the other shoe will drop.  We live in a duality world – where polarity rules the day.  One day it rains  – another day the sun is out.

Have you ever questioned mother nature about what the weather means?  Or, even said to mother nature, don’t rain today.  No, because you know you aren’t in control of mother nature.  And, you being part of nature, what if you aren’t in control of your destiny either?  What if, the greatest vision you could you ever experience for your life was in the not knowing vs. the knowing?  What if being NOW and accepting what comes IS your purpose?

Lots to contemplate!  And much more to come in future articles on this approach to life.

 

What does your self worth depend on?

Posted on Mar 11, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

To depend means to rely on and put trust in.  Now ask yourself what does your self worth depend on?

Most of us were taught early-on that in order to have self worth, we need to depend on and put trust in our outer circumstances.  Where what happens to us dicates if we feel like enough or not.  

Living life this way feels like you’re on a constant hamster wheel – where if things are bad, you’re always hoping for something better to happen – and  if things are good, you’re always wondering, when is the other shoe going to drop?  

This may be the norm but it doesn’t need to be your norm.

Depending on outer circumstances to define your self worth will always lead to disappointment because you’ll feel like you’re always chasing something or trying to keep something that you feel is outside of you.

What if there is another way to live?  A way where regardless of what happens “out there” you feel at peace.  Where you aren’t reaching, striving or trying to get things to stay the same – or change – but rather accepting life as it comes to you.

I hadn’t realized, until very recently, how dominated I’ve been by trying to dictate how I *think* my life should be and look.  I didn’t realize how overloaded I was on mind dominance and trying to think my way into the future I *thought* i wanted.

Yet, your mind can only take you so far – it’s limited by what you *think* and what you’ve experienced.

Your soul on the other hand, is unlimited and directly connected to your destiny – it’s unlimited by what the universe yearns for you to experience.  

Knowing this Truth, which path will you walk?  And, how do you know the first steps to take?

I choose destiny and allowing the Universe to lead – which means accepting every circumstance in my life as if I chose it to be this way.

Not easy but I believe extremely worthwhile.

If you’re willing to allow life to lead you, consider some advice a good friend/coach gave to me that I’ll share with you.  For the next 48-hours, take every circumstance in your life, no matter what happens and simply say out loud:  “Thank you, I have no complaints”.

If you can get in this habit of living life this way, I believe we’ll all be astonished as to what can transpire.

I’d love to hear how your experiment goes – and as always, it’s your choice which path you choose to walk.  Choose wisely.

Fear of Time Running Out

Posted on Feb 19, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

“Man alone measures time. Man alone chimes the hour. And because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures: A fear of time running out.” ~Mitch Albom

Being a creative soul means that you’re more impatient than most.

You most likely walk around on a daily basis feeling an unrelenting feeling of anxiousness – a feeling that, no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to put your finger on what is causing it.

You feel impatient, but why? Why do you
feel as if time keeps passing by and you aren’t comfortable with it?

If you go deeper into the impatience and anxiousness, you’ll most likely find a fear – the fear of time running out before you realize your full potential.

The fear of time running out is a common one – and especially if you’re someone who knows you have a ton of creative potential to realize and express in this lifetime.

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A Strong Need To Control

Posted on Jan 22, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” ~Serenity Prayer

If you’re someone who has a strong need to feel in control of your life, your circumstances, your finances, your success, your relationships, your household, other people, the weather, etc. – you are definitely not alone.

The other day I found myself in major over-thinking, analysis paralysis mode – thinking things through – and trying to know an outcome that couldn’t possibly be known, yet.

So as I sat there in my car stopped at a red light (I usually have major epiphanies in the car by the way), I noticed a car up ahead of me with the back window down and a child’s hand hanging out the window. They were waving a white tissue out the car window and simply allowing it to blow in the wind.

These mini miracles never cease to amaze me and the other day was no different. I got the message loud and clear…”Wave the white flag Brenda. Hand it over. Let it go.” Which I did and I felt much better, much more free, more joyful and calm. Come to think of it, I don’t even remember what I was ruminating about that day – and it was only two days ago!

As I’ve written in other articles unmet needs drive us – they unconsciously motivate us to take action, or, to not take action.

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Create a Vision For Yourself

Posted on Nov 26, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

“You must go after your wish. As soon as you start to pursue a dream, your life wakes up and everything has meaning.” ~Barbara Sher

I’ve been having many discussions with people as of late –where this is one common denominator: People are craving change and for some new life and energy to be infused back into their lives, work and relationships.

dreamcatcher

Can you relate with this feeling? As if you need a boost, a shot of inspiration, a new vision perhaps?

I find that many people resonate with the saying that Barbara Sher, inspirational author coined: “I know I could do anything if I only knew what “IT” was!”

Again, can you relate with this?

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Having Trust Issues?

Posted on Oct 23, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

Have you ever considered that Trust is an energy? When I heard someone say that my ears perked up. That is usually what happens when you hear the Truth, you pay attention.

And energy is always in motion – therefore what you trust to happen, happens. It’s Universal Law. This happens because you trust that it WILL. In other words, you WILL it to happen with your trust.

trust-child-picture

What about when you continually intend for something to change or manifest, and you keep getting the same result? Have you asked yourself, what you’re trusting in?

Consider this:

  • Do you trust in doubt more than you trust in what you want?
  • Do you trust that it won’t happen MORE than your trust that it will?
  • Do you trust that if something good happens something bad is right around the corner?

Like everything in your life, this boils down to the trust that you have with yourself. You trust yourself – even in the areas you don’t necessarily want to!

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Living In The Present

Posted on Sep 11, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton
Last week I watched a great movie that i highly recommend: Way of the Peaceful Warrior.
It’s based on the author, Dan Millman’s true story about running into a spiritual teacher who would teach him Truth and philosophies that would change his life forever.
 
The movie (there is a book as well) is so good at demonstrating how we all get stuck in thought patterns that keep us stuck in either the past or the future – and how most of us don’t value the NOW.
 Meditating
We all hear this message “out there” in various forms and messages.  Be Present.  Stay in the moment.  All we have is NOW.  The present is a present.
 
True, but how do you apply these concepts to your life?  How do you realize what being in the NOW actually gives to your life right now?

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Do you ever feel this way about your self worth?

Posted on Jul 17, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

carefreewomanThis past weekend I was having a conversation with a close friend of mine. And, true to form, she and I were getting deep into conversation about life, love and everyday worthiness.

I remember at some point in our conversation I had said to her – there is a big misconception in our society that the more you DO the more you’re worth.

Have you ever stopped to think about this?

Now that you have, do you have a belief system that aligns with this?

Believing that the more you do, achieve and show what you can do to the world, the more you earn your worth and finally can receive what you want.

This earning of worth is a feeling as if you huff and puff and try harder and harder and finally, after you’ve exerted yourself, then you can feel accomplished and worthy.

Can you relate?

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What You Focus Your Attention On

Posted on Apr 20, 2015 | by Brenda Stanton

“To conquer frustration, one must remain intensely focused on the outcome, not the obstacles.” ~T.F. Hodge

You’ve most likely heard the expression – Energy flows where your focus/attention goes. So true but have you learned how to put this Truth into practical application in your life?

I bet there is an area, or maybe several areas, in your life that feel out of alignment with how you’d ultimately like them to feel/be. Maybe it’s in the area of your career – or finances – or relationships – or your health/well-being.

Whatever the area(s) is/are, you most likely, without even realizing you’re doing it, focus on what isn’t there vs. what is.

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