Archive for the ‘Following Your Dreams’ Category

Seeking Outside Validation

Posted on Jan 28, 2018 | by Brenda Stanton

Seeking validation from outside sources (other people or material things) – is a clear indication of a lack of self-trust.

In other words, when you don’t trust what you know to be true about you, your circumstances, and your potential – you want to know that others know.

To validate means to make valid, substantiate, confirm.  Imagine the amount of personal power you give away by seeking outside validation.

What if you took that energy you put into seeking other people’s approval – or an accomplishment, credential or whatever – and went within and validated yourself?  Imagine the power and energy you’d gain if you stopped wanting others to recognize you and give you significance.


Negative Thinking – Release The Chains

Posted on Jan 15, 2018 | by Brenda Stanton

“We attract what we are aligned with whether consciously or unconsciously.”

When I read the above statement something clicked in me.  I read it and instantly knew that it is True.  We We attract what we are aligned with – whether we know it or not.


And…oftentimes, when it comes to the areas of our lives that are the most important and we want to attract and keep what we truly value – those are the areas that feel so out of grasp, like water slipping through your fingers.

Do you agree?

A client asked me the other day, why is it so easy for me to be calm and attract things that I don’t care much about so effortlessly – but when it comes to what truly matters for me – what is most important, I feel anxious and I overanalyze – and then keep things stuck?

Well, I’ve found through first-hand experience (my own and in collaboration with clients) – the areas we block and create challenges are the areas where we have the deepest wounding – and also the opportunity for the greatest breakthroughs.


Relying On Other People’s Opinions

Posted on Jan 7, 2018 | by Brenda Stanton

I’ve spent a lifetime of relying on other people’s opinions.

Whether it was hiring a career consultant (notice I said consultant, not coach) to tell me what I *should* do based on my skills and background vs. my true passion…to going to a spiritual “guru” to tell me where my life was headed based on reading an astrological chart…

Whatever it was – I’ve had a lifelong habit of believing other people had my answers – and believing they knew better than I did/do.  

But how can someone else know your Truth?  How can someone else know and tell you which direction your life should go?  Is their intuition, knowing, or spiritual connection stronger than yours?  


When Fear Has It’s Grip On You

Posted on Dec 10, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

You know the feeling – your jaw clenches and you feel anxious and nervous…you may know what is triggering you and you may not.  Regardless – you know that in that moment fear has a grip on you – and you believe whatever “it” tells you – that “it’s” real.

Have you ever considered that you may have been following fear vs. following your own Truth – especially in areas of your life that mean the most to you?

And, usually the areas that make you feel the most fear – are the areas that never seem to change – do you agree?

Fear “thinks” it’s keeping you safe – but in Truth  – it’s keeping you the same and miserable.


Why You Self-Sabotage

Posted on Nov 17, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

“Self sabotage is when we say we want something and we go about making sure it doesn’t happen” ~Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby

You know what it is that you deeply want. You have it on a vision board or maybe you’ve written it down.

Regardless of the way in which you’ve formulated your vision, you have a good idea of what you yearn to manifest in your life.

Then why, do you sometimes take two steps forward and one (maybe two, three or twenty!) steps back just when you’re beginning to feel great, make progress and see results?

Self sabotage could be at play.


When you find yourself taking steps forward towards your vision and then suddenly, or gradually, find yourself stopping, or backing off considerably – give thought and consideration to there may be a fear of you having what you truly want.

Huh? How can this be? You know what you want, you’ve written it down, you’ve prayed about it, you’ve told your friends and family about it…how could you ever not want what you say you want?

How this can manifest is through a much deeper commitment – the commitment to not losing love and connection with those we care about. In other words, the fear of losing love could be an unconscious driving force.


Trade Your Expectations for Appreciation & Miracles Unfold

Posted on Nov 6, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

“ Trade your expectations for appreciation and your whole life becomes a miracle.”

Sharing another transformational video with this week from the one and only, Tony Robbins. In this short, 30-second video, watch how Tony gives you, what I feel like, is the SHIFT of a lifetime.


Thorn In Your Side

Posted on Oct 8, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

“We are constantly trying to hold it all together. If you really want to see why you do things, then don’t do them and see what happens.”  ~Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul:  The Journey Beyond Yourself 

The past few months, and years, I’ve been doing some deep personal/spiritual work.  The work has helped me to get to the ROOT of some issues that I’ve been living with – that I wasn’t even aware that I had.

Michael Singer, in his book, The Untethered Soul, describes these core wounds/issues as thorns.  We can choose to keep them there and do everything in our power to protect and make sure that nothing, and no one, brushes up against them to cause more pain – OR – we can remove them.

Removing them requires that you become aware of what these thorns are – and also, that you have the courage to sit with the pain once you start pulling at them to remove them.
As the quote above states, if you really want to see why you do things, stop doing them and see what happens.  Ouch.  You’ll soon notice that when you stop running and trying to distract yourself, you’ll need to face your “stuff”.


Stuck In Your Story

Posted on Jun 25, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton


“A come back is not a go back” ~Tim Storey

I was speaking with someone recently who asked me “So when you experienced that hurt at an early-age, who did you tell about it?”  “Nobody” I answered.

What this individual helped me realize is – “Nobody” quickly became my companion in life – that voice in my head who kept me company and helped me create stories about why I *think* things happened and what they meant vs. simply just letting what happened, BE.

And I’ve continued to keep Nobody around for most of my life.  Relying on my mind-made stories to help me decipher events or circumstances and create meaning out of them.   And…when I didn’t have a direct answer, that meaning I made up usually was a negative conclusion vs. a positive one.  This conclusion would then reinforce the limiting story and stories I told myself about why I couldn’t have or experience what I truly wanted.

Only when I allowed myself to be in the NOW – and witness what was/is happening vs. being in my head making up stories about WHY it’s happening, did I become aware of how I limit myself through making up stories.

We all have a story – the question to ask yourself is:  Does your story limit you or liberate you?

Fate vs. Destiny

Posted on Jun 11, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

We all have a story we tell ourselves about how worthy or unworthy we feel based on past and current circumstances.

And, most everyone looks to create something in the future to transcend the circumstances that made you (or are making you) feel unworthy…and….hold onto the circumstances that you feel give you worth.

But have you ever considered that trying to create your life keeps you stuck in what you *think* you *should* do and have vs. allowing what is meant for you to happen?

The past two years have opened my own eyes to how mind driven I’ve been.  How, even though, I’ve been following spiritual practice and “teachers”, I was still more committed to giving my mind the power and trying to control what happens vs. allowing what is meant to happen, happen.

What I’m continuing to realize is: my mind doesn’t have the insight and Truth that my soul does.  In Truth, my mind doesn’t know my destiny.  My mind only knows my fate based on the story I tell myself about myself and my current & past life circumstances.  

Have you ever considered that you tell yourself a story about your own worth without realizing that you’re the one telling the story, not life?

I used to *think* (a.k.a. tell myself) that I just had bad luck in certain areas of my life – and that the reason things weren’t changing or manifesting in the direction I wanted them to go was because…and then insert whatever story line here that my mind told me about my circumstances.  I used to *think* life was working against me, not for me.

But then, I realized that I have a story teller that is focused on creating meaning and significance with events that I took to mean this or that about me and my worthiness.  If this happened it meant this.  Or if that happened it must mean this.

I hadn’t considered that I could just let an event or circumstance happen and BE without putting a judgement on it….

We’re taught that the outer world is a direct reflection of our worthiness and if we don’t have everything that others do – then, well, it must mean they are more deserving or whatever the story is that you may tell yourself.

But the Truth is – the mind/ego is solely focused on comparison and it’s favorite thing to do is measure your worth in comparison with someone else’s.  This only causes suffering and keeps you stuck in that same limiting story.  And, your worth can never be measured.  Ever.

What if, in order to allow your destiny, you decide that you’ll become aware of the story you tell yourself about yourself (and others and life, etc.) and not buy into it – simply witness it as a story – as just words. Can you imagine the freedom that would create in your life?  Can you imagine the unlimited possibilities?

Your story keeps you stuck.

If you’re ready to ditch that story – rather than tell yourself a new one about how worthy you really are, make a choice to just let what is BE…no judgement.  Just let it be without telling yourself that it *means* something about you.

This approach is true for “good” circumstances as much as it is for “bad” circumstances because no matter what, the other shoe will drop.  We live in a duality world – where polarity rules the day.  One day it rains  – another day the sun is out.

Have you ever questioned mother nature about what the weather means?  Or, even said to mother nature, don’t rain today.  No, because you know you aren’t in control of mother nature.  And, you being part of nature, what if you aren’t in control of your destiny either?  What if, the greatest vision you could you ever experience for your life was in the not knowing vs. the knowing?  What if being NOW and accepting what comes IS your purpose?

Lots to contemplate!  And much more to come in future articles on this approach to life.


Comparing Yourself To Others

Posted on May 15, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

If there is anything in your sabotager’s toolkit that will squelch your dreams  the quickest, it will be comparing yourself to others.

When you believe your value comes from comparing, your mind will constantly be  looking for evidence on how others are better, more qualified, more creative, more successful, more ‘in the know’ than you.

This is a trap that will keep you stuck.

And if there is anything that I could stress when it comes to your life, relationships and work, it would be this:  Be You and only YOU.  No one else can BE you.

Easier said than done, I know.  But once you become aware, you can change it.

This week: Pay attention to what you’re letting come into your sphere of influence – and who and what you’re comparing yourself too.

Notice when you’re doing this and simply notice if you’re letting someone else’s success, or life circumstances, influence you and make you feel inferior.

Then, simply nudge yourself and notice in that moment how you’re rejecting and abandoning yourself – and commit to stop doing that ;)!