Archive for the ‘Following Your Dreams’ Category

Comparing Yourself To Others

Posted on May 15, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

If there is anything in your sabotager’s toolkit that will squelch your dreams  the quickest, it will be comparing yourself to others.

When you believe your value comes from comparing, your mind will constantly be  looking for evidence on how others are better, more qualified, more creative, more successful, more ‘in the know’ than you.

This is a trap that will keep you stuck.

And if there is anything that I could stress when it comes to your life, relationships and work, it would be this:  Be You and only YOU.  No one else can BE you.

Easier said than done, I know.  But once you become aware, you can change it.

This week: Pay attention to what you’re letting come into your sphere of influence – and who and what you’re comparing yourself too.

Notice when you’re doing this and simply notice if you’re letting someone else’s success, or life circumstances, influence you and make you feel inferior.

Then, simply nudge yourself and notice in that moment how you’re rejecting and abandoning yourself – and commit to stop doing that ;)!

The Power Of Your Will Part 2

Posted on Apr 17, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

Being then doing – that is the equation.  Often we’re told however that we need to do and then do some more – and what you want will happen.

Yet, as i mentioned in Part 1 of this topic, what you think you want is very different than what you know you are destined for.

What you think you want is derived from the belief:  once I have it and experience it – I’ll feel better, I’ll be happy.  This belief is built on the premise that whatever it is that you desire is separate from you – that it needs to manifest in order for you to experience the feeling of having it.

What you’re destined for on the other hand is based on the Truth that you already have it – and you are already IT.   The only separation between what you’re experiencing and what you desire are the thoughts that tell you all the reasons why you can’t have it.

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The Power Of Your Will Part 1

Posted on Apr 2, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

Willing something to happen is very different than forcing something to happen.

Will tends to get a bad rap because it conjures up the word willpower – which almost always gives way to:  restriction and going against yourself vs. allowing and letting things flow and be easy.

To me, will power gives the image of – I want it but I really don’t want it but I’m going to force myself to want it.  Sound familiar?  Trying to force something you should want but you face resistance around it.

In it’s truest sense, will power is exerted when you realize that what you want is what the Universe wants for you too – and you then have the courage to take action towards what you want – no matter what.

This is the same concept of:  when you marry intention with action and a miracle happens!  It’s when things just flow and happen – and you know you aren’t standing in your own way anymore – you’re allowing your highest good to manifest.

But what happens when you want something and it doesn’t happen – and the exact opposite manifests?  The same concept of will power is at play here too.  You willed what you don’t want to happen, it just wasn’t a conscious choice – it was an unconscious one.

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Trusting The Universe

Posted on Jan 29, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

The Universe believes in anything you believe in. ~Sherry Patterson

Have you ever considered the relationship that you have with the Universe?  The highest power there is that birthed you into this world and will also birth you out of it?  Do you trust this energy – or do you have distrust in it?  

It’s a vital question to ask yourself

Consider the statement above.  The Universe believes in anything you believe in.

Therefore, what if you unconsciously believe you aren’t worthy.   If the Universe’s believes in anything that you do, is the o
nly choice to comply with what you believe and show you proof outside of you through your circumstances?

I used to *think* that what I truly wanted was outside of me and the Universe would grant it or keep it from me based on if I was worthy or if I wasn’t.  I didn’t realize that the Universe and I are One – we are bonded, connected, with no separation.  And the Universe has a plan – and if I could allow myself to surrender and trust in that plan – then life
would flow.

We know this when we’re really young.  We know who we are, why we’re here and how truly unique we are.  We know that life has our backs and that there is no need to worry.  We don’t track time.  We don’t worry about money – or anything bad happening.  We were just in the moment enjoying our surroundings.

But then, something – or many things happen – and you take that event or circumstance and begin to tell yourself an excuse about why it happened so it will make sense.  Maybe you told yourself that you must be bad, unworthy or just a piece of crap. Whatever it is – thoughts around this belief begin to multiply and then the limiting story of you gets birthed.

All of us create limiting stories so that our lives can make sense.  Then, we attract circumstances and people into our lives to reflect this back and help us heal it.

I had no idea how strong my mind-dominance was until I worked with coaches who pointed out to me a really powerful analogy of what was showing up in my life.  I told them about journals I have kept since I was in my early – twenties.  I kept them under lock and key in my closet in a “treasure chest”.  The aha moment came when they helped me see that I had a box full of stories telling the same story over and over again about why I couldn’t have what I really wanted.  Yikes!  Needless to say those journals have all been shredded ;)

The journal example was such a great visual of how we have a hamster wheel of thoughts that go around and around – telling and showing us what we believe we’re worth and what believe we’re not.

So, it is with you – the question remains – what you believe about your own self-worth – and what do you believe the Universe believes about your self worth?  Do you believe you’re separate and that you must prove, earn, and/or compete for your worth -to have what you want granted to you?  Or, are you ready for a different way?

If you’re ready for a different way the first step is to become aware of the limiting thoughts that you think – and realize that these are not your Truth.  By becoming aware of your thoughts – you can then begin to see how you view yourself through a limited lens.

Then, give yourself permission to get quiet and let your connection to the Universe/Source give you Truth through no words – only intuition.  You have a path.  You have a destiny.  Believe it or not, that path will not be laid out by plans or what your head *thinks* you *should* do – it is already designed – you just need to Trust yourself and believe in the Truth to start the journey.  

As always it’s your choice.

Setting Worthy Goals

Posted on Jan 1, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

Don’t aim at success – the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue… as the unintended side-effect of one’s personal dedication to a course greater than oneself.” ~Victor Frankl

This quote above is very profound and one I suggest you may want to print-out and contemplate.

And what a perfect time to contemplate what success really means to you – as we are embarking on another new year – a year full of hope, anticipation, and excitement – and another year
and chance to ‘get it right’
.

Yet, trying to be successful, or trying to ‘get it right’, can not only cause loads of pressure, tension and stress – it can also feel really unfulfilling.

Think about it – how many times have you ‘gotten the goal’, achieved something that was important to you, and celebrated it – and then felt a deep pressure and a looming anxiety to figure-out what’s next and how you’ll top what you just did?

The habit of constant ‘bar-raising’ never feels fully fulfilling because it’s about achieving goals on the outside and constantly trying to get vs. learning how to give to life so you
can feel worthy of receiving.

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You, Your Life, Your Work in 2017

Posted on Dec 22, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

Well, here we are with 2017 upon us!

I hope you have time today to reflect on the past year and all the blessings in your life. And, of course, look forward to the new year and contemplate what means the most to you and what you desire to expand.

Today’s note is one I send each year whose intention is to give you a different way to look at your desires for the new year and to make sure that you include an all important piece that often gets forgotten when you read about shifts and changes for the new year – YOU!

If you desire to experience change and shifts “out there”, rather than work to maneuver and change the vision and image you see “out there”, work on shifting your inner vision. Utilize the outer reflections to give you indications on what needs to shift on the inside and then the outer takes care of itself. In other words, work on shifting your own vibe and you easily and effortlessly attract what you desire.

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Break Free of Inherited Self Worth Patterns

Posted on Dec 11, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As the holidays approach, there is no doubt you’re making plans to be with family. Perhaps you’re excited and perhaps you are not.

This article is written for those of you who are perhaps dreading being around family energy that may make you feel uncomfortable and bring up old patterns and feelings – that you’d rather not feel.

My advice is to treat the holiday season as a great time to put old wounds into healing – and to become aware of thought patterns that may still be haunting you and holding you back to this day.

Those of you who are committed to the work of self awareness and becoming your True Self, know that we all inherited legacies of self worth patterns that aren’t even our own, but we unconsciously decided to own.

Take for example, a client of mine (who I have permission to share her story without revealing her name) who recently was around a close family member who she has struggled having any kind of relationship with.

As we talked through the feelings that arise within her when she’s around this family member, I suggested she stay awake and aware and nonjudgmental when she observes not only the behavior from the family member, but the behavior that goes on within herself.

What has to be realized is – any judgement, opinion, mean comment, etc. that was bestowed on you by another – was a moment in time that triggered you – and you took that judgement, opinion, or mean comment and told yourself something about it.  In other words, you took on the energy of that individual and told yourself that you’re not worthy, you’re bad, you’re stupid – whatever it was – and then your mind recycled that thought to continue to show up to prove you right time and time again.

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Create a Vision For Yourself

Posted on Nov 26, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

“You must go after your wish. As soon as you start to pursue a dream, your life wakes up and everything has meaning.” ~Barbara Sher

I’ve been having many discussions with people as of late –where this is one common denominator: People are craving change and for some new life and energy to be infused back into their lives, work and relationships.

dreamcatcher

Can you relate with this feeling? As if you need a boost, a shot of inspiration, a new vision perhaps?

I find that many people resonate with the saying that Barbara Sher, inspirational author coined: “I know I could do anything if I only knew what “IT” was!”

Again, can you relate with this?

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Courage To Be Your True Self

Posted on Nov 20, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

“If the shoe doesn’t fit, must we change the foot?” ~Gloria Steinem

union

Most of us were taught at an early age to change (more accurately hide) who we really are in order to “fit-into” situations that are uncomfortable – but needed for our survival.

Have you ever considered that the parts of you that you thought were your hold-backs – were just protection mechanisms?

Have you ever considered that you needed to hide away parts of you that are LIGHT, bright, capable, strong, and glowing – in order to not outshine or intimate others?

Again, consider Gloria’s question: “If the shoe doesn’t fit, must we change the foot?”

Unfortunately most of us are taught unconsciously to make the answer to her question a resounding YES!

Yes, I must fit into the job that I hate in order to survive.

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Healing America’s Shadow

Posted on Nov 13, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

“Each aspect within us needs understanding and compassion. If we are unwilling to give it to ourselves how can we expect the world to give it to us?”  ~Debbie Ford

This last week’s events with the presidential election have left so many of us, including me, in a state of bewilderment and sadness.

unitedstatesflag

And, rather than discuss the election’s outcome and how wrong it feels, I’d prefer to speak to the deeper meaning that I believe this whole ordeal is teaching us.

First and foremost, nothing can be truly healed unless you are aware of it.  Therefore, what if, having to look at one of the biggest darkest shadows we’ve ever seen in Donald Trump is certainly causing us all to have to look at not only him, but deep within ourselves and ask, what within me and our society as a whole must now go into healing?

See, the Truth is, you can’t recognize, judge or attract anything that isn’t within you.

Therefore, it’s time to ask the really hard questions of ourselves, the questions that most likely make you squirm, but still must be asked.  Here are a few to get us started:

  • How have we, as a collective unconscious attracted this experience of electing a commander in chief such as this – into the spotlight for all of us to see this darkness?
  • How do we now have the opportunity to shed LIGHT on the biggest shadow there is – a personality put into power who has expressed deep hate and disrespect  – especially for women and minorities?
  • Where does this personality we all see in the public eye reflect areas within ourselves that need to go into healing?  Because in Truth, if I judge outside of me, there must be an aspect within me that I judge first.

Trust me, it took me some time to get the point where I could even contemplate “what if” questions and see this from a higher perspective.

On the day after the election, I felt vulnerable being a woman.   Honestly, being a woman born in the USA, and having a mother who owned her own business, I never witnessed a true glass ceiling.

Yet, walking around on Wednesday, I felt exposed, vulnerable and less than – and knew that women across the country and world all felt like we lost something BIG.

Yet, in the same moment, I knew something BIGGER was being birthed for women especially.  I knew there was a higher call for all of us, especially the young women Hillary Clinton spoke to her in speech.

Here are some more questions to contemplate:

  • What if Hillary Clinton was the catalyst for all of us women to know how deeply we want to claim our own power and worth?
  • What if all of us women, especially the younger generation, who came into a world where so many women blazed a trail for us, needed to see there is still so much more do and BE – and we can never ever take our freedom and empowerment for granted?
  • What if all the women coming together in the “secret groups” as Hillary mentioned in her speech, are meant to come out behind the scenes and risk having our voices and Truths heard – and we needed this upset to push us over the edge?

I know this election stirred something deep within me when I woke up the next day feeling the same way I did on 9/11.  I had the same deep sadness and prayed it was all just a bad dream.

Yet, just as we thought we could never get through 9/11 and the aftermath, we did.  Just like we saw the worst in the world that day, we also saw the best of it in people.  Just like we thought the world was taking a turn for the worst, it truly was humanity’s biggest wake-up call.  And, so many people, including myself, heard the call, and decided to answer.  

I believe this election will have the same effect.  Faith. Hope. Love.  Same values we needed on  9/11 – and are the same pillars of strength we need moving forward.

God Bless the United States of America.

Together We Will Rise.