As the holidays approach, there is no doubt you’re making plans to be with family. Perhaps you’re excited and perhaps you are not.
This article is written for those of you who are perhaps dreading being around family energy that may make you feel uncomfortable and bring up old patterns and feelings – that you’d rather not feel.
My advice is to treat the holiday season as a great time to put old wounds into healing – and to become aware of thought patterns that may still be haunting you and holding you back to this day.
Those of you who are committed to the work of self awareness and becoming your True Self, know that we all inherited legacies of self worth patterns that aren’t even our own, but we unconsciously decided to own.
Take for example, a client of mine (who I have permission to share her story without revealing her name) who recently was around a close family member who she has struggled having any kind of relationship with.
As we talked through the feelings that arise within her when she’s around this family member, I suggested she stay awake and aware and nonjudgmental when she observes not only the behavior from the family member, but the behavior that goes on within herself.
What has to be realized is – any judgement, opinion, mean comment, etc. that was bestowed on you by another – was a moment in time that triggered you – and you took that judgement, opinion, or mean comment and told yourself something about it. In other words, you took on the energy of that individual and told yourself that you’re not worthy, you’re bad, you’re stupid – whatever it was – and then your mind recycled that thought to continue to show up to prove you right time and time again.
So, when you get around those that you’re connected to (close family members) you get extra triggered because as the law of attraction would have it – we bring about what we think about – so if that thought pattern is laying dormant in you – and hasn’t been put into healing, you’ll inevitably be triggered and begin to feel all those unworthy feelings – and continue to believe lies such as: “They were right about me – I must be stupid, unsuccessful, weak, etc.”
What must be realized is – you take your power back when you accept that you took on their opinion as your own – and you told yourself that lie again and again.
Also, consider the source. Does the individual (most likely close family member) go deep within themselves to heal their own wounds of self-judgement like you do? Or, do they most likely continue to tell themselves things about themselves that were handed down to them from other close family members – and then continue to lie and judge themselves?
When you have the courage to begin to separate yourself from past and present circumstances – and witness them vs. fully participate in them – you’ll begin to see very clearly how those you feel judge you – are harsher on themselves and only passed something onto you that they couldn’t help but spill out of themselves.
Remember, hurt people, hurt people.
Your choice is – do you want to continue to recycle the legacy of low self worth by looking to others to validate you or make up for past wrongs?
Or, will you decide to go within yourself and connect with your own Truth, and finally put into healing the pains and hurts that need and crave your OWN attention and love.
No one else can do this for you – and it’s the truly the greatest GIFT you can give yourself this holiday season.
Be brave. Go within. Claim YOUR Worth!
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