Archive for the ‘Following Your Dreams’ Category

Feeling Trapped In A Past Pattern

Posted on Oct 16, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

“You hold the key to set yourself free. Will you weild this magical power to unlock yourself from the past or keep yourself trapped in it?

birdoutsidecage

When you feel trapped in a past pattern where you know you want things to change, but you can’t seem to figure out how to bring about that change – you feel powerless and stuck.

What can make this feel even worse is, seeing everyone in the outside world going about their existence – and witnessing others experiencing what you want.

This is frustrating to say the least – and certainly disempowering as you begin to hear the negative thoughts creep in: How come they can and I can’t?

How can this be when you use the law of attraction in other areas of your life – and you witness what you think about coming about?

Yes, the law of attraction is exactly that – law. It works every time.

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Living In The Present

Posted on Sep 11, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton
Last week I watched a great movie that i highly recommend: Way of the Peaceful Warrior.
It’s based on the author, Dan Millman’s true story about running into a spiritual teacher who would teach him Truth and philosophies that would change his life forever.
 
The movie (there is a book as well) is so good at demonstrating how we all get stuck in thought patterns that keep us stuck in either the past or the future – and how most of us don’t value the NOW.
 Meditating
We all hear this message “out there” in various forms and messages.  Be Present.  Stay in the moment.  All we have is NOW.  The present is a present.
 
True, but how do you apply these concepts to your life?  How do you realize what being in the NOW actually gives to your life right now?

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What is the opposite of confidence?

Posted on Aug 21, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

“Trust in yourself and your own knowing is the definition of confidence.” 

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Have you ever learned to really TRUST yourself?

When I say trust, I mean deep within, without anyone else’s input – true trust in yourself and what you want to do vs. what everyone else thinks you should do

You may answer this quickly by stating – yes absolutely!  I do what I want.

Yet I bet, if you were assigned someone to follow you around for an entire week and have them observe how many times you sought the opinions of others – or asked others – what do you think I should do? – you ‘d be astonished!

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We all would be astonished how many times we look to the outside world for an inside answer.  You can read how I’ve done it myself here

I’m not saying the advice and opinions of others aren’t valid – they absolutely are.   Yet, my suggestion would be to ask the opinions and advice of others who will guide you to the answers within yourself vs. telling you what they think you should do.

This isn’t an easy thing to do – give up giving up your power – but it’s an incredibly brave and powerful thing to do when you connect with your own Truth and Knowing – and then, have the courage to act upon it.

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Self Worth vs. Self Esteem

Posted on Aug 1, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

“When you allow yourself to let-go, success can flow!” 

Do you ever wonder what the difference is between your self-esteem and your self-worth?

Meditating with Rudraksha beads

The two are very closely aligned – like brother and sister are in the bloodline.

Yet, there is also a major distinction to be made between the two – and I’ve discovered this through loads of contemplation and study – and direct experience. So, as a disclaimer, whatever I describe below is based on my own experience and beliefs – and certainly isn’t the only way in which to view the distinction.

Your self-esteem is how you feel about yourself based on your actions. It’s what you have control over. It’s how you feel about yourself from the inside/out. Overall, are you proud of yourself for who you are, what you stand for and what actions you take and don’t take based on the values that you choose to orient your life around?

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Your self-worth, has a much more spiritual bend to it (again, my opinion) because it’s directly related to your identity, your sense of self, your overall feeling of importance and value in this world. Overall, do you feel that you deserve to be here on the earth plane and have the right to take up space – and to be happy within that space you call your life?

The major difference is: Self-esteem is geared towards doing vs. Self-worth is more about being. Both have a tremendous amount of value – and serve very different purposes in your life. They both also work beautifully together when married in their natural energies.

The Truth is: most of the teachings ‘out there’ focus on boosting your self-esteem.

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When Life Gets In The Way Of Your Plans

Posted on Jan 25, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

”A year from now you may wish you had started today.” – Karen Lamb

Having a million things on your plate is something I most definitely understand.

Yet, at the same time, there are practical strategies that allow you to gain more control over the things you can control – such as removing obligations and commitments that don’t align with your values – off your plate of life’s to do’s.

rest in autotravel - female legs in shales in the car

In my opinion, that’s the “easy” stuff to remove. Not easy from the standpoint that it’s necessarily “easy” to do or implement – and have those difficult conversations with folks you need to disappoint, but “easy” in the sense that it’s totally doable – and there are practical ways to get you more time in your life to focus on what matters to you most right now.

But, what do you do when life throws you things that are completely out of your control? What do you do when there are absolutes in your life that you must deal with – and they aren’t a choice of obligation or do I want to, but I have to do this, this is a MUST do?

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Conflicting Committments

Posted on Jan 11, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

“The biggest commitment you must keep is the commitment you keep to yourself.” ~Neale Donald Walsch

Our heart’s desires are the things that we’re too ewomanonbeachflowerheadbandmbarrassed or afraid to tell anyone about – so it’s no wonder we worry about that question of Who Do You Think You Are? It’s a question that has a dual connotation – because:
1) we hear it internally from that inner critical voice and

2) we fear hearing it from other people, especially people who are closest to us – and who we fear losing or making feel uncomfortable if we change and transform into a better version of ourSelves.

I read recently that one of the top 6 fears that people have against succeeding in their lives/work is the fear they have of losing love.

How true that fear is – because most of the time we don’t realize that we’re not stepping out because we don’t to make others feel uncomfortable around us.

Maybe it’s our parents who we don’t want to out-succeed. Or maybe it’s an older sibling, or maybe it’s even our spouse – who, for whatever reason, hasn’t claimed their success.

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Are You Working Too Hard On Yourself?

Posted on Nov 9, 2015 | by Brenda Stanton

gypsywoman“You must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.” ~Joseph Campbell

While working with my own coach, we were chatting about an area that I feel blocked in.

As any great coach does, many questions later, he called me on my stuff.

“Did you notice what you just said?”

“Ummm, no what?” I replied.

“When I asked you what it is that you truly want to transform in this area – you went right to yourself and said – I’m working on it.”

He went on to say: “Why are you treating yourself as if you’re a project? What if there is absolutely nothing that you need to work on, improve, or do in order to BE who you really are?

I sat there in silence thinking – I’ve probably said the same exact thing to my own coaching clients – but in that moment, it was the loudest Truth I had ever heard.

I’m sharing this example of my own coaching because I think in the New Age era where there are literal Self Help sections in the bookstore – we all need to question – what are we trying to help within ourselves vs. become within ourselves?

In that moment with my coach, I realized a lifetime pattern of treating myself, my life, and whatever was blocking me at that time – as a project – as something that has a start, finish and an end.

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What You Focus Your Attention On

Posted on Apr 20, 2015 | by Brenda Stanton

“To conquer frustration, one must remain intensely focused on the outcome, not the obstacles.” ~T.F. Hodge

You’ve most likely heard the expression – Energy flows where your focus/attention goes. So true but have you learned how to put this Truth into practical application in your life?

I bet there is an area, or maybe several areas, in your life that feel out of alignment with how you’d ultimately like them to feel/be. Maybe it’s in the area of your career – or finances – or relationships – or your health/well-being.

Whatever the area(s) is/are, you most likely, without even realizing you’re doing it, focus on what isn’t there vs. what is.

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Do You Have A Dream?

Posted on Jan 19, 2015 | by Brenda Stanton

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” ~C. S. Lewis

Do you have a vision that you’re longing see come to fruition?

Or do you know you’d like something to be different but you aren’t sure what that something different may be?

Or, maybe you’d like to challenge yourself to go to another level in your life/work and want to set some new goals.

I believe the hardest part is the having clarity about what it is that you’re wanting and then having the courage to not only listen to what it is that you yearn for, but to act on it.

Daring to dream is an act of bold courage. It’s not only bold to act on your dreams “out there” but even more courageous to get over the inner critic that can scream at you in your head telling you that you’re not good enough, too old, not talented enough, or too much of a perfectionist.

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Chasing vs. Claiming Your Worth

Posted on Dec 22, 2014 | by Brenda Stanton

“Be yourself, not your idea of what you think somebody else’s idea of yourself should be.”
Henry David Thoreau

According to Dictionary.com, the word “chase” has many definitions all amounting to key words such as: to pursue in to order to seize, overtake; to capture or kill, as game; hunt; to follow or devote one’s attention to with the hope of attracting, winning, gaining; to drive or expel by force, threat, or harassment.

When you look-up claim via Dictionary.com, you find definitions including: to demand by or as by virtue of a right; demand as a right or as due; to assert and demand the recognition of (a right, title, possession, etc.); assert one’s right to; to assert or maintain as a fact; to require as due or fitting.

To me, chasing sounds very aggressive and forceful. It also sounds less confident – very much like trying vs. having certainty that it will happen. It also sounds like lots of struggle and work and to me feels plain less than.

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