Archive for the ‘Freedom Filled Life-Style’ Category

Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop?

Posted on Mar 18, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

Have you ever experienced a situation in life that is going “too good” – or “too peaceful” or “too successful” and a part of your brain keeps whispering:  “There is no way this can last.  When is the other shoe going to drop?”

Waiting for the other shoe to drop is an actual syndrome which has it’s root in FEAR.    The fear of experiencing peace or goodness and then your mind trying to prepare you for the worst case scenario.  

This is what fear does – it keeps you in a constant state of panic and high alert.  You subconsciously stand guard for something bad happening – and worry that nothing good can ever last.  This results in your body and mind humming at a rapid pace – like a car’s engine that is kept on too long – it’s idle and eventually begins to rev up.  No wonder you may have a hard time being in the moment – the present moment feels frightening!

Being aware of having this fear of the other shoe dropping is the first step because you can now see that this is a survival mechanism that your brain created to help protect you.  Yet, in Truth, this isn’t really protecting you – it’s keeping you in a state of panic, worry and anxiety.  Feelings that may feel familiar to you – but feelings that also keep you stuck.

So, what is the true solution to overcoming waiting for the other shoe to drop?

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Fear of Time Running Out

Posted on Feb 19, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

“Man alone measures time. Man alone chimes the hour. And because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures: A fear of time running out.” ~Mitch Albom

Being a creative soul means that you’re more impatient than most.

You most likely walk around on a daily basis feeling an unrelenting feeling of anxiousness – a feeling that, no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to put your finger on what is causing it.

You feel impatient, but why? Why do you
feel as if time keeps passing by and you aren’t comfortable with it?

If you go deeper into the impatience and anxiousness, you’ll most likely find a fear – the fear of time running out before you realize your full potential.

The fear of time running out is a common one – and especially if you’re someone who knows you have a ton of creative potential to realize and express in this lifetime.

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Setting Worthy Goals

Posted on Jan 1, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

Don’t aim at success – the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue… as the unintended side-effect of one’s personal dedication to a course greater than oneself.” ~Victor Frankl

This quote above is very profound and one I suggest you may want to print-out and contemplate.

And what a perfect time to contemplate what success really means to you – as we are embarking on another new year – a year full of hope, anticipation, and excitement – and another year
and chance to ‘get it right’
.

Yet, trying to be successful, or trying to ‘get it right’, can not only cause loads of pressure, tension and stress – it can also feel really unfulfilling.

Think about it – how many times have you ‘gotten the goal’, achieved something that was important to you, and celebrated it – and then felt a deep pressure and a looming anxiety to figure-out what’s next and how you’ll top what you just did?

The habit of constant ‘bar-raising’ never feels fully fulfilling because it’s about achieving goals on the outside and constantly trying to get vs. learning how to give to life so you
can feel worthy of receiving.

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You, Your Life, Your Work in 2017

Posted on Dec 22, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

Well, here we are with 2017 upon us!

I hope you have time today to reflect on the past year and all the blessings in your life. And, of course, look forward to the new year and contemplate what means the most to you and what you desire to expand.

Today’s note is one I send each year whose intention is to give you a different way to look at your desires for the new year and to make sure that you include an all important piece that often gets forgotten when you read about shifts and changes for the new year – YOU!

If you desire to experience change and shifts “out there”, rather than work to maneuver and change the vision and image you see “out there”, work on shifting your inner vision. Utilize the outer reflections to give you indications on what needs to shift on the inside and then the outer takes care of itself. In other words, work on shifting your own vibe and you easily and effortlessly attract what you desire.

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Create a Vision For Yourself

Posted on Nov 26, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

“You must go after your wish. As soon as you start to pursue a dream, your life wakes up and everything has meaning.” ~Barbara Sher

I’ve been having many discussions with people as of late –where this is one common denominator: People are craving change and for some new life and energy to be infused back into their lives, work and relationships.

dreamcatcher

Can you relate with this feeling? As if you need a boost, a shot of inspiration, a new vision perhaps?

I find that many people resonate with the saying that Barbara Sher, inspirational author coined: “I know I could do anything if I only knew what “IT” was!”

Again, can you relate with this?

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Courage To Be Your True Self

Posted on Nov 20, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

“If the shoe doesn’t fit, must we change the foot?” ~Gloria Steinem

union

Most of us were taught at an early age to change (more accurately hide) who we really are in order to “fit-into” situations that are uncomfortable – but needed for our survival.

Have you ever considered that the parts of you that you thought were your hold-backs – were just protection mechanisms?

Have you ever considered that you needed to hide away parts of you that are LIGHT, bright, capable, strong, and glowing – in order to not outshine or intimate others?

Again, consider Gloria’s question: “If the shoe doesn’t fit, must we change the foot?”

Unfortunately most of us are taught unconsciously to make the answer to her question a resounding YES!

Yes, I must fit into the job that I hate in order to survive.

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When Life Gets In The Way Of Your Plans

Posted on Jan 25, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

”A year from now you may wish you had started today.” – Karen Lamb

Having a million things on your plate is something I most definitely understand.

Yet, at the same time, there are practical strategies that allow you to gain more control over the things you can control – such as removing obligations and commitments that don’t align with your values – off your plate of life’s to do’s.

rest in autotravel - female legs in shales in the car

In my opinion, that’s the “easy” stuff to remove. Not easy from the standpoint that it’s necessarily “easy” to do or implement – and have those difficult conversations with folks you need to disappoint, but “easy” in the sense that it’s totally doable – and there are practical ways to get you more time in your life to focus on what matters to you most right now.

But, what do you do when life throws you things that are completely out of your control? What do you do when there are absolutes in your life that you must deal with – and they aren’t a choice of obligation or do I want to, but I have to do this, this is a MUST do?

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Are You Working Too Hard On Yourself?

Posted on Nov 9, 2015 | by Brenda Stanton

gypsywoman“You must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.” ~Joseph Campbell

While working with my own coach, we were chatting about an area that I feel blocked in.

As any great coach does, many questions later, he called me on my stuff.

“Did you notice what you just said?”

“Ummm, no what?” I replied.

“When I asked you what it is that you truly want to transform in this area – you went right to yourself and said – I’m working on it.”

He went on to say: “Why are you treating yourself as if you’re a project? What if there is absolutely nothing that you need to work on, improve, or do in order to BE who you really are?

I sat there in silence thinking – I’ve probably said the same exact thing to my own coaching clients – but in that moment, it was the loudest Truth I had ever heard.

I’m sharing this example of my own coaching because I think in the New Age era where there are literal Self Help sections in the bookstore – we all need to question – what are we trying to help within ourselves vs. become within ourselves?

In that moment with my coach, I realized a lifetime pattern of treating myself, my life, and whatever was blocking me at that time – as a project – as something that has a start, finish and an end.

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Do You Have A Dream?

Posted on Jan 19, 2015 | by Brenda Stanton

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” ~C. S. Lewis

Do you have a vision that you’re longing see come to fruition?

Or do you know you’d like something to be different but you aren’t sure what that something different may be?

Or, maybe you’d like to challenge yourself to go to another level in your life/work and want to set some new goals.

I believe the hardest part is the having clarity about what it is that you’re wanting and then having the courage to not only listen to what it is that you yearn for, but to act on it.

Daring to dream is an act of bold courage. It’s not only bold to act on your dreams “out there” but even more courageous to get over the inner critic that can scream at you in your head telling you that you’re not good enough, too old, not talented enough, or too much of a perfectionist.

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Power of A Vision

Posted on Apr 28, 2014 | by Brenda Stanton

“Having a vision for your life allows you to live out of hope, rather than out of your fears.” ~ Stedman Graham

Lately I’ve been finding myself talking more and more about the fact that having clarity on what it is that you really, really want, is extremely underrated.

It’s interesting to see the resistance that crops up when I encourage clients to start with the end in mind – to step back, take some time out, and get clear on what it is that they would really like to see happen – BEFORE we begin to put the action pieces in place.

At first glance, I used to think that the resistance that folks have to the visioning process had to do with them just wanting to get started with the action pieces because they value feeling productive above anything else.

And even though the need to feel productive still tends to trump the creative process of visioning, I’ve found another reason folks resist the visioning process – and this reason boils down to plain ol’ FEAR & Self-Doubt

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