Archive for the ‘Faith and Belief’ Category

How Fear Rules Your Life

Posted on Jan 9, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

What most of us need to realize is – we have a very intimate relationship with fear.  A relationship where fear is in control.  Fear is who you put first.  Fear overrides your own Truth.

Why?

Because fear is what we all know.  It’s what we’ve been taught to stay “safe”.  And, even though fear keeps you stuck in misery – it feels familiar – it feels like protection.  False protection, but protection none the less.

Someone said to me the other day, if you say – “I’ve always been afraid of x, y or z “- then what do you think you will manifest in the future?  If you say it’s always been this way (in the past) — aren’t you stating, it’s always going to be that way in the future?

Fear is so entrenched in all of us that most don’t realize that its not your Truth.  It’s not your destiny either, but again, it’s been the reality that you’ve *known*.

Fear tells you what you want will never happen.  It tells you that you aren’t worthy of what you truly want.  It convinces you that who you’ve known yourself to be in the past – is who you’ll always be.  Fear keeps you stuck and gripped in a place of non-action.  Or, it keeps you stuck in a place of constant action.  The energy of fear makes you feel worried, frenzied, and restless – as if something terrible is about to happen at any moment – the other shoe is going to drop, and you need to be ready.

Fear is the energy of non-peace.  And, becoming aware of the energy of fear – and how it’s been the primary driver of your life – is the first step.  The second step is to realize that there is another way to BE.

This other way to BE, is to learn the art of trust and surrender – and rather feeling like you always need to be in control and *know* what’s going to happen next,to rather allow things to unfold in the way in which they are meant -to vs. the way in which you *think* they should.

Easier said than done, I know.

To start this process and new way of being – allow yourself to surrender your mind’s version of how you *think* your life should look based on the expectations that you have.  Then, rather than feel like you need to know your next step – or what to do, etc. – give the reins over to the Universe for a change.  Allow yourself to be guided by Truth vs. the fear of something not happening.

The biggest realization I had going into this year is when my own coach said to me:  “You’re trying to create your life and it’s not yours to create.”  Whoa – that hit me between the eyes – because I know that is the Truth.

The Truth is:  your destiny isn’t something you can conjure up in your mind.  Your destiny is what your soul has already agreed to – and it’s pulling you towards it each day.  Your job is to listen, trust and be present in the moment in order to hear it’s guidance.  

But, if you allow fear to be in charge, then you’ll always be afraid of what you’ve always been afraid of – and then nothing can change.  In other words, as someone said to me, as long as your reality has to go off what fear says, fear will win.

A different reality is trying to choose you, your choice is, will you allow it or stop it?  One is letting your soul guide you and the other is letting fear be in charge.  Which will you choose?  Remember, choose yourself first and you’ll always make the best choice.  

Healing America’s Shadow

Posted on Nov 13, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

“Each aspect within us needs understanding and compassion. If we are unwilling to give it to ourselves how can we expect the world to give it to us?”  ~Debbie Ford

This last week’s events with the presidential election have left so many of us, including me, in a state of bewilderment and sadness.

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And, rather than discuss the election’s outcome and how wrong it feels, I’d prefer to speak to the deeper meaning that I believe this whole ordeal is teaching us.

First and foremost, nothing can be truly healed unless you are aware of it.  Therefore, what if, having to look at one of the biggest darkest shadows we’ve ever seen in Donald Trump is certainly causing us all to have to look at not only him, but deep within ourselves and ask, what within me and our society as a whole must now go into healing?

See, the Truth is, you can’t recognize, judge or attract anything that isn’t within you.

Therefore, it’s time to ask the really hard questions of ourselves, the questions that most likely make you squirm, but still must be asked.  Here are a few to get us started:

  • How have we, as a collective unconscious attracted this experience of electing a commander in chief such as this – into the spotlight for all of us to see this darkness?
  • How do we now have the opportunity to shed LIGHT on the biggest shadow there is – a personality put into power who has expressed deep hate and disrespect  – especially for women and minorities?
  • Where does this personality we all see in the public eye reflect areas within ourselves that need to go into healing?  Because in Truth, if I judge outside of me, there must be an aspect within me that I judge first.

Trust me, it took me some time to get the point where I could even contemplate “what if” questions and see this from a higher perspective.

On the day after the election, I felt vulnerable being a woman.   Honestly, being a woman born in the USA, and having a mother who owned her own business, I never witnessed a true glass ceiling.

Yet, walking around on Wednesday, I felt exposed, vulnerable and less than – and knew that women across the country and world all felt like we lost something BIG.

Yet, in the same moment, I knew something BIGGER was being birthed for women especially.  I knew there was a higher call for all of us, especially the young women Hillary Clinton spoke to her in speech.

Here are some more questions to contemplate:

  • What if Hillary Clinton was the catalyst for all of us women to know how deeply we want to claim our own power and worth?
  • What if all of us women, especially the younger generation, who came into a world where so many women blazed a trail for us, needed to see there is still so much more do and BE – and we can never ever take our freedom and empowerment for granted?
  • What if all the women coming together in the “secret groups” as Hillary mentioned in her speech, are meant to come out behind the scenes and risk having our voices and Truths heard – and we needed this upset to push us over the edge?

I know this election stirred something deep within me when I woke up the next day feeling the same way I did on 9/11.  I had the same deep sadness and prayed it was all just a bad dream.

Yet, just as we thought we could never get through 9/11 and the aftermath, we did.  Just like we saw the worst in the world that day, we also saw the best of it in people.  Just like we thought the world was taking a turn for the worst, it truly was humanity’s biggest wake-up call.  And, so many people, including myself, heard the call, and decided to answer.  

I believe this election will have the same effect.  Faith. Hope. Love.  Same values we needed on  9/11 – and are the same pillars of strength we need moving forward.

God Bless the United States of America.

Together We Will Rise.

Having Trust Issues?

Posted on Oct 23, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

Have you ever considered that Trust is an energy? When I heard someone say that my ears perked up. That is usually what happens when you hear the Truth, you pay attention.

And energy is always in motion – therefore what you trust to happen, happens. It’s Universal Law. This happens because you trust that it WILL. In other words, you WILL it to happen with your trust.

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What about when you continually intend for something to change or manifest, and you keep getting the same result? Have you asked yourself, what you’re trusting in?

Consider this:

  • Do you trust in doubt more than you trust in what you want?
  • Do you trust that it won’t happen MORE than your trust that it will?
  • Do you trust that if something good happens something bad is right around the corner?

Like everything in your life, this boils down to the trust that you have with yourself. You trust yourself – even in the areas you don’t necessarily want to!

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Living In The Present

Posted on Sep 11, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton
Last week I watched a great movie that i highly recommend: Way of the Peaceful Warrior.
It’s based on the author, Dan Millman’s true story about running into a spiritual teacher who would teach him Truth and philosophies that would change his life forever.
 
The movie (there is a book as well) is so good at demonstrating how we all get stuck in thought patterns that keep us stuck in either the past or the future – and how most of us don’t value the NOW.
 Meditating
We all hear this message “out there” in various forms and messages.  Be Present.  Stay in the moment.  All we have is NOW.  The present is a present.
 
True, but how do you apply these concepts to your life?  How do you realize what being in the NOW actually gives to your life right now?

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What is the opposite of confidence?

Posted on Aug 21, 2016 | by Brenda Stanton

“Trust in yourself and your own knowing is the definition of confidence.” 

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Have you ever learned to really TRUST yourself?

When I say trust, I mean deep within, without anyone else’s input – true trust in yourself and what you want to do vs. what everyone else thinks you should do

You may answer this quickly by stating – yes absolutely!  I do what I want.

Yet I bet, if you were assigned someone to follow you around for an entire week and have them observe how many times you sought the opinions of others – or asked others – what do you think I should do? – you ‘d be astonished!

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We all would be astonished how many times we look to the outside world for an inside answer.  You can read how I’ve done it myself here

I’m not saying the advice and opinions of others aren’t valid – they absolutely are.   Yet, my suggestion would be to ask the opinions and advice of others who will guide you to the answers within yourself vs. telling you what they think you should do.

This isn’t an easy thing to do – give up giving up your power – but it’s an incredibly brave and powerful thing to do when you connect with your own Truth and Knowing – and then, have the courage to act upon it.

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Are You Working Too Hard On Yourself?

Posted on Nov 9, 2015 | by Brenda Stanton

gypsywoman“You must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.” ~Joseph Campbell

While working with my own coach, we were chatting about an area that I feel blocked in.

As any great coach does, many questions later, he called me on my stuff.

“Did you notice what you just said?”

“Ummm, no what?” I replied.

“When I asked you what it is that you truly want to transform in this area – you went right to yourself and said – I’m working on it.”

He went on to say: “Why are you treating yourself as if you’re a project? What if there is absolutely nothing that you need to work on, improve, or do in order to BE who you really are?

I sat there in silence thinking – I’ve probably said the same exact thing to my own coaching clients – but in that moment, it was the loudest Truth I had ever heard.

I’m sharing this example of my own coaching because I think in the New Age era where there are literal Self Help sections in the bookstore – we all need to question – what are we trying to help within ourselves vs. become within ourselves?

In that moment with my coach, I realized a lifetime pattern of treating myself, my life, and whatever was blocking me at that time – as a project – as something that has a start, finish and an end.

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View Yourself Through A New Lens

Posted on Apr 13, 2015 | by Brenda Stanton

“Whatever is happening in your life is coming from an image you hold about yourself.” -Sanaya Roman

Have you ever thought of the mental image you hold of yourself?

Most likely, you have different mental images of yourself in different areas of your life. For example, you could view yourself in one way in regard to work and a completely different way when it comes to relationships.

As you think about the mental image you have of yourself, consider the mental image you think others have of you. Do these images coincide and parallel – or are they varied?

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Where Change Really Happens

Posted on Mar 23, 2015 | by Brenda Stanton

“Life is a trapeze: Without letting go, there is no show. ~Dinabandhu Sarley

The other night I saw a license plate with the word “Trapeze” on it. It reminded me of the above quote as well as a very well known poem that I wanted to share with you.

I found the poem in a place where it states that IIN founder, Joshua Rosenthal wrote it – or referenced it – regardless it’s a good one! Hope you enjoy!

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Do You Have A Dream?

Posted on Jan 19, 2015 | by Brenda Stanton

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” ~C. S. Lewis

Do you have a vision that you’re longing see come to fruition?

Or do you know you’d like something to be different but you aren’t sure what that something different may be?

Or, maybe you’d like to challenge yourself to go to another level in your life/work and want to set some new goals.

I believe the hardest part is the having clarity about what it is that you’re wanting and then having the courage to not only listen to what it is that you yearn for, but to act on it.

Daring to dream is an act of bold courage. It’s not only bold to act on your dreams “out there” but even more courageous to get over the inner critic that can scream at you in your head telling you that you’re not good enough, too old, not talented enough, or too much of a perfectionist.

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Chasing vs. Claiming Your Worth

Posted on Dec 22, 2014 | by Brenda Stanton

“Be yourself, not your idea of what you think somebody else’s idea of yourself should be.”
Henry David Thoreau

According to Dictionary.com, the word “chase” has many definitions all amounting to key words such as: to pursue in to order to seize, overtake; to capture or kill, as game; hunt; to follow or devote one’s attention to with the hope of attracting, winning, gaining; to drive or expel by force, threat, or harassment.

When you look-up claim via Dictionary.com, you find definitions including: to demand by or as by virtue of a right; demand as a right or as due; to assert and demand the recognition of (a right, title, possession, etc.); assert one’s right to; to assert or maintain as a fact; to require as due or fitting.

To me, chasing sounds very aggressive and forceful. It also sounds less confident – very much like trying vs. having certainty that it will happen. It also sounds like lots of struggle and work and to me feels plain less than.

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