Archive for the ‘Faith and Belief’ Category

Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop?

Posted on Mar 18, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

Have you ever experienced a situation in life that is going “too good” – or “too peaceful” or “too successful” and a part of your brain keeps whispering:  “There is no way this can last.  When is the other shoe going to drop?”

Waiting for the other shoe to drop is an actual syndrome which has it’s root in FEAR.    The fear of experiencing peace or goodness and then your mind trying to prepare you for the worst case scenario.  

This is what fear does – it keeps you in a constant state of panic and high alert.  You subconsciously stand guard for something bad happening – and worry that nothing good can ever last.  This results in your body and mind humming at a rapid pace – like a car’s engine that is kept on too long – it’s idle and eventually begins to rev up.  No wonder you may have a hard time being in the moment – the present moment feels frightening!

Being aware of having this fear of the other shoe dropping is the first step because you can now see that this is a survival mechanism that your brain created to help protect you.  Yet, in Truth, this isn’t really protecting you – it’s keeping you in a state of panic, worry and anxiety.  Feelings that may feel familiar to you – but feelings that also keep you stuck.

So, what is the true solution to overcoming waiting for the other shoe to drop?


What does your self worth depend on?

Posted on Mar 11, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

To depend means to rely on and put trust in.  Now ask yourself what does your self worth depend on?

Most of us were taught early-on that in order to have self worth, we need to depend on and put trust in our outer circumstances.  Where what happens to us dicates if we feel like enough or not.  

Living life this way feels like you’re on a constant hamster wheel – where if things are bad, you’re always hoping for something better to happen – and  if things are good, you’re always wondering, when is the other shoe going to drop?  

This may be the norm but it doesn’t need to be your norm.

Depending on outer circumstances to define your self worth will always lead to disappointment because you’ll feel like you’re always chasing something or trying to keep something that you feel is outside of you.

What if there is another way to live?  A way where regardless of what happens “out there” you feel at peace.  Where you aren’t reaching, striving or trying to get things to stay the same – or change – but rather accepting life as it comes to you.

I hadn’t realized, until very recently, how dominated I’ve been by trying to dictate how I *think* my life should be and look.  I didn’t realize how overloaded I was on mind dominance and trying to think my way into the future I *thought* i wanted.

Yet, your mind can only take you so far – it’s limited by what you *think* and what you’ve experienced.

Your soul on the other hand, is unlimited and directly connected to your destiny – it’s unlimited by what the universe yearns for you to experience.  

Knowing this Truth, which path will you walk?  And, how do you know the first steps to take?

I choose destiny and allowing the Universe to lead – which means accepting every circumstance in my life as if I chose it to be this way.

Not easy but I believe extremely worthwhile.

If you’re willing to allow life to lead you, consider some advice a good friend/coach gave to me that I’ll share with you.  For the next 48-hours, take every circumstance in your life, no matter what happens and simply say out loud:  “Thank you, I have no complaints”.

If you can get in this habit of living life this way, I believe we’ll all be astonished as to what can transpire.

I’d love to hear how your experiment goes – and as always, it’s your choice which path you choose to walk.  Choose wisely.

Trusting The Universe

Posted on Jan 29, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

The Universe believes in anything you believe in. ~Sherry Patterson

Have you ever considered the relationship that you have with the Universe?  The highest power there is that birthed you into this world and will also birth you out of it?  Do you trust this energy – or do you have distrust in it?  

It’s a vital question to ask yourself

Consider the statement above.  The Universe believes in anything you believe in.

Therefore, what if you unconsciously believe you aren’t worthy.   If the Universe’s believes in anything that you do, is the o
nly choice to comply with what you believe and show you proof outside of you through your circumstances?

I used to *think* that what I truly wanted was outside of me and the Universe would grant it or keep it from me based on if I was worthy or if I wasn’t.  I didn’t realize that the Universe and I are One – we are bonded, connected, with no separation.  And the Universe has a plan – and if I could allow myself to surrender and trust in that plan – then life
would flow.

We know this when we’re really young.  We know who we are, why we’re here and how truly unique we are.  We know that life has our backs and that there is no need to worry.  We don’t track time.  We don’t worry about money – or anything bad happening.  We were just in the moment enjoying our surroundings.

But then, something – or many things happen – and you take that event or circumstance and begin to tell yourself an excuse about why it happened so it will make sense.  Maybe you told yourself that you must be bad, unworthy or just a piece of crap. Whatever it is – thoughts around this belief begin to multiply and then the limiting story of you gets birthed.

All of us create limiting stories so that our lives can make sense.  Then, we attract circumstances and people into our lives to reflect this back and help us heal it.

I had no idea how strong my mind-dominance was until I worked with coaches who pointed out to me a really powerful analogy of what was showing up in my life.  I told them about journals I have kept since I was in my early – twenties.  I kept them under lock and key in my closet in a “treasure chest”.  The aha moment came when they helped me see that I had a box full of stories telling the same story over and over again about why I couldn’t have what I really wanted.  Yikes!  Needless to say those journals have all been shredded ;)

The journal example was such a great visual of how we have a hamster wheel of thoughts that go around and around – telling and showing us what we believe we’re worth and what believe we’re not.

So, it is with you – the question remains – what you believe about your own self-worth – and what do you believe the Universe believes about your self worth?  Do you believe you’re separate and that you must prove, earn, and/or compete for your worth -to have what you want granted to you?  Or, are you ready for a different way?

If you’re ready for a different way the first step is to become aware of the limiting thoughts that you think – and realize that these are not your Truth.  By becoming aware of your thoughts – you can then begin to see how you view yourself through a limited lens.

Then, give yourself permission to get quiet and let your connection to the Universe/Source give you Truth through no words – only intuition.  You have a path.  You have a destiny.  Believe it or not, that path will not be laid out by plans or what your head *thinks* you *should* do – it is already designed – you just need to Trust yourself and believe in the Truth to start the journey.  

As always it’s your choice.

A Strong Need To Control

Posted on Jan 22, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” ~Serenity Prayer

If you’re someone who has a strong need to feel in control of your life, your circumstances, your finances, your success, your relationships, your household, other people, the weather, etc. – you are definitely not alone.

The other day I found myself in major over-thinking, analysis paralysis mode – thinking things through – and trying to know an outcome that couldn’t possibly be known, yet.

So as I sat there in my car stopped at a red light (I usually have major epiphanies in the car by the way), I noticed a car up ahead of me with the back window down and a child’s hand hanging out the window. They were waving a white tissue out the car window and simply allowing it to blow in the wind.

These mini miracles never cease to amaze me and the other day was no different. I got the message loud and clear…”Wave the white flag Brenda. Hand it over. Let it go.” Which I did and I felt much better, much more free, more joyful and calm. Come to think of it, I don’t even remember what I was ruminating about that day – and it was only two days ago!

As I’ve written in other articles unmet needs drive us – they unconsciously motivate us to take action, or, to not take action.


How Fear Rules Your Life

Posted on Jan 9, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

What most of us need to realize is – we have a very intimate relationship with fear.  A relationship where fear is in control.  Fear is who you put first.  Fear overrides your own Truth.


Because fear is what we all know.  It’s what we’ve been taught to stay “safe”.  And, even though fear keeps you stuck in misery – it feels familiar – it feels like protection.  False protection, but protection none the less.

Someone said to me the other day, if you say – “I’ve always been afraid of x, y or z “- then what do you think you will manifest in the future?  If you say it’s always been this way (in the past) — aren’t you stating, it’s always going to be that way in the future?

Fear is so entrenched in all of us that most don’t realize that its not your Truth.  It’s not your destiny either, but again, it’s been the reality that you’ve *known*.

Fear tells you what you want will never happen.  It tells you that you aren’t worthy of what you truly want.  It convinces you that who you’ve known yourself to be in the past – is who you’ll always be.  Fear keeps you stuck and gripped in a place of non-action.  Or, it keeps you stuck in a place of constant action.  The energy of fear makes you feel worried, frenzied, and restless – as if something terrible is about to happen at any moment – the other shoe is going to drop, and you need to be ready.

Fear is the energy of non-peace.  And, becoming aware of the energy of fear – and how it’s been the primary driver of your life – is the first step.  The second step is to realize that there is another way to BE.

This other way to BE, is to learn the art of trust and surrender – and rather feeling like you always need to be in control and *know* what’s going to happen next,to rather allow things to unfold in the way in which they are meant -to vs. the way in which you *think* they should.

Easier said than done, I know.

To start this process and new way of being – allow yourself to surrender your mind’s version of how you *think* your life should look based on the expectations that you have.  Then, rather than feel like you need to know your next step – or what to do, etc. – give the reins over to the Universe for a change.  Allow yourself to be guided by Truth vs. the fear of something not happening.

The biggest realization I had going into this year is when my own coach said to me:  “You’re trying to create your life and it’s not yours to create.”  Whoa – that hit me between the eyes – because I know that is the Truth.

The Truth is:  your destiny isn’t something you can conjure up in your mind.  Your destiny is what your soul has already agreed to – and it’s pulling you towards it each day.  Your job is to listen, trust and be present in the moment in order to hear it’s guidance.  

But, if you allow fear to be in charge, then you’ll always be afraid of what you’ve always been afraid of – and then nothing can change.  In other words, as someone said to me, as long as your reality has to go off what fear says, fear will win.

A different reality is trying to choose you, your choice is, will you allow it or stop it?  One is letting your soul guide you and the other is letting fear be in charge.  Which will you choose?  Remember, choose yourself first and you’ll always make the best choice.  

Healing America’s Shadow

Posted on Nov 13, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

“Each aspect within us needs understanding and compassion. If we are unwilling to give it to ourselves how can we expect the world to give it to us?”  ~Debbie Ford

This last week’s events with the presidential election have left so many of us, including me, in a state of bewilderment and sadness.


And, rather than discuss the election’s outcome and how wrong it feels, I’d prefer to speak to the deeper meaning that I believe this whole ordeal is teaching us.

First and foremost, nothing can be truly healed unless you are aware of it.  Therefore, what if, having to look at one of the biggest darkest shadows we’ve ever seen in Donald Trump is certainly causing us all to have to look at not only him, but deep within ourselves and ask, what within me and our society as a whole must now go into healing?

See, the Truth is, you can’t recognize, judge or attract anything that isn’t within you.

Therefore, it’s time to ask the really hard questions of ourselves, the questions that most likely make you squirm, but still must be asked.  Here are a few to get us started:

  • How have we, as a collective unconscious attracted this experience of electing a commander in chief such as this – into the spotlight for all of us to see this darkness?
  • How do we now have the opportunity to shed LIGHT on the biggest shadow there is – a personality put into power who has expressed deep hate and disrespect  – especially for women and minorities?
  • Where does this personality we all see in the public eye reflect areas within ourselves that need to go into healing?  Because in Truth, if I judge outside of me, there must be an aspect within me that I judge first.

Trust me, it took me some time to get the point where I could even contemplate “what if” questions and see this from a higher perspective.

On the day after the election, I felt vulnerable being a woman.   Honestly, being a woman born in the USA, and having a mother who owned her own business, I never witnessed a true glass ceiling.

Yet, walking around on Wednesday, I felt exposed, vulnerable and less than – and knew that women across the country and world all felt like we lost something BIG.

Yet, in the same moment, I knew something BIGGER was being birthed for women especially.  I knew there was a higher call for all of us, especially the young women Hillary Clinton spoke to her in speech.

Here are some more questions to contemplate:

  • What if Hillary Clinton was the catalyst for all of us women to know how deeply we want to claim our own power and worth?
  • What if all of us women, especially the younger generation, who came into a world where so many women blazed a trail for us, needed to see there is still so much more do and BE – and we can never ever take our freedom and empowerment for granted?
  • What if all the women coming together in the “secret groups” as Hillary mentioned in her speech, are meant to come out behind the scenes and risk having our voices and Truths heard – and we needed this upset to push us over the edge?

I know this election stirred something deep within me when I woke up the next day feeling the same way I did on 9/11.  I had the same deep sadness and prayed it was all just a bad dream.

Yet, just as we thought we could never get through 9/11 and the aftermath, we did.  Just like we saw the worst in the world that day, we also saw the best of it in people.  Just like we thought the world was taking a turn for the worst, it truly was humanity’s biggest wake-up call.  And, so many people, including myself, heard the call, and decided to answer.  

I believe this election will have the same effect.  Faith. Hope. Love.  Same values we needed on  9/11 – and are the same pillars of strength we need moving forward.

God Bless the United States of America.

Together We Will Rise.

Having Trust Issues?

Posted on Oct 23, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

Have you ever considered that Trust is an energy? When I heard someone say that my ears perked up. That is usually what happens when you hear the Truth, you pay attention.

And energy is always in motion – therefore what you trust to happen, happens. It’s Universal Law. This happens because you trust that it WILL. In other words, you WILL it to happen with your trust.


What about when you continually intend for something to change or manifest, and you keep getting the same result? Have you asked yourself, what you’re trusting in?

Consider this:

  • Do you trust in doubt more than you trust in what you want?
  • Do you trust that it won’t happen MORE than your trust that it will?
  • Do you trust that if something good happens something bad is right around the corner?

Like everything in your life, this boils down to the trust that you have with yourself. You trust yourself – even in the areas you don’t necessarily want to!


Living In The Present

Posted on Sep 11, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton
Last week I watched a great movie that i highly recommend: Way of the Peaceful Warrior.
It’s based on the author, Dan Millman’s true story about running into a spiritual teacher who would teach him Truth and philosophies that would change his life forever.
The movie (there is a book as well) is so good at demonstrating how we all get stuck in thought patterns that keep us stuck in either the past or the future – and how most of us don’t value the NOW.
We all hear this message “out there” in various forms and messages.  Be Present.  Stay in the moment.  All we have is NOW.  The present is a present.
True, but how do you apply these concepts to your life?  How do you realize what being in the NOW actually gives to your life right now?


What is the opposite of confidence?

Posted on Aug 21, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

“Trust in yourself and your own knowing is the definition of confidence.” 

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Have you ever learned to really TRUST yourself?

When I say trust, I mean deep within, without anyone else’s input – true trust in yourself and what you want to do vs. what everyone else thinks you should do

You may answer this quickly by stating – yes absolutely!  I do what I want.

Yet I bet, if you were assigned someone to follow you around for an entire week and have them observe how many times you sought the opinions of others – or asked others – what do you think I should do? – you ‘d be astonished!

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We all would be astonished how many times we look to the outside world for an inside answer.  You can read how I’ve done it myself here

I’m not saying the advice and opinions of others aren’t valid – they absolutely are.   Yet, my suggestion would be to ask the opinions and advice of others who will guide you to the answers within yourself vs. telling you what they think you should do.

This isn’t an easy thing to do – give up giving up your power – but it’s an incredibly brave and powerful thing to do when you connect with your own Truth and Knowing – and then, have the courage to act upon it.


Are You Working Too Hard On Yourself?

Posted on Nov 9, 2015 | by Brenda Stanton

gypsywoman“You must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.” ~Joseph Campbell

While working with my own coach, we were chatting about an area that I feel blocked in.

As any great coach does, many questions later, he called me on my stuff.

“Did you notice what you just said?”

“Ummm, no what?” I replied.

“When I asked you what it is that you truly want to transform in this area – you went right to yourself and said – I’m working on it.”

He went on to say: “Why are you treating yourself as if you’re a project? What if there is absolutely nothing that you need to work on, improve, or do in order to BE who you really are?

I sat there in silence thinking – I’ve probably said the same exact thing to my own coaching clients – but in that moment, it was the loudest Truth I had ever heard.

I’m sharing this example of my own coaching because I think in the New Age era where there are literal Self Help sections in the bookstore – we all need to question – what are we trying to help within ourselves vs. become within ourselves?

In that moment with my coach, I realized a lifetime pattern of treating myself, my life, and whatever was blocking me at that time – as a project – as something that has a start, finish and an end.

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