Archive for the ‘Faith and Belief’ Category

Trade Your Expectations for Appreciation & Miracles Unfold

Posted on Nov 6, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

“ Trade your expectations for appreciation and your whole life becomes a miracle.”

Sharing another transformational video with this week from the one and only, Tony Robbins. In this short, 30-second video, watch how Tony gives you, what I feel like, is the SHIFT of a lifetime.

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Stuck In Your Story

Posted on Jun 25, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

 

“A come back is not a go back” ~Tim Storey

I was speaking with someone recently who asked me “So when you experienced that hurt at an early-age, who did you tell about it?”  “Nobody” I answered.

What this individual helped me realize is – “Nobody” quickly became my companion in life – that voice in my head who kept me company and helped me create stories about why I *think* things happened and what they meant vs. simply just letting what happened, BE.

And I’ve continued to keep Nobody around for most of my life.  Relying on my mind-made stories to help me decipher events or circumstances and create meaning out of them.   And…when I didn’t have a direct answer, that meaning I made up usually was a negative conclusion vs. a positive one.  This conclusion would then reinforce the limiting story and stories I told myself about why I couldn’t have or experience what I truly wanted.

Only when I allowed myself to be in the NOW – and witness what was/is happening vs. being in my head making up stories about WHY it’s happening, did I become aware of how I limit myself through making up stories.

We all have a story – the question to ask yourself is:  Does your story limit you or liberate you?
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Fate vs. Destiny

Posted on Jun 11, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

We all have a story we tell ourselves about how worthy or unworthy we feel based on past and current circumstances.

And, most everyone looks to create something in the future to transcend the circumstances that made you (or are making you) feel unworthy…and….hold onto the circumstances that you feel give you worth.

But have you ever considered that trying to create your life keeps you stuck in what you *think* you *should* do and have vs. allowing what is meant for you to happen?

The past two years have opened my own eyes to how mind driven I’ve been.  How, even though, I’ve been following spiritual practice and “teachers”, I was still more committed to giving my mind the power and trying to control what happens vs. allowing what is meant to happen, happen.

What I’m continuing to realize is: my mind doesn’t have the insight and Truth that my soul does.  In Truth, my mind doesn’t know my destiny.  My mind only knows my fate based on the story I tell myself about myself and my current & past life circumstances.  

Have you ever considered that you tell yourself a story about your own worth without realizing that you’re the one telling the story, not life?

I used to *think* (a.k.a. tell myself) that I just had bad luck in certain areas of my life – and that the reason things weren’t changing or manifesting in the direction I wanted them to go was because…and then insert whatever story line here that my mind told me about my circumstances.  I used to *think* life was working against me, not for me.

But then, I realized that I have a story teller that is focused on creating meaning and significance with events that I took to mean this or that about me and my worthiness.  If this happened it meant this.  Or if that happened it must mean this.

I hadn’t considered that I could just let an event or circumstance happen and BE without putting a judgement on it….

We’re taught that the outer world is a direct reflection of our worthiness and if we don’t have everything that others do – then, well, it must mean they are more deserving or whatever the story is that you may tell yourself.

But the Truth is – the mind/ego is solely focused on comparison and it’s favorite thing to do is measure your worth in comparison with someone else’s.  This only causes suffering and keeps you stuck in that same limiting story.  And, your worth can never be measured.  Ever.

What if, in order to allow your destiny, you decide that you’ll become aware of the story you tell yourself about yourself (and others and life, etc.) and not buy into it – simply witness it as a story – as just words. Can you imagine the freedom that would create in your life?  Can you imagine the unlimited possibilities?

Your story keeps you stuck.

If you’re ready to ditch that story – rather than tell yourself a new one about how worthy you really are, make a choice to just let what is BE…no judgement.  Just let it be without telling yourself that it *means* something about you.

This approach is true for “good” circumstances as much as it is for “bad” circumstances because no matter what, the other shoe will drop.  We live in a duality world – where polarity rules the day.  One day it rains  – another day the sun is out.

Have you ever questioned mother nature about what the weather means?  Or, even said to mother nature, don’t rain today.  No, because you know you aren’t in control of mother nature.  And, you being part of nature, what if you aren’t in control of your destiny either?  What if, the greatest vision you could you ever experience for your life was in the not knowing vs. the knowing?  What if being NOW and accepting what comes IS your purpose?

Lots to contemplate!  And much more to come in future articles on this approach to life.

 

Giving Yourself Credit

Posted on Apr 30, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

 

Here is a question for you: When was the last time you sat down and acknowledged yourself for what you’ve accomplished, overcome, realized about yourself, contributed to others, etc. – in the last few months, and even the last several years?

Do you have a memory of this – or is the answer – not so much. Or never?

If you haven’t been making it a ritual to acknowledge yourself and how much progress and contribution you make every day – and every year – then I highly recommend making this a new habit in your life.

Most of us were brought up to believe that to acknowledge yourself for anything means that you’re
a show-off, know-it-all, or you’re self-absorbed. And as a result of this, there is a subconscious fear and message running like a tape drive in your mind saying – whatever you do, it’s never going to be enough, and it’s not that big of a deal.

I remember reading a story years back about Oprah and how she was tangled up in some subconscious beliefs around her weight. The story went on to explain a deeper block that she held which was: If I’m too much they won’t like me – I can’t be pretty too and have all this!

What got revealed in that story was that Oprah was brought up to not make a big deal about her achievements because her elders wanted her to remain humble. And in Oprah’s case, this was a true gift as she took things in stride and didn’t allow her success to go to her head.

However, Oprah herself discovered that by not making a big deal about her successes, and not acknowledging herself for what’s she’s been able to do and contribute, she was denying an aspect of herself and not fully owning who she really is.

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The Power Of Your Will Part 2

Posted on Apr 17, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

Being then doing – that is the equation.  Often we’re told however that we need to do and then do some more – and what you want will happen.

Yet, as i mentioned in Part 1 of this topic, what you think you want is very different than what you know you are destined for.

What you think you want is derived from the belief:  once I have it and experience it – I’ll feel better, I’ll be happy.  This belief is built on the premise that whatever it is that you desire is separate from you – that it needs to manifest in order for you to experience the feeling of having it.

What you’re destined for on the other hand is based on the Truth that you already have it – and you are already IT.   The only separation between what you’re experiencing and what you desire are the thoughts that tell you all the reasons why you can’t have it.

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The Power Of Your Will Part 1

Posted on Apr 2, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

Willing something to happen is very different than forcing something to happen.

Will tends to get a bad rap because it conjures up the word willpower – which almost always gives way to:  restriction and going against yourself vs. allowing and letting things flow and be easy.

To me, will power gives the image of – I want it but I really don’t want it but I’m going to force myself to want it.  Sound familiar?  Trying to force something you should want but you face resistance around it.

In it’s truest sense, will power is exerted when you realize that what you want is what the Universe wants for you too – and you then have the courage to take action towards what you want – no matter what.

This is the same concept of:  when you marry intention with action and a miracle happens!  It’s when things just flow and happen – and you know you aren’t standing in your own way anymore – you’re allowing your highest good to manifest.

But what happens when you want something and it doesn’t happen – and the exact opposite manifests?  The same concept of will power is at play here too.  You willed what you don’t want to happen, it just wasn’t a conscious choice – it was an unconscious one.

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What You Resist Persists

Posted on Mar 26, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

“What you resists persists” ~Carl Jung

When the law of attraction got introduced on a larger scale through the book/dvd The Secret I think the anxiety level of many people went up on a larger scale too.

There is a term called – unconscious competent – and I believe for many years many of us weren’t aware of what we were creating – and there wasn’t that much pressure to know.  Things happened naturally and sometimes they didn’t – but the pressure of “You Create Your Own Reality” wasn’t there.

I believe we could all utilize less of – You Create Your Own Reality – and more of – You Allow Your Reality.   

When The Secret came out, you most likely knew the concepts and knew when you thought about something – it did often come about.  You may have created a vision board – and cut pictures out of magazines *telling* the Universe what you wanted.

I did the same.  I’d write in my journal about what I *thought* I wanted and some things would manifest and some things wouldn’t.

When things didn’t manifest, I see now that it all had to do with my resistance level to allowing and trusting that if it wasn’t right, the Universe didn’t want me to have it right then.  Or, there was something in my story – the story I made up about how my past circumstances defined who I am and based on that, I’m not worthy.

Regardless, I’d often resist it and fight harder for what I *thought* I wanted and the more I resisted, the more what I didn’t want would appear.  Which left me feeling even more frustrated and believing a) the law of attraction just didn’t work for me – and/or b) I’m unconsciously reinforcing my story that I’m not enough in some way or c) all of the above :)

What I’m learning is – Acceptance is the key.  Accepting everything that comes your way and knowing that whatever comes, it is for your highest good.  This puts you in the flow of life vs. putting you in the resistance to life.

As I practice this, my mind has been having a field day with resistance – screaming at me: “What do you mean accept what comes and what is?  How in the world will the Universe ever know what you truly want if you’re so passive?”  Essentially saying, you need control and you need control now!

Yet, the Truth is – my mind doesn’t know what life has in store for me – it only knows the story it created around what I’m worthy of and what I’m not based on what I’ve already experienced. This story is very limiting – and it may lead me to my mind’s fate, but it won’t lead me to my destiny.

My prayer moving forward is to be pulled towards my destiny – and to allow that to unfold through being accepting of what is and what comes.  This doesn’t mean that I passively just walk through life not wanting things – I still have desires – but rather than consult my mind on what those desires are, I’m deciding to go deeper into my soul and allow my soul to speak to me and to WILL it to happen vs. try to make it happen.

We’ll talk more about WILL next time – meanwhile, if this approach resonates, give it a try.  Accept what is – and know that what is – IS for your highest good.  Trust it.

Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop?

Posted on Mar 18, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

Have you ever experienced a situation in life that is going “too good” – or “too peaceful” or “too successful” and a part of your brain keeps whispering:  “There is no way this can last.  When is the other shoe going to drop?”

Waiting for the other shoe to drop is an actual syndrome which has it’s root in FEAR.    The fear of experiencing peace or goodness and then your mind trying to prepare you for the worst case scenario.  

This is what fear does – it keeps you in a constant state of panic and high alert.  You subconsciously stand guard for something bad happening – and worry that nothing good can ever last.  This results in your body and mind humming at a rapid pace – like a car’s engine that is kept on too long – it’s idle and eventually begins to rev up.  No wonder you may have a hard time being in the moment – the present moment feels frightening!

Being aware of having this fear of the other shoe dropping is the first step because you can now see that this is a survival mechanism that your brain created to help protect you.  Yet, in Truth, this isn’t really protecting you – it’s keeping you in a state of panic, worry and anxiety.  Feelings that may feel familiar to you – but feelings that also keep you stuck.

So, what is the true solution to overcoming waiting for the other shoe to drop?

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What does your self worth depend on?

Posted on Mar 11, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

To depend means to rely on and put trust in.  Now ask yourself what does your self worth depend on?

Most of us were taught early-on that in order to have self worth, we need to depend on and put trust in our outer circumstances.  Where what happens to us dicates if we feel like enough or not.  

Living life this way feels like you’re on a constant hamster wheel – where if things are bad, you’re always hoping for something better to happen – and  if things are good, you’re always wondering, when is the other shoe going to drop?  

This may be the norm but it doesn’t need to be your norm.

Depending on outer circumstances to define your self worth will always lead to disappointment because you’ll feel like you’re always chasing something or trying to keep something that you feel is outside of you.

What if there is another way to live?  A way where regardless of what happens “out there” you feel at peace.  Where you aren’t reaching, striving or trying to get things to stay the same – or change – but rather accepting life as it comes to you.

I hadn’t realized, until very recently, how dominated I’ve been by trying to dictate how I *think* my life should be and look.  I didn’t realize how overloaded I was on mind dominance and trying to think my way into the future I *thought* i wanted.

Yet, your mind can only take you so far – it’s limited by what you *think* and what you’ve experienced.

Your soul on the other hand, is unlimited and directly connected to your destiny – it’s unlimited by what the universe yearns for you to experience.  

Knowing this Truth, which path will you walk?  And, how do you know the first steps to take?

I choose destiny and allowing the Universe to lead – which means accepting every circumstance in my life as if I chose it to be this way.

Not easy but I believe extremely worthwhile.

If you’re willing to allow life to lead you, consider some advice a good friend/coach gave to me that I’ll share with you.  For the next 48-hours, take every circumstance in your life, no matter what happens and simply say out loud:  “Thank you, I have no complaints”.

If you can get in this habit of living life this way, I believe we’ll all be astonished as to what can transpire.

I’d love to hear how your experiment goes – and as always, it’s your choice which path you choose to walk.  Choose wisely.

Trusting The Universe

Posted on Jan 29, 2017 | by Brenda Stanton

The Universe believes in anything you believe in. ~Sherry Patterson

Have you ever considered the relationship that you have with the Universe?  The highest power there is that birthed you into this world and will also birth you out of it?  Do you trust this energy – or do you have distrust in it?  

It’s a vital question to ask yourself

Consider the statement above.  The Universe believes in anything you believe in.

Therefore, what if you unconsciously believe you aren’t worthy.   If the Universe’s believes in anything that you do, is the o
nly choice to comply with what you believe and show you proof outside of you through your circumstances?

I used to *think* that what I truly wanted was outside of me and the Universe would grant it or keep it from me based on if I was worthy or if I wasn’t.  I didn’t realize that the Universe and I are One – we are bonded, connected, with no separation.  And the Universe has a plan – and if I could allow myself to surrender and trust in that plan – then life
would flow.

We know this when we’re really young.  We know who we are, why we’re here and how truly unique we are.  We know that life has our backs and that there is no need to worry.  We don’t track time.  We don’t worry about money – or anything bad happening.  We were just in the moment enjoying our surroundings.

But then, something – or many things happen – and you take that event or circumstance and begin to tell yourself an excuse about why it happened so it will make sense.  Maybe you told yourself that you must be bad, unworthy or just a piece of crap. Whatever it is – thoughts around this belief begin to multiply and then the limiting story of you gets birthed.

All of us create limiting stories so that our lives can make sense.  Then, we attract circumstances and people into our lives to reflect this back and help us heal it.

I had no idea how strong my mind-dominance was until I worked with coaches who pointed out to me a really powerful analogy of what was showing up in my life.  I told them about journals I have kept since I was in my early – twenties.  I kept them under lock and key in my closet in a “treasure chest”.  The aha moment came when they helped me see that I had a box full of stories telling the same story over and over again about why I couldn’t have what I really wanted.  Yikes!  Needless to say those journals have all been shredded ;)

The journal example was such a great visual of how we have a hamster wheel of thoughts that go around and around – telling and showing us what we believe we’re worth and what believe we’re not.

So, it is with you – the question remains – what you believe about your own self-worth – and what do you believe the Universe believes about your self worth?  Do you believe you’re separate and that you must prove, earn, and/or compete for your worth -to have what you want granted to you?  Or, are you ready for a different way?

If you’re ready for a different way the first step is to become aware of the limiting thoughts that you think – and realize that these are not your Truth.  By becoming aware of your thoughts – you can then begin to see how you view yourself through a limited lens.

Then, give yourself permission to get quiet and let your connection to the Universe/Source give you Truth through no words – only intuition.  You have a path.  You have a destiny.  Believe it or not, that path will not be laid out by plans or what your head *thinks* you *should* do – it is already designed – you just need to Trust yourself and believe in the Truth to start the journey.  

As always it’s your choice.