Archive for the ‘Following Your Dreams’ Category

Stuck In Your Story

Posted on Jun 25, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

 

“A come back is not a go back” ~Tim Storey

I was speaking with someone recently who asked me “So when you experienced that hurt at an early-age, who did you tell about it?”  “Nobody” I answered.

What this individual helped me realize is – “Nobody” quickly became my companion in life – that voice in my head who kept me company and helped me create stories about why I *think* things happened and what they meant vs. simply just letting what happened, BE.

And I’ve continued to keep Nobody around for most of my life.  Relying on my mind-made stories to help me decipher events or circumstances and create meaning out of them.   And…when I didn’t have a direct answer, that meaning I made up usually was a negative conclusion vs. a positive one.  This conclusion would then reinforce the limiting story and stories I told myself about why I couldn’t have or experience what I truly wanted.

Only when I allowed myself to be in the NOW – and witness what was/is happening vs. being in my head making up stories about WHY it’s happening, did I become aware of how I limit myself through making up stories.

We all have a story – the question to ask yourself is:  Does your story limit you or liberate you?
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Fate vs. Destiny

Posted on Jun 11, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

We all have a story we tell ourselves about how worthy or unworthy we feel based on past and current circumstances.

And, most everyone looks to create something in the future to transcend the circumstances that made you (or are making you) feel unworthy…and….hold onto the circumstances that you feel give you worth.

But have you ever considered that trying to create your life keeps you stuck in what you *think* you *should* do and have vs. allowing what is meant for you to happen?

The past two years have opened my own eyes to how mind driven I’ve been.  How, even though, I’ve been following spiritual practice and “teachers”, I was still more committed to giving my mind the power and trying to control what happens vs. allowing what is meant to happen, happen.

What I’m continuing to realize is: my mind doesn’t have the insight and Truth that my soul does.  In Truth, my mind doesn’t know my destiny.  My mind only knows my fate based on the story I tell myself about myself and my current & past life circumstances.  

Have you ever considered that you tell yourself a story about your own worth without realizing that you’re the one telling the story, not life?

I used to *think* (a.k.a. tell myself) that I just had bad luck in certain areas of my life – and that the reason things weren’t changing or manifesting in the direction I wanted them to go was because…and then insert whatever story line here that my mind told me about my circumstances.  I used to *think* life was working against me, not for me.

But then, I realized that I have a story teller that is focused on creating meaning and significance with events that I took to mean this or that about me and my worthiness.  If this happened it meant this.  Or if that happened it must mean this.

I hadn’t considered that I could just let an event or circumstance happen and BE without putting a judgement on it….

We’re taught that the outer world is a direct reflection of our worthiness and if we don’t have everything that others do – then, well, it must mean they are more deserving or whatever the story is that you may tell yourself.

But the Truth is – the mind/ego is solely focused on comparison and it’s favorite thing to do is measure your worth in comparison with someone else’s.  This only causes suffering and keeps you stuck in that same limiting story.  And, your worth can never be measured.  Ever.

What if, in order to allow your destiny, you decide that you’ll become aware of the story you tell yourself about yourself (and others and life, etc.) and not buy into it – simply witness it as a story – as just words. Can you imagine the freedom that would create in your life?  Can you imagine the unlimited possibilities?

Your story keeps you stuck.

If you’re ready to ditch that story – rather than tell yourself a new one about how worthy you really are, make a choice to just let what is BE…no judgement.  Just let it be without telling yourself that it *means* something about you.

This approach is true for “good” circumstances as much as it is for “bad” circumstances because no matter what, the other shoe will drop.  We live in a duality world – where polarity rules the day.  One day it rains  – another day the sun is out.

Have you ever questioned mother nature about what the weather means?  Or, even said to mother nature, don’t rain today.  No, because you know you aren’t in control of mother nature.  And, you being part of nature, what if you aren’t in control of your destiny either?  What if, the greatest vision you could you ever experience for your life was in the not knowing vs. the knowing?  What if being NOW and accepting what comes IS your purpose?

Lots to contemplate!  And much more to come in future articles on this approach to life.

 

Comparing Yourself To Others

Posted on May 15, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

If there is anything in your sabotager’s toolkit that will squelch your dreams  the quickest, it will be comparing yourself to others.

When you believe your value comes from comparing, your mind will constantly be  looking for evidence on how others are better, more qualified, more creative, more successful, more ‘in the know’ than you.

This is a trap that will keep you stuck.

And if there is anything that I could stress when it comes to your life, relationships and work, it would be this:  Be You and only YOU.  No one else can BE you.

Easier said than done, I know.  But once you become aware, you can change it.

This week: Pay attention to what you’re letting come into your sphere of influence – and who and what you’re comparing yourself too.

Notice when you’re doing this and simply notice if you’re letting someone else’s success, or life circumstances, influence you and make you feel inferior.

Then, simply nudge yourself and notice in that moment how you’re rejecting and abandoning yourself – and commit to stop doing that ;)!

The Power Of Your Will Part 2

Posted on Apr 17, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

Being then doing – that is the equation.  Often we’re told however that we need to do and then do some more – and what you want will happen.

Yet, as i mentioned in Part 1 of this topic, what you think you want is very different than what you know you are destined for.

What you think you want is derived from the belief:  once I have it and experience it – I’ll feel better, I’ll be happy.  This belief is built on the premise that whatever it is that you desire is separate from you – that it needs to manifest in order for you to experience the feeling of having it.

What you’re destined for on the other hand is based on the Truth that you already have it – and you are already IT.   The only separation between what you’re experiencing and what you desire are the thoughts that tell you all the reasons why you can’t have it.

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The Power Of Your Will Part 1

Posted on Apr 2, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

Willing something to happen is very different than forcing something to happen.

Will tends to get a bad rap because it conjures up the word willpower – which almost always gives way to:  restriction and going against yourself vs. allowing and letting things flow and be easy.

To me, will power gives the image of – I want it but I really don’t want it but I’m going to force myself to want it.  Sound familiar?  Trying to force something you should want but you face resistance around it.

In it’s truest sense, will power is exerted when you realize that what you want is what the Universe wants for you too – and you then have the courage to take action towards what you want – no matter what.

This is the same concept of:  when you marry intention with action and a miracle happens!  It’s when things just flow and happen – and you know you aren’t standing in your own way anymore – you’re allowing your highest good to manifest.

But what happens when you want something and it doesn’t happen – and the exact opposite manifests?  The same concept of will power is at play here too.  You willed what you don’t want to happen, it just wasn’t a conscious choice – it was an unconscious one.

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Trusting The Universe

Posted on Jan 29, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

The Universe believes in anything you believe in. ~Sherry Patterson

Have you ever considered the relationship that you have with the Universe?  The highest power there is that birthed you into this world and will also birth you out of it?  Do you trust this energy – or do you have distrust in it?  

It’s a vital question to ask yourself

Consider the statement above.  The Universe believes in anything you believe in.

Therefore, what if you unconsciously believe you aren’t worthy.   If the Universe’s believes in anything that you do, is the o
nly choice to comply with what you believe and show you proof outside of you through your circumstances?

I used to *think* that what I truly wanted was outside of me and the Universe would grant it or keep it from me based on if I was worthy or if I wasn’t.  I didn’t realize that the Universe and I are One – we are bonded, connected, with no separation.  And the Universe has a plan – and if I could allow myself to surrender and trust in that plan – then life
would flow.

We know this when we’re really young.  We know who we are, why we’re here and how truly unique we are.  We know that life has our backs and that there is no need to worry.  We don’t track time.  We don’t worry about money – or anything bad happening.  We were just in the moment enjoying our surroundings.

But then, something – or many things happen – and you take that event or circumstance and begin to tell yourself an excuse about why it happened so it will make sense.  Maybe you told yourself that you must be bad, unworthy or just a piece of crap. Whatever it is – thoughts around this belief begin to multiply and then the limiting story of you gets birthed.

All of us create limiting stories so that our lives can make sense.  Then, we attract circumstances and people into our lives to reflect this back and help us heal it.

I had no idea how strong my mind-dominance was until I worked with coaches who pointed out to me a really powerful analogy of what was showing up in my life.  I told them about journals I have kept since I was in my early – twenties.  I kept them under lock and key in my closet in a “treasure chest”.  The aha moment came when they helped me see that I had a box full of stories telling the same story over and over again about why I couldn’t have what I really wanted.  Yikes!  Needless to say those journals have all been shredded ;)

The journal example was such a great visual of how we have a hamster wheel of thoughts that go around and around – telling and showing us what we believe we’re worth and what believe we’re not.

So, it is with you – the question remains – what you believe about your own self-worth – and what do you believe the Universe believes about your self worth?  Do you believe you’re separate and that you must prove, earn, and/or compete for your worth -to have what you want granted to you?  Or, are you ready for a different way?

If you’re ready for a different way the first step is to become aware of the limiting thoughts that you think – and realize that these are not your Truth.  By becoming aware of your thoughts – you can then begin to see how you view yourself through a limited lens.

Then, give yourself permission to get quiet and let your connection to the Universe/Source give you Truth through no words – only intuition.  You have a path.  You have a destiny.  Believe it or not, that path will not be laid out by plans or what your head *thinks* you *should* do – it is already designed – you just need to Trust yourself and believe in the Truth to start the journey.  

As always it’s your choice.

Setting Worthy Goals

Posted on Jan 1, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

Don’t aim at success – the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue… as the unintended side-effect of one’s personal dedication to a course greater than oneself.” ~Victor Frankl

This quote above is very profound and one I suggest you may want to print-out and contemplate.

And what a perfect time to contemplate what success really means to you – as we are embarking on another new year – a year full of hope, anticipation, and excitement – and another year
and chance to ‘get it right’
.

Yet, trying to be successful, or trying to ‘get it right’, can not only cause loads of pressure, tension and stress – it can also feel really unfulfilling.

Think about it – how many times have you ‘gotten the goal’, achieved something that was important to you, and celebrated it – and then felt a deep pressure and a looming anxiety to figure-out what’s next and how you’ll top what you just did?

The habit of constant ‘bar-raising’ never feels fully fulfilling because it’s about achieving goals on the outside and constantly trying to get vs. learning how to give to life so you
can feel worthy of receiving.

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You, Your Life, Your Work in 2017

Posted on Dec 22, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

Well, here we are with 2017 upon us!

I hope you have time today to reflect on the past year and all the blessings in your life. And, of course, look forward to the new year and contemplate what means the most to you and what you desire to expand.

Today’s note is one I send each year whose intention is to give you a different way to look at your desires for the new year and to make sure that you include an all important piece that often gets forgotten when you read about shifts and changes for the new year – YOU!

If you desire to experience change and shifts “out there”, rather than work to maneuver and change the vision and image you see “out there”, work on shifting your inner vision. Utilize the outer reflections to give you indications on what needs to shift on the inside and then the outer takes care of itself. In other words, work on shifting your own vibe and you easily and effortlessly attract what you desire.

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Break Free of Inherited Self Worth Patterns

Posted on Dec 11, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As the holidays approach, there is no doubt you’re making plans to be with family. Perhaps you’re excited and perhaps you are not.

This article is written for those of you who are perhaps dreading being around family energy that may make you feel uncomfortable and bring up old patterns and feelings – that you’d rather not feel.

My advice is to treat the holiday season as a great time to put old wounds into healing – and to become aware of thought patterns that may still be haunting you and holding you back to this day.

Those of you who are committed to the work of self awareness and becoming your True Self, know that we all inherited legacies of self worth patterns that aren’t even our own, but we unconsciously decided to own.

Take for example, a client of mine (who I have permission to share her story without revealing her name) who recently was around a close family member who she has struggled having any kind of relationship with.

As we talked through the feelings that arise within her when she’s around this family member, I suggested she stay awake and aware and nonjudgmental when she observes not only the behavior from the family member, but the behavior that goes on within herself.

What has to be realized is – any judgement, opinion, mean comment, etc. that was bestowed on you by another – was a moment in time that triggered you – and you took that judgement, opinion, or mean comment and told yourself something about it.  In other words, you took on the energy of that individual and told yourself that you’re not worthy, you’re bad, you’re stupid – whatever it was – and then your mind recycled that thought to continue to show up to prove you right time and time again.

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Create a Vision For Yourself

Posted on Nov 26, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

“You must go after your wish. As soon as you start to pursue a dream, your life wakes up and everything has meaning.” ~Barbara Sher

I’ve been having many discussions with people as of late –where this is one common denominator: People are craving change and for some new life and energy to be infused back into their lives, work and relationships.

dreamcatcher

Can you relate with this feeling? As if you need a boost, a shot of inspiration, a new vision perhaps?

I find that many people resonate with the saying that Barbara Sher, inspirational author coined: “I know I could do anything if I only knew what “IT” was!”

Again, can you relate with this?

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